


Baby, you're my angel

by pinkphoeniixx



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Bisexuality, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hong Jisoo | Joshua & Yoon Jeonghan Are Best Friends, Joshua is a hot sugar daddy do I need to say more?, Lee Seokmin | DK is a Sunshine, Like seriously i apologize for the endless typos, M/M, Not Beta Read, Praise Kink, Sexual Content, Soft Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Sugar Daddy, appearance of female idols but they are gay and so am i, as he should, i dont know how the fashion industry works, like a lot i didn't plan on it but oh well, shua is whipped and loves spoiling seokmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 70,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24797827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkphoeniixx/pseuds/pinkphoeniixx
Summary: Joshua Hong is talented, hard working, ambitious and ready to take over the whole fashion industry. Only if he could find his muse again.Insert Lee Seokmin - beautiful,  innocent and maybe the sunshine Joshua needed for the big storm that was his life.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, minor - Relationship
Comments: 150
Kudos: 405





	1. "Ask him to be your sugar baby."

**Author's Note:**

> There are not many Seoksoo fics out there and they are my favorite ship, so what was my answer? Sugar daddy AU ofc.

i.

" You should go out with me tonight." Jeonghan said, looking straight at the mirror and not sparing him a glance. Joshua goes in front of him and smooths down the fabric. It's almost ready , black Taffeta shirt with crystals on the edge of the colar. He had this idea of a black and pink combo for a while now and hoped it came out good.

" I have to finish the suit." Joshua said, taking his pincushion from the table and pining the excess fabric around the waist. Joshua had the whole suit planned in his head, nothing too over the top, perfect for spring. He looked at Jeonghan, the black fabric contrasting with his blond hair and fair skin, bringing out his beautiful features. 

" Joshua honey, you say that every time, your thread and needles won't run away." Joshua gave him a look before checking and adjusting the colar. He thought if the crystals would be too much but decided to trust his gut. A pop of sparkle never hurt anyone.

" I'll think about it." Joshua said, stepping away from Jeonghan and taking his notebook to look at the design for the next model. He didn't need to take too much time fitting with Jeonghan because they have been working together since the start of Joshua's career. He knew his measurements, what fabrics and colors fitted best with his complexion. They were also best friends, which meant that Jeonghan knew that 'thinking about it" meant no in most situations. " You can come down, I've finished."

" Suit yourself." The model said and walked out of the room to change himself. Joshua put his pen behind his ears and groaned after he saw who was next. The next model was a nightmare, always having an opinion or was dissatisfied at the results. Joshua have had two fittings with him and had already told his secretary to never hire him again. Hell he would have dropped him already, but his clothes were already mostly done and Joshua didn't want to bother adjusting the piece for another model.

" It's already past noon, have you eaten?" Jeonghan came in the room, dressed in all black plus big sunglasses, which he lifted to stand on top of his head. It was so easy for him to look effortlessly beautiful and put together , that was also the reason he was the model and Joshua was behind the scenes. He loved making beautiful people shine even more.

" I had a coffee and a bagel for breakfast." Joshua said, closing his book and sitting on the chair behind his desk. 

" We both know that means coffee and a bite of bagel at best." Jeonghan pushed the papers scattered all over the desk aside and sat on top. " When was the last time you got out, had a drink, danced, had someone over for the night? Doesn't this sound fun? "

" We both know all of the above are on your part. Or were. Speaking of , how is Cheol?" Joshua crossed his fingers, resting his chin on top and gave him the most innocent smile he could.

" That's low, even for you." Jeonghan laughed. " He's fine, you can see him if you came tonight. We always visit his favourite club on Saturdays." 

" Don't be like that Hannie." 

" Okay, I won't pressure you, but if you decide to come you are always welcomed." Jeonghan said and gave him a hug, wishing him goodbye. Joshua waited for him to leave and sank in the chair. He was so tired, he had not slept that night, thinking of new ideas, that didn't seem to come. He was running out of time, which caused headache, which caused lack of ideas. it was a never ending circle. 

A knock on his door warned him that it was time for his next appointment. And speaking of headache.

ii.  
When he came into his apartment later that night it felt even more cold and dark, it was like the feeling grew every time he opened the door. What was even the point of living this big and spacious when everything he felt was emptiness. There were almost no pictures on the walls, the only colors around him were black and white. Even his office had more character. What was the point of having this big TV and couch when he didn't even used them. 

Joshua walked to the window and pulled the curtains.  
The city from above felt empty too. All he could see was buildings, each taller than the previous. That was the effect of living in the heart of the city, he supposed. There were no birds flying around, the sky was almost always white when he looked up.Down on the street you couldn't differentiate the people. There were only silhouettes,almost all looking like shadows. He couldn't even hear the sounds of the cars in traffic from up here. It all felt pretentious and fake.

Everything around him felt like that lately. Fake words, fake smiles , fake people. There was no happiness, no colors, no sunshine. Before he felt inspired by the smallest things. The way leaves danced carried by the autumn wind, the happy laughter of kids and the bark of dogs playing in the park, the small cafes that felt more like home than his apartment. Now there was nothing.

Joshua got his jacket and went out. He needed to get out of here. 

iii.

Upon entering the club Joshua was welcomed by bright lights in many colors, beneath dry-ice smoke, swirling an array of blues, acid greens, hot pinks and purples. The music, some beat that felt familiar, was too loud and Joshua felt the headache forming again. All of the people on the dancefloor were young, attractive and full of energy, dancing like there was no tomorrow. There was a strong smell of alcohol and smoke and Joshua scrunched his nose. He thought he saw Jeonghan on the other end of the dance floor, but decided he needed a drink before that. He wasn't big fan of alcohol usually but he felt like he could use one right now.

The bar was on the right of the dance floor and Joshua headed in that direction. The blue led shelves were filled with all kinds of expensive bottles. Joshua sat on a empty bar stool between a girl in silk red dress and, he supposed a couple, aggressively making out. There were two bartenders, one of them had his back turned to him and the other was talking to a girl so Joshua waited to make an eye contact with him. He was really not an one to whistle or snap his fingers, these habits were really annoying and disrespectful. The bartender saw him and smiled at him, gesturing to Joshua to wait a moment. He was gorgeous, Joshua thought. His red hair was styled in a perfect way, he was tall and his skin was a beautiful tan colour. He reminded Joshua of all the previous guys he engaged himself with when he was younger. Tall, dark and handsome were just his type a while ago. Of course all the qualities came with fragile masculinity and toxic behaviour. Joshua got a notification so he pulled up his phone while he waited. It was a notification from his secretary for his schedule for the next week.

‘’Thank you for your patience.” Somebody said a moment later, but Joshua did not look up from his phone. He really needed to figure out a way to postpone his fitting with that model. He really wasn't in the mood to meet him first thing on a Monday. “What can I get for you,sir?” The voice said again.

“I would like a..” Joshua locked his phone and looked up and wow. Were all the bartenders here that beautiful. This one was not that tall and his hair was a warm brown colour but was nevertheless even more stunning. His nose was tall and his cheekbones were sharp. He looked gorgeous with every colour the lights projected on his skin. Joshua was around models all the time, they were all perfect , doll like. This boy was far from them, he looked simple but charming, which made him even more astonishing. 

‘’We have a list of specials if you are not sure.” The boy said and Joshua realized he had been staring him for the past few moments.

“Right” Joshua cleared his voice and accepted the menu. He threw a quick glance over it, not to seem rude, but they all sounded cheesy and were too colourful.

“See something you like?” The bartender asked after a moment.

“Yeah” Joshua said and looked at him. The boy seemed confused at first but then a realization stuck him.His eyes went wide and he smiled, looking down. His smile was the most stunning thing Joshua had seen. It was like his face lit up and his eyes disappeared.

“I...usually people don't... ” He was stuttering and it was adorable.”Im sorry” He said and covered his face with his hands.

“Can you pick something for me?”

“Um...yes okay.” The boy said after a moment. “You can never go wrong with a Margarita.” Joshua nodded and smiled. The bartender took a bottle of tequila from the glass shelves and Joshua watched him pour the liquid into a shaker along with some lime juice, orange liqueur and a few ice cubes. He worked fast, he probably knew how to make this drink by muscle memory and his hands worked by themselves. He had beautiful hands too.

“Here you go.I hope you like it.” The drink was placed in front of Joshua and he took a sip. The alcohol burned down his throat, a feeling he did not particularly enjoy but he could bare . 

“It's perfect, thank you.” He said and reached for his wallet, sliding a few bills over the bar. As much as he liked the bartender, he probably had work to do and Joshua did not want to bother. Plus he felt his phone buzz a few times which was a sign that Jeonghan was looking for him.“Keep the change.”

“Are you sure? That's definitely too much.”

“Of course.” He winked at him and turned on his heels, cocktail in hand and headed towards his friends direction. Joshua made his way, avoiding the crowd on the dance floor as best as he could.

“Finally” Jeonghan said when Joshua was close enough so they could hear each other. “I think I saw you coming a while ago.”

“I got a drink.” Joshua said, taking a sip and placing the cocktail on the table.”Plus the bartender was pretty.”

“Mingyu?” Seungcheol said and Joshua raised his shoulders. He hadn't asked for his name plus he doubt it was appropriate.

“I saw him. I'm not surprised, he is hot, not many people can pull off that red hair.”

“Your boyfriend is sitting right beside you.” Joshua laughed and they both looked at Seungcheol, who seemed unfazed by the whole situation.

“He is, but he has a boyfriend so off limits. ” Seungcheol said and Joshua did not know if that meant off limits for him or for them.

“I actually meant the other one.” Joshua pointed out.

“He is cute too, but he is not usually your type.” Jeonghan said and leaned back against his boyfriend, who wrapped his hand around his waist.

“I don't have a type.” That was definitely a lie and they both knew it.

“As if, we've been best friends since forever Joshua. You used to go for jerks, hot but really dumb and selfish, and that boy seems like the type that takes stray cats back home and calls his grandma every week.” Joshua knew he was right, but he still refused to admit it.

“He is actually a really nice kid. I've talked to him a few times. His name is Seokmin and he's still in college.It sucks that he would have to look for a new job soon.”

“”What do you mean?” Jeonghan asked before Joshua had the chance to.

“Oh, I haven't told you. “Jeonghan shook his head.”I'm friends with the owner” Seungcheol said mostly to Joshua. “He sold the place to someone who wanted to turn it into a casino”

“That is terrible.” Jeonghan said and Joshua nodded in agreement. “This was our favorite club.”

“That is what you are concerned about?” Joshua gave him a surprised look. Unbelievable.

“Well yeah, why are you getting so fired up?”

“People will lose their jobs Jeonghan.” Joshua snapped at him and regretted it a second later. “I'm sorry”

“Its okay.” Jeonghan said and stood up a little so they were on the same eye level.”If you like Seokmin you should ask him out. ”

“I don't....” He started and Jeonghan looked at him the way he always did when he thought what Joshua was saying was bullshit. “Maybe I do. Still that doesn't change the fact that I don't have time for a relationship right now. ”

“That's perfect.” Jeonghan had his devilish smile and a glint of flame in his eyes which meant he was up to something.

“Well enlighten me.”

“Ask him to be your sugar baby.”

“My what? How much drinks have you had Hannie? I'm pretty sure this things don't actually exist”

“They definitely do. You have more money that you can spend, he will need financial support soon and in exchange you would have a pretty boy on your service whenever you'd like. ”

“People are not toys to play with.” Joshua said and looked at Jeonghan like he was crazy.

“I think that's a reasonable idea” Seungcheol said, having been listening to their banter. “As long as you establish ground rules and discuss what the two of you are comfortable with so this relationship is beneficial for both sides.” Joshua blinked a few times,taking his friend’s words in, and maybe it was the loud music or the hot air was clouding his judgement, but when Seungcheol explained it, it made sense.“Ask him on a date, see if you like spending time with him and ask if he would like to have a relationship like that with you. If any of you decide it wouldn't work, you can always part ways. ”Joshua thought about it for a minute and it really was the perfect plan for his situation. He drank his cocktail in one go and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Jeonghan asked.

“To give him my number.” Joshua simply stated and walked away. He made his way around the dance floor towards the bar, the same way he did before and he sat at the same stool as before, looking around for the boy, Seokmin, but the only one behind the bar was the other one. 

“What can I get for you?” The red haired bartender said.

“I'm actually looking for the other bartender, Seokmin?” Joshua said, receiving a confused look from the boy but he went through a door, returning with Seokmin behind him.

“Hey?” Seokmin said confused.

“Hi, do you have a pen?” Joshua smiled and Seokmin handed him one. Joshua pulled one of his visit cards from his wallet and wrote his personal phone number on the back. He handed it to Seokmin along with the pen. “This is my number, text me if you would like to go out with me.”

“I would love to.” Seokmin said and Joshua felt his heart skip a beat. Would Jeonghan's crazy plan actually work out? He smiled at the boy and stood up to leave but Seokmin spoke again.’’But I don't have time right now. ’’ He said sliding him back the card. Joshua looked between him and his card a few times. He knew this wouldn't work, but it was too late to give up now. “One date and then decide? We can arrange it at a suitable time for you?” Joshua asked.

“He would love to.” The red haired bartender said before Seokmin had the chance to answer. “Its only one date” He said to Seokmin.

“Okay, one date.” Seokmin said to him and smiled, pulling his card again and putting it in his back pocket. Joshua decided he really liked his smile and was ready to give him everything just to see him smile once again. 

“Text me when you are free.” Joshua said and turned, leaving the club. Maybe he had really lost his mind, but something deep inside of him felt right.


	2. "Being beautiful doesn't pay the bills."

i.

Seokmin hated Mondays. Many people said they did but he really meant it. He had chem classes first thing in the morning, which lasted for hours , followed by botany lecture, which don't get him wrong, he liked flowers and plants but he was too exhausted after the whole chem thing.

On Mondays work was slow too. Not many people were in the mood for going out in the start of the week. Lack of people meant no tips and lately he had been relying mainly on them.

Seokmin actually really liked his job at the club. At first when his roommate, Mingyu, suggested putting up a good word for him at his work he was really doubtful he had the qualities to work as a bartender. Sure he was naturally a positive and chatty person but clubs have never been his thing. He eventually started to enjoy his work, talking to different people, listening to their problems when they had a little too much to drink.

So when his boss told him they will be closing the club earlier that night before the closing he of course felt mad. This was the best job he has had. The salary was decent and the tips were very good, he even had quit his extra job at the cafe to focus on his studies. He really needed that job.

He unlocked the door to his small apartment to find it dark and empty. It was not a surprise, Mingyu rarely spend the night here lately, more often than not going to his boyfriend's. Seokmin was happy for him, ever since he had met Wonwoo he seemed more happy than he'd ever seen him. Seokmin really liked Wonwoo too, he was just a year older than them but he seemed very mature and collected. In the few times he had met him he rarely talked and seemed to be very quiet in nature, which was the total opposite of his roommate and just what he needed.

Seokmin walked in his room and jumped on the bed. He looked at the clock. _2am_ . If he fell asleep now he would have around 6 hours of sleep. His stomach seemed to not agree with that idea.

Seokmin groaned, rolling on his back and pressing the heels if his palms to his eyes. He got up eventually, picking up a few dirty clothes from the floor, he may as well do the laundry.

He dumped his clothes in front of the washing machine and opened the fridge. He didn't know what he was looking for since he had the energy to make instant noodles at best. To his surprise he found a box with a sticky note on it . " _Dinner_ ". He opened the box to find mac and cheese, which looked like a gourmet meal at this point. Seokmin made a note to thank Mingyu as he transferred his dinner into a microwave safe bowl to heat it up.

While waiting for the food he started putting his clothes in the washing machine, adding laundry detergent and closing it. He was just to push the start button when he remembered.

_The card._

Seokmin opened the door immediately, searching for the jeans. He let out a breath when he found it, pulling the card from the pocked and closing the machine.

Seokmin put the card in front of him at the table and stared for a while. Joshua Hong, it read with clean black font over pale blue paper. Sure he has had people hitting on him at work,he knew he wasn't unattractive, but he knew he wasn't that special too. Not enough for someone like that to give him his number. This was easily the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life. He seemed successful and put together, that's why Seokmin had trouble figuring out what he wanted from him. He looked like he could have every man or woman he wished.Seokmin had promised to text him, but he hadn't promised when. He even doubt it if he should at all, he knew he didn't have time for an relationship , even more now when he should start looking for a new job as soon as he could.

Should he text him?

Ding.

Seokmin jumped a little when the microwave announced his food was ready. He looked at the card and pulled his phone. One date , he thought as he was dealing the numbers and writing a message.

Sent.

Seokmin got up to take his dinner and a glass of water when he got a notification almost immediately. He placed the food on the table and sat, looking at his phone. 02:24 am.

( **02:24) From: Joshua Hong**  
_Hello Seokmin. I'm happy you texted,but isn't it too late to be awake?_

Seokmin felt his heart pounding in his chest

**(02:26) To: Joshua Hong**  
_I just finished work. I could ask you the same thing._

**(02:27) From: Joshua Hong**  
_Fair point. When are you free?_

Of course, that was the point of texting him. To meet up. Seokmin placed his phone down to drink a little water. He felt his throat dry without a reason. He still could back off. His phone lit up after a moment announcing a new message

**(02:30) From: Joshua Hong**  
_Was that too forward? I don't want to scare you. Our date will be at a public place during the day, you can even bring a friend if you will be more comfortable that way._

That did ease Seokmin's nerves a little bit. Joshua seemed like a nice person. At least judging from his messages.

( **02:32) To: Joshua Hong**  
_It's okay, I will come alone._

**(02:33) From: Joshua Hong**  
_Wonderful. Is Thursday at lunch suitable for you?_

**(02:34) To: Joshua Hong**  
_Yes._

Seokmin replied quickly, before having time to overthink. He added an emoji too, not wanting to seem rude.

**(02:37) From : Joshua Hong**  
_It's a date! I'll text you the address tomorrow, see if you like the place? Now go to sleep, someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have to stay up that late._

Seokmin smiled and felt himself blushing, then immediately stopped himself. What was he doing, acting like that just by a compliment from a stranger. A gorgeous stranger. Still a stranger, he thought.

 **(02:41) To: Joshua Hong**  
_Okay_.

**(02:42) To: Joshua Hong**  
_Sadly being beautiful doesn't pay the bills._

Seokmin texted after a minute, adding a sad emoji. After didn't receiving an answer for a while he started overthinking. Was that rude?

**(02:56) From: Joshua Hong**  
_It does with me. Good night,angel._

Seokmin felt his heart skipping a beat once again as he reread the message a few times. He felt warmness in his chest, at the pet name,but who wouldn't. He remembered the first part of the massage eventually. What does that mean?

ii.

Thursday rolled over quicker that he expected. Between work, university and assignments Seokmin felt like the two days were a few hours. Joshua had texted him the address, some café that he had never heard of. He checked the place, it looked small and cozy, it was at the rich part of the city, but he didn't expect anything less from someone who had a business card.

Mingyu had helped him get ready. They, well mostly his roommate, had decided on a red button up shirt and his best jeans, that hugged his thighs perfectly, according to Mingyu. Seokmin had even put on a little make up, that same amount he wore to work at night.

He had felt nervous all day but now that he was in front of the café he felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He thought one last time of turning back and going home but he didn't. He found himself wanting this, even if it was only one date, he couldn't deny being intrigued by Joshua.

He took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping in and looking around. The inside of the cafe matched the outside perfectly . There was the pleasant smell of coffee in the air,the one associated with the expensive kind, not the one he got from his university cafeteria. It was quiet, most people on their laptops buried in work,some slow familiar melody playing from the speakers. The atmosphere felt calm, helped by the mild colours of the furniture and the sunlights coming from the outside.

He recognised Joshua in one of the booths at the back of the café, looking out of the big windows. He must have felt Seokmin watching him because almost immediately he averted his gaze towards him. Joshua stood up and smiled and Seokmin felt his legs moving as if on their own towards his direction.

" Hey." Joshua said, gesturing to the seat opposite of him for Seokmin to seat, so he did just that. " You look beautiful." Joshua said and took his place.  
Seokmin took him in. Joshua was even more breathtaking in the daylight. His hair was a soft peach colour, his eyes felt warm as he was looking at him and his voice was very pleasant, now that he didn't have to almost scream so they could hear each other. He was wearing a shirt, which pattern Seokmin couldn't describe to save his life. It had a few buttons undone, exposing smooth skin underneath and the material hugged his broad shoulders beautifully. Seokmin really tried not to stare but it was hard.

" I hope you hadn't had trouble finding the place." Joshua said and Seokmin felt his eyes exploring his features. He wanted to look away but there was something about the other man that made him not.

" I didn't." Seokmin said, placing his hands on the table and crossing his fingers.

"I'm glad." Joshua said. A waitress came in after that and Joshua ordered for both of them, after making sure Seokmin was okay with it.

" How do you know my name?"Seokmin asked, risking sounding rude but the thought had been eating him alive.

" I have a friend,Seungcheol. I asked him about you." Seokmin recognised the name, he was a friend of his boss,they had talked a few times but he was surprised he remembered him.

" Why did you ask about me? "

" Because I want you.' Joshua said and Seokmin was thankful the order hadn't arrived yet or he would have probably choked at the coffee.

" Excuse me?"

" I misspoke " Joshua was surprised at the reaction. He was too direct , his job needed that but Seokmin didn't knew that. " Let me explain." He said and Seokmin nodded, as their order arrived.

" I'm aware of the situation you are in so i want to offer you a mutually beneficial deal. " Joshua said, tasting the red velvet cake.

" Okay?" Seokmin nodded, encouraging him to continue.

" You see, because of my work I hardly have time for a... relationship. So my friend Jeonghan suggested that I ask you if you would be my..' Joshua didn't like the words but it were the best describing his suggestion." .. sugar baby?"

Seokmin opened his mouth to speak but words didn't came out.Was that some kind of a joke? Sugar baby? He of course knew what this words meant,but he couldn't believe what Joshua was saying. He must have misheard something, it was the lack of sleep, it had to be.Joshua couldn't be possibly suggesting that.

" You want me to be your sugar baby?"

" Yes,sugar baby means.."

'' I know what it means." Seokmin cut him off. " But why me? I mean, you are young, very attractive and if you are suggesting that I'm assuming financially stable."

" I'm not that young, I'm 32 and as I said I don't have the time for a relationship. I'm at a place in my work where I can't be emotionally available for another person at all times. I'm asking you to keep me company. You'll spend my days off work with me, have dinner with me , accompany me to events,give me the opportunity to make you happy which would be pleasant for me. In return I'm gonna give you financial support so you can focus on your studies instead of working " Seokmin stared at him in silence for a long time. This sounded too good to be true. Who wouldn't want to be taken care of and spoiled by a gorgeous man in exchange just for.. company?

" This sounds too good to be real " Seokmin said.

" Why? It's mutually beneficial relationship. I said my conditions, now it's time to tell me if you are willing to consider it." Seokmin looked down at his hands on the table, his coffee and cake still untouched. " Use your words angel."Seokmin snapped his head at that. Why did this words feel so good from Joshua's mouth.

" What do you mean by financial support?" He said and lowered his head again. He felt bad asking that question but he needed to know.

" Don't feel embarrassed, of course you have the right to know. I was thinking, how much do you make from work?" After Seokmin answered Joshua furrowed his eyebrows. " Only that? I'll double it plus I'll cover your rent and university expenses. Is that good for a start?Maybe we can raise it eventually." Joshua asked and reached his hand across the table in an invitation. Seokmin didn't think before placing his own in his.

" I don't know what to say."

" Yes would be a good start." Joshua said and Seokmin smiled.

" Can I think about it? " Seokmin asked, he needed to have a long conversation with his friends before accepting. But Joshua didn't seem like he was lying or manipulating him. Maybe he really was just lonely.

" Of course. Maybe we need to get to know each other a little before making it official? Would you go on another date with me?"

" Yes." Seokmin said and Joshua smiled, squeezing his hand. He seemed really happy and pleased by the answer.

"Joshua." Seokmin said, enjoying the way it rolled of his tongue.

"Hm?"

" What about the.." Seokmin thought about the way to form his words without offending the other in some way." What about the physical stuff?"

" Oh, of course I would love to have you in my bed angel, more than anything, but maybe we can wait a bit? And only if you want of course."

" I do." Seokmin said because he did. He was only a man after all. Joshua seemed satisfied with his answer once again. Seokmin liked the feeling of Joshua being content because of him.

Joshua had to leave because of "work emergency" short after that but not without a hug and a promise of a second date soon. Seokmin didn't know what was the thing about Joshua, but he found himself wanting to know more. Or he was just probably going insane. Maybe both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I was inspired by Joshua's look in his solo photoshoot with "1st Look" magazine. Also I aged him up a bit, hope you don't mind and made Seokmin a biochem major because I love making my characters suffer.  
> Thank you for reading, leave me a comment or kudos, it helps me getting motivated and writing quicker. <3  
> oh and ofc stream Left and Right, its so good <3


	3. “Patience is key.”

i. 

Working on assignments was proving to be extremely hard when Joshua and his proposal were all Seokmin could think of since they parted ways at the cafe last Thursday. The offer was tempting, to say the least. Having to not worry about bills and how to combine work with school was his dream since he started his degree.

One part of him wanted to accept at the second Joshua offered him the deal, to jump blindly and hope there was someone to catch him. But the other part, the reasonable one that convinced him to go to university at the first place, had doubts.

Seokmin rubbed his eyes and closed the laptop. Procrastination was always the answer. He got up and walked to the small kitchen, deciding he wanted hot chocolate. He deserved it after the stupid chemistry homework he had been working on all day.

He made his beverage and headed to the living room, where he found Mingyu and Wonwoo,cuddled up on the couch. His roommate was looking at his phone while Wonwoo was reading a book.

“Look who finally decided to go out of his room.” Mingyu said, locking his phone and tossing it on the couch beside him.

“Needed my serotonin.” Seokmin sat at the armchair on the side of the couch and raised his mug proudly.

‘’Has he texted you?” Seokmin had told the whole story to Mingyu of course. He was one of his closest friends and he actually could give great advice when he tried. Mingyu was the reason this whole thing had started after all and he demanded every detail.

“No, not today. Last time he wanted me to text him when i'm ready to meet up again.”

“So what are you waiting for?”

“I'm still thinking about the whole situation.” Seokmin said, placing his cup on the table and sinking back on the chair.

“No one will make the decision for you. ” Mingyu gave him a reassuring smile. “But from what you've told me he seems like a really nice guy. It's worth giving it a shot, is all i'm saying.”

Seokmin knew he was right. He and Joshua texted almost every day since their date over a week ago. He had been nothing but sweet and understanding, not pressuring Seokmin to give him an answer before he was ready. 

There was also the fact that Joshua was insanely attractive too. Seokmin couldn't stop thinking about his gentle voice and the little curve on the side of his lips that made him look honestly so intriguing.

Oh what the hell.

Seokmin pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Joshua. Even just one more date was worth it.

ii.

The place that Joshua had picked for their second date was probably the most expensive restaurant he had been in. Everything around him was decorated in white and gold. The waiters were dressed in suits, which probably cost more than his entire wardrobe. In front of him there were multiple different forks and silverware. The chandelier was decorated in what seemed like real gold. 

Seokmin really didn't feel like he fitted here. Joshua on the other side looked at place. Joshua was made to be surrounded in gold. He had been dressed in elegant navy suit, his hands were decorated with jewelry, the rings on his fingers made them seem long and beautiful. 

And even surrounded by all that expensive and exquisite things, he looked at Seokmin with his full attention, like he was the most precious thing in the whole restaurant. Joshua had complimented him as soon as he had arrived, which made Seokmin feel flustered but nice. It was nice that someone noticed his efforts.

" We can always go somewhere else if you feel uncomfortable." Joshua reached across the table and took his hand, caressing it with his thumb.

" No, it's not uncomfortable, not with you here." Joshua smiled and squeezed his hand.

" Do you want me to order for us again?"

"Yeah I would like that." Seokmin hadn't even looked at the menu, being busy taking everything surrounding him. He trusted Joshua and actually found himself liking when someone took control.  
Joshua talked to the waiter easily, which Seokmin thought was reasonable. He looked like the person that visited places like this regularly.

" I recognize it's maybe too sudden, but I'm dying to ask if you've considered my offer?"

"I did." Seokmin said and Joshua looked at him with anticipation. " Yes, I would like to try having a relationship with you." Seokmin had thought about it after they had texted the other night and deep down knew he would have regretted it if he didn't at least gave it a shot.

" Really? Oh I'm so happy, angel." 

“So,what do you do for a living?” Seokmin asked, hoping the other man didn't notice the glitch of surprise in his voice at the pet name.

“I work in fashion.” Joshua said, taking a sip from the champagne they had brought earlier for them. It was rich and the bubbles tasted good on his tongue.

“Makes sense.” Seokmin said and Joshua raised his eyebrows in question. “You always look put together.”

“Thank you. What about you?”

“Me?”

“What do you do, apart from working and studying?” 

“Nothing much, I've been too busy to think about hobbies and that stuff. I'm really not that interesting.” Seokmin said and Joshua released his hand and crossed his arms leaning back on the chair. 

“I doubt that.”

“I like to sing sometimes?” Joshua nodded at him to continue. “My grandma loves when I sing to her. We used to sit on the balcony, watching the stars and I would sing her the love song that played on her wedding with my grandpa. ” Seokmin rarely talked about that because he missed her every second he was away from home, but there was something about Joshua's calming presence that comforted him in a way.

“That sounds lovely, maybe you'll sing to me too sometime. ”

“Maybe.”

The rest of the evening went quicker than Seokmin wished. The food Joshua had ordered for them was delicious, the champagne was cold and crisp, even though he had only two glasses. And Joshua's company was, well, it was damn nice too. He was kind, charming and devoured every word Seokmin said with interest. There was another thing he noticed. Joshua did not like talking about himself, often changing the subject after giving him a short clear answer.

“So, that's me.” Seokmin said nodding towards his building. Joshua had insisted on taking him home because it had been already pretty late when they had left the restaurant, being caught up in chatting. “Do you want to, um, come in?”

“No.” Joshua's shook his head. “I think we should part ways here.”

“Oh, okay.” Seomin said, looking down. He really didn't know why he said that. Joshua had said he wanted to take things slow and now he had came of as impatient.

“It's not like that, baby” Joshua took a step closer and lifted his chin up so Seokmin was looking at him, cupping his cheek after. “I really loved spending time with you, it was the highlight of my week so thank you.”

“Really?” Seokmin smiled.

“Really.” Joshua stated. “You are so beautiful, especially when you smile like that, which is also a reason why I can't come in.”

“What do you mean?

Joshua looked at him for a long moment before coming even closer.

“Patience is key, angel.” Joshua whispered in his ear and Seokmin could feel the shivers travelling down his spine. Joshua smelled nice, some floral scent and his breath was warm, barely touching his skin. A notification sound pulled Seokmin back to reality and Joshua pulled out his phone and looked at it quickly, furrowing his eyebrows for a split second.  
Just like that it ended, Joshua took a few steps back and Seokmin tried to not look too disappointed and desperate of the loss of contact.

“Text me your bank account so I can properly thank you for tonight. Oh and I almost forgot, i'll be pretty busy next two weeks so we may not be able to meet but text me anytime, and after that there is an event I would like to have you as a date to.” Joshua said in almost one breath, starting to walk slowly back.

“An event?”

“I'll text you the details a few days before so you can get ready. Good night angel.” Joshua waved at him and turned, quickly walking to the car and getting in.


	4. " Oh baby, I'll design a whole line for you."

i.

If someone had told Seokmin little over a month ago that he would be wearing what looked like a suit costing more than his monthly salary and was waiting for a personal driver to pick him up and take him to a fashion show he had V.I.P pass for, he would have laughed at their face. 

But here he was.

It had been over two weeks since he had his date with Joshua, but it felt like more. He had been texting Seokmin every day, checking how he was, asking if he had eaten well, asking if he did his assignments. 

Truth to be told, he really felt better. These days he had been getting more sleep since forever, he had been eating considerably healthy, well as healthy as a college student could eat. He even had time to go to the movies with friends. Two days after their date he had received an email from his university that his tuition had been paid for the next semester already and a text from his bank about a money transfer. He really needed someone to pinch him at that moment, but everything was real. Most importantly he had someone that texted him good morning everyday and was genuinely interested in him.

Now he was sitting in the back of a luxurious black car with tinted windows, holding the hand of the most beautiful man in the world. It felt surreal.

" Breathtaking. You look stunning, angel." Joshua had turned to look at him and was exploring his features, from his face to the way the jacked of the suit hugged his broad shoulders.

" It's probably the suit, it's really nice." Seokmin shrugged off his compliment, he should start getting comfortable with them he supposed.

" Thank you, but I made it specially to bring out your most beautiful features. I was right, maroon really compliments your complexion."

" You made it for me?" Seokmin asked and Joshua vaguely nodded. He had explained over a long phone call that this event he was taking Seokmin too was in fact a fashion show showcasing his new collection, but not much more. Seokmin didn't ask questions, it wasn't that hard seeing Joshua as a designer, but him making a suit for Seokmin? He looked down at the suit and regretted not putting on the tie that came along, he had never found them comfortable anyway. Sure Joshua had texted him it was okay, but knowing that he had probably made that tie specially for him to wear and he still didn't, well, made him feel awful. 

" Thank you." Seokmin whispered in the silence between them and felt Joshua squeeze his hand a little. " Will I see it tonight, in the show?"

" I'm afraid not, I made it for you. It's one of a kind, just like my baby." Joshua kissed his hand and Seokmin hadn't felt stronger desire to kiss someone. Of course he didn't, but it was a nice though. Joshua wanted him to be patient, so patient he shall be. "You seem nervous." 

"I am." Seokmin resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair. It was a habit he did when he was nervous. " I've never been to this sort of event." 

" Haven't you watched fashion shows. It's mainly that. You sit at the audience and pretend to be interested, then clap when everyone else does, it's just a formality." Joshua tried to laugh it off as a joke but his tone felt serious.

" I am interested. If it's you who made the clothes, i already like them." 

" Let's wait and see."

" No, I have proof. See." Seokmin said and runned his free hand to smooth over his jacked. " I'm sorry for not wearing the tie."

" It's okay, I'm really not one to complain. Next time I'll get you a necklace, I like that "top buttons open up" look but I can't help feel possessive. " 

" You are one to talk." Seokmin said under his breath.

" What was that?"

" Hm, nothing." Joshua smirked but didn't say anything. Patience, Seokmin reminded himself.

" After the show, wait for me around your seat and I'll come find you as soon as possible. We'll go the the after party together, I wanna show you off."

" What if they don't like me?”Seokmin couldn't help but feel insecure. This was not his scene, he really wanted to make a good impression, for Joshua.’’ What if they think I'm dumb or immature? What if-"

" Stop." Joshua said and did the thing again. He turned Seokmin’s head to look at him and cupped his cheek, demanding attention. " I will not have you think of yourself like that. From what I've seen this past month you are the most kind, smart, warm and selfless person . Ever since the first time I saw you I felt drawn to you. You are amazing Seokmin, and I will not have you think poorly of yourself. Understood?" 

Seokmin only nodded and hugged him, wrapping his hands around Joshua's neck. It was the first time he had initiated a hug so he exhaled when he felt Joshua wrap his hands around him too. It was not the best hug, taking in the fact they were at the backseat of a car, but it felt good. Everything with Joshua did. 

They pulled off a moment later but Seokmin kept his hands on Joshua's shoulders, who in return looked at him carefully. There was something about Joshua looking at him that made him feel like the most important thing in the world.

" What are you thinking about." 

" You know angel, ever since I remember I've been surrounded by models, but no one is as beautiful as you."

" Beautiful enough to make me another suit?"

" Oh baby, I'll design a whole line for you." Joshua said and he was so close, so close that Seokmin felt he could count his eyelashes under the dim light. He just looked down at Joshua's lips, and maybe he seemed desperate but who cared? Not him when he could lean a few centimetres closer and he would be finally getting what he wanted.

" Shall we? " Joshua whispered and Seokmin swore he could feel his breath on his lips. He pulled of a little and only then Seokmin could feel the car had stopped moving and they had arrived. He blinked a few times, trying to come back to reality. There were people outside of the car. Many people. Who were holding cameras.

Well fuck.

ii.

The show went quickly overall. Joshua helped him find his place and went backstage immediately after that. It was a great place, at the center in the front roll. Around him were people that looked either really rich or were dating someone rich. Seokmin really didn't feel like he belonged to the whole scenery around him. Shortly after that the show had started and it wasn't like the ones on the TV. Sure, the concept was similar but it was different. You know the feeling when you go to a concert of your favourite group for the first time. You know all the songs, but all of them feel different and you feel like you are hearing them for the first time. You know all the members, but seeing them in front of you, bring real, somehow feels different. 

It was something like that. 

Seokmin assumed Joshua was good. He was wearing a proof of it even before seeing any of his other works. Joshua as a whole gave off the energy of someone good at what he did. It was in the way he carried himself. He knew Joshua was good. 

But still Seokmin was surprised at how brilliant he was. The models started appearing one by one and every one was different, not better because every piece was beautiful, but good in their own way. Every little detail looked spot on to perfection. Every colour looked matched. Somehow every model looked distinct while still carrying something in common, something that would tell you they were all by the same person. By Joshua.

Joshua was an artist.

He didn't express his feelings with paint on a white sheet of paper. Joshua did it with his clothes and Seokmin,as well as every person in the room, could clearly see that. When he appeared on the stage next to his models, he was in his place. There was happiness in his smile and passion in his eyes, one that he had transformed into an expression in the real world with his clothes, as deeply communicative as any other form of art.

Seokmin knew Joshua had told him to wait in his seat until he went to pick him up, but he simply couldn't wait to see Joshua. So he said a quick goodbye to the blonde girl he had sat to and exchanged a few words with and made his way backstage. Which was the easiest part, having a vip pass hanging around his neck worked for passing the guards. The hard part was finding Joshua. Seokmin wandered around for a bit, hoping he didn't accidentally walk in on someone changing or something like that. He gave up eventually, deciding to wait for Joshua in what seemed like a main room with a red velvet couch in the middle and a few make up stations in front of it.

" You seem lost." One of the people in the room said, looking at him in the reflection of the mirror. Seokmin recognised him as one of the models, even though he had changed in more casual outfit.

" Yeah, I kinda am."

" Who are you looking for, maybe I can help?" The model stood up, checking his hair once more in the mirror and walked to Seokmin.

" I'm looking for Joshua?"

" Joshua?" He said and raised his eyebrows in surprise." Very well, come with me." 

Seokmin followed him into a room, then into another. The backstage was bigger than he had thought. A few people he passed smiled at him so he did the same. Then he spotted Joshua at the other end of the room, talking to someone and his heart skipped a beat. He followed the model in Joshua's direction , his head slightly bowed. What if Joshua got mad that he hadn't waited for him in his seat.

" Hey Joshua, I found this lost puppy looking for you." Joshua turned his head, slightly confused but when he noticed Seokmin his eyes became warm and he smiled. Seokmin quietly exhaled and smiled back.

" Hey." Joshua said and held out his hand, which Seokmin gladly took.

" Won't you introduce us?" The model that had helped him said and Joshua looked at him annoyed.

" If I must. Seokmin , this is Junhui, he is one of my models and an old friend." Jun smiled and hugged Seokmin, forcing him to let go of Joshua's hand to return the hug. 

" And this is his lovely boyfriend, Minghao. I still can't figure out how that happened. " Minghao vaguely smiled and they shook hands. 

" I'll pretend i didn't hear that. Come on Hao let's give the love birds some privacy." Jun said, taking his hand and leading him away. Suddenly they were alone in the room, the few people from before had apparently left.

" My impatient baby." Joshua said and faced him, placing his hands on his hips and gently pulling Seokmin closer.

" Are you mad? " 

" Of course not, I missed you." Joshua said and kissed his nose. Seokmin giggled and placed his hands on Joshua's shoulders.

" I missed you too."

" I'm sorry that i left you, angel, but did you enjoy the show?" 

" Yes, very much. Everything was perfect. " Seokmin moved his hand on the exposed skin on Joshua’s neck and started tracing little circles. Oh how much he would like to do that with his mouth.

Joshua hummed and closed his eyes because of the touch. " Hardly." He whispered after a moment. 

" It was. " Seokmin pouted and cupped Joshua's face so he was looking at his eyes. " You are an artist Joshua." 

" Baby." Joshua whispered and pulled him in a tight hug. It made Seokmin upset watching Joshua doubt himself. He was already perfect in his eyes so he wanted Joshua to look at himself in that way too.  
They parted after a while, but Joshua still held him in his arms, their foreheads touching. Seokmin was maybe a centimetre taller than Joshua but still he felt comfortable and safe in his embrace. 

"How adorable." Someone said after clearing their voice. " It's like I'm watching a drama." He was leaning on the door frame and Seokmin recognised him as one of the models too,but his face seemed more familiar than Jun’s.

" Jeonghan, I thought you and Seungcheol have already went to the dinner hall " Joshua said, turning to face him but still keeping one of his hands on Seokmin's waist. Hearing their names it clicked. He recognised him from the club.

"We always wait for you. Plus we wanted to meet Seokmin already, I personally have been dying to see the boy that slided into my best friends’ cold ass heart."

" I'm Seokmin. You were amazing out there." Seokmin reached his hand for a handshake but Jeonghan pulled him into a hug. He froze for a moment and Jeonghan pulled away quickly before Seokmin had the chance to return the hug. Instead he tried to pull off his best smile when Jeonghan took a few steps back and was exploring his face.

" I like this one." Jeonghan said and Seokmin's smile grew even more because of the compliment from Joshua's best friend. " Oh , he's like a little ball of sunshine." Jeonghan placed his hand on his heart and nodded approvingly.

" He is." Joshua said and squeezed his waist. " Let's not keep the guests waiting." 

iii.

The dinner went fairly well. At the start they sat at their table along with Joshua's friends, but then more and more people arrived to have a word with Joshua so he excused himself and went around the room. He had threw Seokmin a few concerned glances but Seokmin had smiled every time, assuring him everything was alright. Seokmin found himself really enjoying his friends company. He always had liked Jeonghan and Seungcheol as a couple visually, given the fact they were both insanely attractive, but was surprised how different their personalities were. Yet still they seemed to complete each other. 

After a while, more and more people started dancing and having fun under the influence of the alcohol. Around 11 pm Joshua gave a little speech to express gratitude to the people supporting him and after that the guests started leaving one by one.

Little over a hour later, after many of the people had already left and Jeonghan and Seungcheol had disappeared somewhere doing something Joshua didn't want to think about, he had suggested him and Seokmin went home too.

" Will you stay with me tonight?" Joshua had asked at the back seat, his head on Seokmin's shoulder and their fingers intertwined. Seokmin had said yes. Of course he did. If you asked him, he would blame it on the alcohol, even though he had had a glass and a half of champagne the whole night. 

Joshua thanked the driver when the car had stopped in front of a big building, getting out lazily and holding the door for Seokmin. Joshua crossed their fingers again and lead him into the building, greeting the guard at the door and the girl behind the front desk, into the elevator to his apartment on the 17th floor.

Joshua's apartment was somehow everything Seokmin had expected and at the same time it was not. It was big,the living room probably being bigger than his own that he shared with Mingyu. The interior was modern and elegant, yet it didn't feel like Joshua . 

Seokmin immediately felt drawn to the big windows. From up here the city seemed distant and all the people looked small. He had seen it very few times like that, but Joshua could look at it every day if he wished. He looked up at the stars, resisting the urge to trace the one or two cancellations he knew. . Seokmin felt Joshua wrap his hands around him from behind and leaned into him.

" What are you thinking about baby?" Joshua placed his chin on his shoulder.

" The stars."

"What about them?"

" People say that wherever you are in the world and look in the sky, the stars are always the same. I like that. it feels consistent and safe."

" I've been to so many countries but have never thought of that." Seokmin turned in Joshua's hands. "My smart baby." He said kissing Seokmin's forehead.

" Yours. " Seokmin whispered in the air between them.He loved the way the world felt on his tongue, the feeling of being someone else's. He loved the way Joshua made him feel ever since their first encounter. Joshua made him feel safe, warm and important. Even better, Joshua made him feel like he was his treasure. Seokmin was his.

" Baby,can I.." Seokmin didn't let him finish, instead closing the distance and kissing Joshua, hoping that was what he had meant to say. Joshua returned the kiss immediately, pulling Seokmin even closer to his body and kissing him gently.

And fuck it was good.

Seokmin felt that if Joshua didn't held him that tight in his arms he would collapse. He moved one of his hands on Joshua's neck and stroked his jaw line with his thumb. Seokmin felt his tongue dragging over his bottom lip and parted them, nearly pulling out when Joshua licked into his mouth. 

Then suddenly Joshua pulled away, leaving Seokmin panting, his mind out of focus and his lips swollen. Seokmin tried to chase his lips but Joshua pulled away, giving him this hot smirk of his. Seokmin wasn't sure if he wanted to punch him or kiss him. Probably the second. Definitely the second.

" I think it's enough." Joshua said. " You are dangerous baby."

" But why?" Seokmin could hear himself nearly whining , looking at Joshua's lips. " I want you."

" You'll have everything you want angel, just not yet okay. You deserve the best." And fuck Joshua shouldn't say stuff like that and expect him to calm down and not beg for more. Seokmin settles, what other choice he had, still feeling warm low in his belly. 

" Okay." Seokmin says in his most innocent voice and smiles.

" Now let's go to bed, I'm so tired." Joshua pecks his lips and leads him in the direction of what Seokmin supposed was his bedroom. He decided if that was all Joshua was willing to give him, he should be happy, because Joshua deserved it. He deserved everything too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment if you think Joshua should get Seokmin a choker and if you liked the chapter :D <3


	5. " I told you good boys get presents."

Seokmin woke up to the smell of coffee, coming through the slightly open bedroom door. He opened his eyes slowly, adjusting to the light peeking through the blinds, even though they were fully closed. Seokmin burrowed himself in the soft warm sheets, inhaling the smell of , well , coziness, along with the vague residue of a floral perfume. This definitely wasn't the smell of his own sheets, even less of his room. He blinked a few times and rubbed the reminder of sleep of his eyes and looked around. 

This was definitely not his room.

_Oh._

_Joshua._

He turned in bed but sadly Joshua wasn't there. It was reasonable he thought. Last night Joshua had suggested for him to use the guest bedroom. It was really sweet, the way he insisted that Seokmin would feel more comfortable that way. And Seokmin really appreciated that, don't get him wrong,but.. 

He was having nothing of that. After the two weeks separated he found himself really missing Joshua. It was surprising. Even more after the kiss, he wanted to be close to Joshua. As close as the other was comfortable with . So Seokmin insisted it was okay , that he wanted this , even pouted as a desperate measure and in the end Joshua gave in.

Joshua looked like he really enjoyed having Seokmin be with him too. He had Seokmin sit on the toilet and removed the little make up he had, they brushed their teeth together, Joshua had a few spare toothbrushes for friends. He even picked out clothes for him to sleep in while Seokmin showered.

Seokmin observed Joshua's room while it was his turn in the shower. He slept on the left side, he noticed, judging by the position of his charger. His bedroom was not that different from the rest of the apartment. Big, elegant and still somehow empty, the only pop of colour was the weird looking painting above bed. Seokmin didn't even tried to understand that one, instead he snuggled under the sheets to wait for Joshua.He looked really happy too. Maybe it was because of the show or spending time with his friends. Or maybe was the fact that he had Seokmin here by his side.

He didn't know, nor it mattered. All Seokmin cared for was that Joshua was happy and hoped he had at least a little part making him smile as he wished him goodnight. Seokmin had cuddled closer, enjoying the warmness of his body and the light scent of vanilla from his body wash. In return Joshua has kissed his forehead and held him close until they both fell asleep.

It had been nice but of course reality had to kick in. Still Seokmin wished he had the chance to wake up next to Joshua and hold him for a moment more.

Joshua probably had work, even if it was the weekend, Seokmin couldn't blame him, it wasn't that hard to imagine. He didn't know what Joshua's job required.

Seokmin got up and thought if he should change from the clothes Joshua had lended him to sleep in, but remembered he didn't have any other here apart from the suit he had worn the previous night so he erased that thought.

He brushed his teeth and followed the direction of the smell of coffee. It was really easier than he thought, finding the kitchen. Joshua was there too, sitting on a chair next to the kitchen island,drinking coffee,wearing glasses, reading some kind of a magazine and overall looking like a literal vision. The amber colored sunlight really did wonders to his skin, forming a halo around his frame.

" Good morning." Seokmin said and walked to him. Joshua immediately smiled when he saw him and put down the magazine he was reading, opening his arms invitingly. Seokmin lifted his chin up to have a better look at him" I like it, they suit you." 

" Good morning, baby. And thank you." Joshua stood up and brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead then cupped his cheek. " How are you, did you sleep well?"

"I'm good and yes, your bed is really comfortable." 

" I'm glad." Joshua hummed and kissed him lightly, but that still woke up the butterflies in Seokmin's stomach.

" I'm even better now." Seokmin said and Joshua kissed him again for a second, earning one of his blinding smiles after that.

" So cute, I want to kiss you forever." 

" I wouldn't say no to that." Joshua laughed, shaking his head and released him.

" What do you want for breakfast, I'm not the greatest cook so we can always order something." Joshua said, opening the fridge and looking through it.

" Everything is fine really." 

" Are you sure, we can go out too? I know a place.."

" It's fine, I promise, plus i enjoy being alone with you. I really like spending time together." 

" Okay then, everything my baby wants.* Joshua said, pulling a few items from the fridge and Seokmin hoped he was too busy to notice his blushing cheeks.

Seokmin made himself a coffee and sat at the stool next to Joshua's. He tried looking around, looking through the window, even tried checking out Joshua's magazine, but in the end he gave up and focused on Joshua. He was captivating, his whole being was. From the way he moved, the way he talked and looked at him, to the way he did everything graciously. Every time Joshua touched him, he did delicately, every word he spoke to him was thought of and measured. And even though he had know Joshua for very little period of time, he trusted him and sometimes wondered what he had done in previous life so he had the pleasure to meet him in this one.

" I hope you are okay with eggs and bacon." Joshua said, placing a plate in front of him and pulling him out of his thoughts. " Is everything alright with university?"

" Of course, they even sent me an email about the paid semester. The bank did too. I... thank you but the tuition was more than enough." That was the other thing. Even though Joshua had reassured him, not once, Seokmin had the constant feeling of not being enough.

" We had an agreement, angel. Are you having second thoughts?" Joshua asked, a little worried.

" No,no." Seokmin said immediately." You have been so great to me, not only about the financial support, but as a... partner." Seokmin hesitated a little."But i feel like I'm not doing enough."

" Is that what it's all about? Joshua asked , his voice not sounding worried anymore, but rather serious. Seokmin nodded. " Come here." Joshua demanded reaching his hand and Seokmin obeyed. Joshua placed one of his hands firmly on his waist, allowing the other one to brush through his hair, stopping at his neck.Seokmin closed his eyes, enjoying the touch and felt Joshua turning them , trapping Seokmin between the plot and his body.

" Up.." Joshua whispered and Seokmin opened his eyes , blinking a few times. Joshua looked at him demandingly and placed both his hands on Seokmin's waist, lifting him with the help of Seokmin who slightly jumped. Joshua smiled , seemingly pleased and adjusted himself between Seokmin legs. The plot was not that high so Seokmin talled over him only a few centimetres.

" Good boy." Joshua said and kissed him, while Seokmin wrapped his hands around his neck. " You are enough, baby. Just seeing you makes me happy. As I've told you before, I'm more than happy to take care of you. I will continue to do so, as long as we both want it, and in return you only need to do exactly what you've done till now.Be patient with me and available whenever I need you to accompany me somewhere or simply your company. Understood?" Joshua asked and Seokmin nodded. " Good, I hope you are not insecure about that in the future, I want this relationship to be based on honesty and communication." 

" Okay." Seokmin said in the sweetest voice Joshua had heard so he kissed him again. He tightened his grip on Seokmin's waist, this time the gentleness was absent, replaced by pure determination.Joshua claimed him and Seokmin was more than happy to respond, opening his lips to give him access and quietly moaning when Joshua bit his lower lip lightly. Seokmin wrapped his legs around him and tugged him closer, hoping for some kind of relief. It was embarrassing how much he wanted this. Joshua moved his hands on his thighs to keep him in place and left small kisses from his cheek to his neck to the place behind his ear. Seokmin felt like he would combust any second, turning his head a little to give him better access.

_" Baby."_ Joshua whispered in his ear and that really didn't help the previous situation. Joshua pulled away to look at him, his eyes dark. " It's enough."

" I...but why?" Seokmin breathed out, looking down at Joshua and releasing his grip a little.

" I asked for you to be patient, correct?" Joshua said, running his thumb through Seokmin's lips. He nodded. " If you are good, angel, you'll get a reward." 

" What if I'm not?" Seokmin asked, leaning closer to Joshua's ear. There was really something exciting about the game they had started and he wanted to finish it as a winner.

" Then I'll have to punish you." Joshua smirked, gripping his hair lightly so Seokmin would look at him, not enough to hurt but enough to prove a point. " I don't wanna do that, so you'll promise to be good and patient , right baby?" Seokmin nodded. " Words." Joshua demanded.

" Promise." Seokmin said and Joshua smiled, kissing his cheek.

" Amazing. Now have some breakfast and we'll go shopping, I wanna spoil my good boy a little bit."

ii.

The drive could have been ten hours or ten minutes. Seokmin couldn't be sure. Not when he had the most astonishing view.

Joshua was something to be marvelled at. The midday sun coming from the open window was casting a beautiful glow to his skin, the sharp outline of his small nose and perfect lips made his side profile look like a painting, Seokmin thought belonged in the Louvre.

He was holding the steering wheel with one hand, his sleeves rolled up , revealing his forearms. The fabric of his button up hugged his muscles perfectly which was a total turn on apparently because Seokmin had trouble deciding if he wanted to worship him because of his beauty or wreck him. Probably both.

" A penny for your thoughts?' Joshua said and moved his hand to rest on his thigh.

" You look pretty." Is what Seokmin ended up saying. He would die before telling Joshua what he had been thinking. Still true thought.

Joshua blinks a few times by the sudden confession, not taking his eyes from the road and his lips curve upwards, barely hinting of a smile.

" Thank you, angel." Joshua said, talking his hand and kissing the back of it, which made Seokmin want to sink in his seat. Joshua turned towards him at a red light and moved closer, touching his chin with his index finger so Seokmin would look at him.

" I feel like I should be the one giving you the compliments." Joshua said, looking at his lips and proceeding to trace his bottom one with his thumb. 

" You do, so I wanted to say it." Seokmin said and Joshua chuckled.

" And you baby are exquisite." Joshua said and kissed his lips quickly, turning and starting the car. Seokmin didn't say anything to that, no words seemed fitting. No one has even called him that. He looked down on Joshua's hand and took it, placing it on his thigh again and put his own on top.

They didn't talk for the rest of the ride but the silence was not uncomfortable, it never was with Joshua.

iii.

" What are we doing ?" Seokmin asked when Joshua locked the car and intertwined their fingers. 

"Shopping" Joshua simply said and lead Seokmin, who soon found himself in the middle of a big store, with big windows encircling almost the whole thing. All around him were displayed the most beautiful pieces of jewelry he had ever seen. He thanked God he had borrowed clothes from Joshua this morning because otherwise he would have felt embarrassed in his, mostly, ripped jeans and band t-shirts. He vaguely noticed Joshua exchanging a few words with the black haired woman from the staff but didn't pay them much attention, being busy taking in his surroundings. He felt Joshua tug at their still intertwined fingers and led him in front of a glass cabinet holding large display of necklaces. Seokmin thought they were very beautiful, from the thick silver chains to the more elegant traditional ones, with delicate diamond pendants.

" Something catching your eye?" Joshua asked after a second. Seokmin looked at his reflection in the glass, then back at the jewelry.

" Me?"

" Of course you baby. " Joshua said and moved to the other display, with much more delicate and modern pieces. " I told you I wanted to get you a necklace." Yes Seokmin remembered that, but still was surprised Joshua did. He stared at the jewelry, then back to Joshua's reflection, unable to form an answer immediately.

" You don't...are you sure?" 

" You better not ask me what I think you are going to." Joshua said and looked at him. His gaze looked neutral , but in the way that was still demanding, like he knew he was right.

" There are just too many, I like all of them." He said instead.

" You want all of them?" Joshua asked, raising his eyebrows. 

" No, no, I didn't mean that." Somehow it wasn't hard to believe Joshua would buy all of them for him. " Can you choose?"

" You sure?" 

" Of course, I trust you." Seokmin said and Joshua gave him a little smile before turning to observe the jewelry more. Seokmin watched him, looking through the pieces, sometimes stopping on one of them and looking at Seokmin for a second, other times he didn't, but most times he furrowed his eyebrows and continued to another one. _Did he imagine him wearing it?_

" This one." Joshua said, more to the woman, whose presence Seokmin hadn't noticed until she was unlocking the glass door and taking out a stand with a beautiful choker necklace. It was decorated with three rolls of crystals and in the centre there was hanging a little heart shaped pendant.

" Can I?" Joshua asked and took the necklace from the stand, unlatching it with ease. Seokmin felt goosebumps from the sensation of coldness from the crystals touching the skin on his neck. He looked himself in the mirror and touched the piece gently, marveling the contrast of it on his skin. 

" Beautiful" Joshua said, tugging at his waist so Seokmin would turn to face him. " Do you like it, angel?"

" I do. I love it. " Seokmin's breath shaked as he leaned in, pressing his mouth firmly against Joshua’s. He didn't know if anyone was watching, frankly he didn't care,only feeling the warm presence of Joshua all around him. He pulled away after only a moment, not wanting to push too far, but Joshua chased his lips, resulting in a sound between a quiet sign and a moan, which Joshua devoured eagerly. One of his hands was resting on his waist, the other traveling to Seokmin's neck to stroke under the necklace with his thumb. Seokmin's breath hitched at the unexpected contact and released Joshua's lips, who looked at him with hooded eyes and smirked.

" I told you good boys get presents."


	6. "I miss you."

i.

Joshua hadn't been kidding when he had said he didn't have much time for a relationship.

Over the next two weeks after Joshua got him the necķlace, they had seen each other only two times. One of the times had been over lunch. Joshua had picked him up after his last lecture and had taken him to a nice place close to the university. It was a nice spot, Seokmin preferred it over the fancy restaurants. The other time they had met for a quick coffee date on the weekend, but Joshua seemed off the whole time. He had insisted it was a work thing, not worthy of troubling Seokmin when he had asked, but still seeing Joshua upset made him sad. It was then when Joshua had told him he had to fly to Los Angeles for a few days for a " _family matter_ ". 

Seokmin really wanted to help somehow, but all he could offer was his patience and assurance that if Joshua needed someone, he would of course be there.

And Joshua appreciated that, very much so.

Apart from that, Seokmin couldn't really complain. Joshua had been amazing to him, that was a given. He always woke up to a good morning text, wishing him a nice day. He listened to Seokmin complaining about university and even had send him a bouquet of white roses when Seokmin had told him he had done well on his paper. 

That's why when Joshua had texted him that he was coming back next Sunday, Seokmin had offered to spend the night over again. Usually Joshua would have protested, they both had work or school the next day, but he also missed Seokmin which was apparently stronger than his rational thinking, accepting and offering to drop him off on the way to work in the morning

ii.

When Sunday came eventually, which seemed like it took forever, Seokmin happily packed his backpack and waited for Joshua to pick him up on the way home from the airport. He looked at the clock impatiently, deciding that the sound it made definitely annoyed him, when his phone ringing startled him. He jumped at the sound, glad he was home alone so no one was around to see it. 

" Hey baby." Joshua said and Seokmin smiled at the sound of his voice. They haven't talked for a few days, only texting each other briefly. " I'm sorry, but I have a minor inconvenience at the airport." .

" Oh." Seokmin hoped he didn't sound too disappointed, but he doubted it. "It's okay, I'll wait." 

" I'm afraid I don't know how much time I'll be here, it may get too late and you have classes early tomorrow."Seokmin could hear a distant chatter from the speaker.

" I don't mind."

" I think it's better if we postpone?" 

" I miss you." Seokmin said quietly, not sure if Joshua had heard him because of the noise around him and not receiving an answer for a moment too long.

' _Fuck_." He heard Joshua mumble from the other end of the line. " Okay, I'll send a car to pick you up, you go first and wait for me over at my place?" 

" Deal." Seokmin lit up at his words. 

" But if it gets too late, you'll go to bed without me. Promise?" 

" Promise." 

ii.

Joshua's apartment still felt unfamiliar and the fact that it was empty didn't help at all. The girl at the reception had been nice, telling him to call if he needed something when she let him in with the spare emergency keys. 

Seokmin decides to just get ready for bed and watch some TV while he waits, it's not like he had anything better to do. He walked in the bedroom, doubting if he should put his stuff and get ready in the guest one, but Joshua had agreed to spend the night together, which at least meant sharing a bed. He changed into a dark grey sweatpants and old faded t-shirt, folding his clothes carefully and placing them on the armchair next to the window.Seokmin walked to the kitchen, deciding to grab an iced tea and checked his phone, but he had no notifications. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, but gave up quickly.

Seokmin got up and stood in front of the big windows. He had never been scared of heights, even when he was little. He still vaguely remembered the summers when he was a kid, when the air was hot and sun shined unforgivingly. He remembered climbing on the tree, in the backyard at his grandparents house with a popsicle his grandma had given him for helping with the chores. He remembered the wheel swing his grandfather had built for him on the same tree after Seokmin had saw one in his cartoon. He remembered laughing and screaming to his grandparents to push him higher, wanting to touch the fluffy clouds that always looked like cotton candy.

However he always had been the city type. He loved the way the big windows of the skyscrapers reflected the last orange sun rays before sunset . He loved the different types of people he saw on the streets, from the ones that got early for a run or to walk their dog, to the ones that came out after sundown whose day only begins. He loved the sounds of violin or a guitar from the street musicians early in the morning when he was waiting on his bus stop to the university. 

Seokmin loved the city and the city loved him right back. The city was his home and it had witnessed so much of his life. From his smiles when he saw a particularly fluffy puppy on the street to his groans when he missed the bus, to his satisfied sigh in the winter time after the first sip of tea. The city had witnessed his first kiss with Joshua too. 

Seokmin heard the little rattling of keys on the front door and checked the clock. It surely hadn't been that long. He placed his iced tea on the table and tried not to run to the door, instead walking fast because he was an adult. He waited patiently next to the door, greeting Joshua when he had walked in with his suitcase. Seokmin really tried to be cool about it, emphasis on tried. It was not his fault that Joshua had smiled at him in that way, his eyes looking tired and yet relieved when he had seen Seokmin and had opened his arms temptingly. Seokmin rushed to hug him, nearly making them lose balance so Joshua had to take a step back, wrapping his hands around him.

" I missed you too." Joshua whispered, his breath tickling Seokmin's neck. He pulled away, cradling Joshua's face in his hands and kissed him. It was the briefest of touches and he felt Joshua smile against his lips, pressing their foreheads together.

" How was your flight?"

" Boring, slept through most of it." Joshua said and threaded their fingers. " C'mon let's go to bed, I wanna get rid of this clothes already." Seokmin definitely didn't think about his words in a different situation on the way to the bedroom. 

He patiently waited while Joshua showered, setting up an alarm for tomorrow morning just in case.

" I'm ready, you can come in." Seokmin heard Joshua say, muffled by the closed door. 

" I just wanted to brush.." Seokmin opened the door and felt like he would have a heart attack. Joshua was leaning on the counter, wearing just light gold silky pajama bottoms, that rested low on his hips. He swallowed, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden and his eyes taking every part of Joshua's body. His skin was all smooth, almost glowing from the shower. Single droplets of water, fallen from his hair that was pushed back with a headband, were running down his chest. 

" Sure, come here." Joshua said, turning and giving him his toothbrush, because he had his own here now.

They brushed their teeth together, Seokmin trying not to stare at his back muscles every time Joshua lowered himself to rinse and spit. After Joshua told him to sit on the counter, while he pulled some make up remover and cotton pads, along with other different bottles from the cabinet over the sink. He watched Joshua carefully while he was removing the makeup that the shower had failed to. 

Seokmin always thought Joshua looked beautiful, even now when his gaze wasn't that sharp due to lack of eyeliner, his skin in it's natural glow with a few freckles around his nose, even with some red spots on his cheeks.

" Your turn." Joshua said and dampened a cotton pad with his makeup remover.

" I don't have makeup on."

" A good makeup remover is not only used for removing makeup." Joshua said and moved to stand between his legs." It helps with removing dirt and oil from the skin too. Now close your eyes for me angel." Seokmin did and focused his attention on Joshua's touch, gently wiping his face with one hand while the other was resting on his neck, slowly stroking underneath his jaw line. After that he heard Joshua uncapping a bottle and Seokmin twitched at the cold feeling of the cream on his skin. He felt Joshua massaging his skin just as carefully as before and smelled the light unostentatious scent of the cream.

" All done." Joshua said, tossing the used pads in the trash.

" Your turn?" Seokmin repeated his words, taking the bottle and lifted his eyebrows.

" Sure." Joshua smiled and gave him instructions on which bottle and cream came first. Seokmin carefully applied the products, paying attention to not mess up the order, while Joshua's hands were resting on his thighs and he hummed contently every time Seokmin asked him if something was okay.They went to bed together afterwards. 

Being in bed with Joshua felt like heaven. The bed was comfortable underneath him and Seokmin felt like he could fall asleep immediately. Joshua had encouraged him to come closer so now Seokmin was laying with his head on Joshua's chest, gently running his fingers over his warm skin while Joshua holds him tight and close.

He focused his attention on Joshua's breathing and felt himself dozing off almost instantly.

" Good night." He mumbled and looked up.Joshua kissed his forehead.

" Good night baby." Seokmin heard Joshua whisper and thought he definitely can get used to this before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not very plot heavy but I had this idea while writing the next one last night so yeah.


	7. Only think of you

" When will you learn that not answering your phone wouldn't stop me?" Jeonghan said, closing the door with his foot. " Plus remind me again why am I bringing you coffee when you don't even answer my texts?" 

" You did." Joshua said, looking up from his sketchbook and smiling when the smell of fresh coffee stroked his nose. " You are the greatest." 

" Yeah, I am." Jeonghan sat on the chair in front of the desk and crossed his legs.

"That's why you will not refuse me when I invite you to my party tomorrow."

" Party?" Joshua said unamused, shifting through another few samples of the red chiffon fabric he had requested. 

" Cheol is having a party on occasion for the anniversary of his first club. I told you about it but- . Are you listening? " Jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows and got up, peeking behind Joshua's shoulder. 

" That's good." Joshua hummed and picked up another sample to inspect it.

" Joshua." Jeonghan raised his voice and startled him. "Why aren't you paying attention to me."

" I'm sorry, it's just.. no one feels right." Joshua collected the samples, putting them in the box and taking a long sip of coffee. "Yesterday morning I got a call from Park Sooyoung's manager. Apparently she liked my last collection and wanted me to design the dress she would wear at the premiere of her new movie."

" Park Sooyoung , as in the actress?" Jeonghan grabbed his hands and lead him to the couch to sit. "The Park Sooyoung ?"

" Yes, her." 

" How are you so calm, she's one of the biggest raising stars at the moment." Jeonghan shook his hand so Joshua put down his coffee. He didn't need a coffee stain on his favourite couch to stress about too. 

" I know that and that's the reason why I am not, in fact, calm. "

" Any ideas yet?" 

" I'm not sure.”Joshua hesitated for a moment. “Red would look beautiful with her complection, the chiffon samples I was surveying were for her but the shades were off. " Joshua said, breathing out heavily and leaning back on the couch.

" Don't be like that." Jeonghan said and put his hand on his shoulder reassuringly. " I'm certain you'll kill it. " Joshua hummed and his lips curved upwards, mumbling a silent "thank you". "Do you know what you need? To chill, have fun a little, that's why you are coming tomorrow and I refuse to accept no for an answer. " 

" Maybe you're right." Joshua lifted himself a little, smoothing out his blazer.

" Really?" Jeonghan clapped his hands and smirked. "It was easier than I thought. What's got into you? Or should I say who?" 

" I changed my mind." 

" Nope, too late now." Jeonghan said and got up, walking to the door and opening it up quickly. " Bring him too.."Jeonghan said and closed the door.

Perhaps a party didn't sound like such a bad idea. Joshua took his coffee and walked to the desk, picking up his phone to text Seokmin. He then opened the second box of samples, shifting through them. Joshua though Seokmin had looked marvelous in that maroon suit he had made for him. Joshua was sure he would look good in all shades of red. He could almost picture it. Seokmin in a fluffy raspberry red cashmere sweater, his cheeks and nose almost the same shade as they are walking in the park just when the first snow had fallen. Seokmin in a burgundy suit, with gold details on the collar and handkerchief, the next time Joshua needed a date for an event. Seokmin laid beneath him on scarlet red satin sheets, the glossy fabric sticking to his skin from sweat, his eyes covered with a lace mask while Joshua explored his body and marked his skin.

 _That's it._

Joshua stood up and grabbed the first box, searching for the cranberry colored sample he spotted briefly. It was the same shade Seokmin had been wearing on their first date.

_It was perfect._

ii.

" She's so good." Joshua said, leaning towards Seungcheol so he could clearly hear him over the music. The party wasn't what Joshua had been expecting. Last time he accepted Jeonghan's invitation, he had brought him to a nightclub, full of people, with music so loud he barely could hear his thoughts. Now there weren't many guests, only their closest friends and some business partners as Seungcheol had said. The atmosphere still felt like in a club but minus the smell of spilled vodka on the dance floor and the air being so hot you can feel your lungs ache. On the stage, the girl that was singing was dressed in a rose gold sequin gown, her long blonde hair was draped elegantly over her back as she slowly swayed on the melody of the music. Her voice was gentle, but stable, expressing the emotion of the song flawlessly.

" Chaeyoung is one of the best, I was so sad when she left us. " Seungcheol hummed as she finished the song and bowed to the audience. " Still, I'm happy for her, her dream was to make music. She's still a very dear friend." Joshua watched her as she was walking down the stage across the dance floor. She waved at Seungcheol and smiled, then joined Jeonghan and Seokmin at the bar. Jeonghan had stolen him over half an hour ago " to get drinks". The girl, Chaeyoung, laughed at something Jeonghan had said and hugged him, then Seokmin before leaving. 

" Look at you making friends." Joshua said when Seokmin came, a glass of wine in his hand, sitting close to Joshua. 

" You mean Chaeyoung? She's really nice, we met at your fashion show, she was sitting next to me and she remembered me." Seokmin smiled, looking at the direction of the girl, now joined by three other girls.

" Jeonghan must have invited her, that's great baby." Joshua reached and fixed his bangs, his eyes catching the necklace, illuminating the sparks from the club projectors. Seokmin still looked like a vision in it. " Speaking of, where is he."

As if on cue Jeonghan came, hanging up the phone with a sigh and sat next to his boyfriend, covering his face with his hands. " She said she's on her way, but still needs to change when she gets here." 

"Who?" 

" The singer that was supposed to perform tonight, she had an emergency, that's why I asked Chaeyoung to sing a few songs earlier while we wait. " His words had been muffled by his hands but were still understandable.

" It's okay." Seungcheol said and patted his shoulder affectionately.

" Joshua." Jeonghan nearly jumped in his seat, almost making Seungcheol spill his drink over him. 

" No." 

" You don't even know what I'll ask." Jeonghan said, crossing his hands over his chest.

" You want me to sing, the answer is no." 

" You sing?" Seokmin said next to him, having been observing the scene quietly.

" He does and he's really good." Jeonghan answered instead. " You need to show him, don't you wanna hear him Seokminnie?" Jeonghan smiled devilishly.

" I do." Seokmin said and squeezed his hand. 

" No, I really don't-"

" Please." Seokmn pouted and Joshua felt like someone stabbed him in the heart. _Damn him._

" On one condition." Joshua closed his eyes and sighed. Screw him and his weakness for Seokmin being cute. "Sing with me." 

" Me? No, I can't." Seokmin quickly answered, shaking his head.

" You told me you love to sing." 

" To my grandma, not in front of all these people. " Seokmin muttered and pulled out his hand, intertwining his fingers in his lap and looking down. "Plus, I'm not even that good, it's not like-" 

" Baby." Joshua lifted his chin up and kissed him quickly, then looked in his eyes. "For me." Seokmin closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply, then eventually nodded.

" Great." Jeonghan stood up abruptly. " I'll tell the band, follow me." 

Joshua took his hand and lead Seokmin across the dance floor, to the small stage. After a quick discussion they agreed on a ballad they both knew, played only on a piano. A staff member brought over an extra microphone, along with two chairs.

Then the lights were out, only the projector bringing brightness to the stage.Joshua closed his eyes a little , trying to look at the audience, but the light was too blinding. He glanced and smiled at Seokmin instead, who focused on Joshua with sparkling eyes as the first sounds of piano filled the room.

[ _One, two.._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5zDWU2veh4)

iii. 

As soon as the door closed, Joshua pressed Seokmin against it, kissing him deeply. He had waited for that moment ever since the song had ended. Of course he expected Seokmin to be good, his voice was beautiful to listen to, but Joshua was biased so that was an understatement. However he didn't expect him to be that good. When he threw Joshua one last glance and had closed his eyes, starting his verse, it was like the world had stopped for a moment. It was like he only existed to listen to Seokmin sing. Joshua had found himself at a loss for words. 

So he had smiled , joining Seokmin, letting the lyrics speak for himself. The melody of the piano danced around them as they sang together, looking into each other's eyes. At that moment Joshua knew he wanted him, more than anything. It wasn't a new feeling, he felt it every time he saw Seokmin smile or heard his voice first thing in the morning. These days the only thing he looked forward to was being with him, to waking up to his voice , to having him in his arms before falling asleep.

Seokmin pulled away after a moment to take a breath, interrupting Joshua's thoughts and grounding him a little.

" I'm sorry." Joshua said, realising he didn't ask if it was okay kissing him, resting his head on Seokmin's shoulder.

" What? No I-" Seokmin said, his voice breaking a little." It was just a surprise." He entwined his hand around Joshua's waist under his coat and squeezed him reassuringly. 

" You were amazing out there, baby." Joshua smiled and finally looked at him.

" Ah, thank you. You weren't so bad yourself." Seokmin said, they both laughed.

" Yeah?" 

" Yeah." Seokmin almost whispered and tightened his hand around his waist "Can I kiss you, please?"

Joshua couldn't refuse of course so he put his hand on the back of Seokmin's head,just over his necklace and pulled him in a kiss. Seokmin kisses him like the world was ending, like he could have been doing anything else but instead had chosen to be here, his hands around Joshua, licking Joshua bottom lip teasingly. Joshua tangled his hand in his hair, tugging, receiving a tiny whimper.

" Bedroom." Joshua heard himself whisper against his mouth,not wanting to overthink everything again. It was okay, he wanted this, Seokmin clearly wanted this judging by his pleased nod before they make their way to the bedroom. They both weren't drunk, only having two glasses of wine each. 

Joshua removed his coat, tossing it in what he hoped was the direction of the armchair, hoping not to trip on the shoes they took off just now. He pushed Seokmin on the bed and laid on top of him, leaning and capturing Seokmin's lips in a kiss again.

They kiss like that for a while, nice and slow, soft moans against lips when one of them moved. Joshua felt Seokmin untucking his shirt, his hands traveling to his chest and slowly unbuttoning some of the buttons, almost reaching the end before Joshua rocked his hips unforgivingly, his breath hitching.

" Joshua." Seokmin whispered, his voice breaking as he was now kissing down Seokmin's neck, scratching the smooth skin with his teeth .

" Fuck, baby." Seokmin could feel Joshua's breath against his neck." I've wanted to have you like this ever since I saw you." 

Seokmin pulled him in a kiss again, snaking his hands under Joshua's shirt, over the warm skin, stroking a trail over the curve of his back. It's hard thinking of a response when in his head is only _Joshua. Joshua. Joshua._

" You are so pretty, angel, can't believe I get to have you for myself." Joshua apparently loved to talk, which was amazing because Seokmin loved hearing his voice, especially now, all dominant and raspy. Seokmin is a little bit- scratch that, very turned on but he doesn't plan to do anything about it, well at least until Joshua rolls his hips against him again so Seokmin could feel him.

" Touch me, please." Seokmin almost cried out.

" Aw." Joshua cooed and smirked at him." Okay babyboy, since you asked so nicely." 

His hand traveled down, unbuttoning his shirt quickly, leaving quick kisses down Seokmin's body. He pushed the shirt out of his way as best as he could.

" Pretty." Joshua repeated against the skin on his belly, leaving teasing kisses above Seokmin's waistband." Gonna take these off now." Joshua said, almost like a question and looked up so Seokmin nodded. Joshua grinned, unbuttoning Seokmin's pants, pulling them down along with his underwear quickly. Joshua then sat between his legs, running his hands over Seokmin's strong thighs. Seokmin blushed at the gesture and the whole situation they were in. 

" Your thighs,baby I-" Joshua said, shaking his head . "I don't know if I want to be between them-" Joshua leaned and bited lightly the skin of his inner thigh. " - or to have you sit on my lap and hold you so hard to leave marks." Seokmin reached both his hands and Joshua obligated, going up and kissing him dizzy. 

" Joshua." Seokmin mumbles, breaking the kiss and receiving a hushed humming. " Gotta tell you something." 

" Okay?" Joshua asked, his voice a little bit worried.

" I've never-" Seokmin averted his eyes, looking in the other direction embarrassed. " Not like that, with a guy."

" Like that?" Joshua furrowed his eyebrows. " You've never been with a man before?"

" I have, just not _like that._ " 

" Like that-" Joshua startet to say when realization struck him. " _Oh_. Do you not wanna, because we can-" 

" _I want you_. " Seokmin said, interrupting him. " Just thought you should know. I'm sorry." 

" It's okay baby, I'm actually pleased." 

" You are?" Seokmin finally looked at him confused.

" Yeah." Joshua gigled. " I'll be the first person to touch you like that, have you like that, all to myself." Joshua kisses his lips sweetly. " I'll be so good to you angel." Joshua nuzzled his nose against his neck and Seokmin laughed because it kinda tickled. " But we'll leave that for another time." Joshua said, his hand quickly traveling down and wrapping around him. Seokmin stopped laughing, instead moaning loud, surprised by the sudden action. It was embarrassing but hot at the same time. Seokmin had his shirt open, exposing his chest, which was flushed and moving quickly due to his rapid breathing, naked under Joshua, while the other was fully clothed, save for the few open buttons of his shirt. Seokmin could feel where the choker rested on his neck, where Joshua had started to kiss his skin.

It was incredible.

Seokmin threw his head back when Joshua started moving his wrist, exposing his neck even more so Joshua claimed it. He bit a mark just under the heart shaped pendant, licking over it after as if he would heal the red skin. It's a little messy, Joshua needed to adjust a little so he could manage to stroke him properly while kissing his neck, but he made it work.

" Kiss." Seokmin demanded, his back arching because Joshua was so good. Too good. He kissed Seokmin, wet and sloppy, sucking his lip and licking into his mouth. He was moaning and whining against Joshua's mouth and Joshua swallowed every sound, making Seokmin almost see stars.

" You are so good baby, pretty and perfect only for me.” Joshua said against his lips, the praise and everything else were too much already. It felt so much more than a simple fucking handjob.

" Only for you." Seokmin repeated, his voice sounding strained and needy, but he needed to show Joshua how he felt in some way. 

" That's right baby." Joshua kissed his cheek too innocently. " You are so special, so good for me so you can come okay, whenever you want." Seokmin nodded and whined at his words. It didn't take much longer until Seokmin came, Joshua's name on his lips, his whole body almost shaking at the release of hormones inside him. 

It took a moment for Seokmin to recover, watching with hooded eyes how Joshua grabbed wipes and cleaned him first, then himself. Then he took off his clothes , putting on a pajama bottoms quickly , joining Seokmin in the bed, helping him slip off his shirt and covering both of them with the duvet.

" Your turn?" Seokmin asked tiredly, his hand traveling down. Joshua just smiled and took his hand, putting it around his waist. 

" Maybe next time, baby. Now we sleep." 

" Okay." Seokmin said and closed his eyes, feeling too spent to argue and moved closer. Joshua kissed his forehead, as he always did. Seokmin fell asleep quickly, wrapped in Joshua's strong hands and surrounded by the pleasant smell of his cologne, thinking half continosly if that's what he had waited for and wanted all his life. 

Joshua , on the other hand,watched him fall asleep, his breath calming and looking peaceful and sweet, like an angel and wondered if that was it. 

If that was the feeling of finally being happy and complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slipped in my biases from my favorite ggs, did you notice :D  
> Anyway I hope the link works, please tell me if it doesn't. I also kinda suck at writing...that scenes so yea.  
> Thank you for reading and leave me a comment if you want. <3


	8. " You have me baby, always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for angst at the beggining.

He was crazy.

Or at least he felt like it.

Seokmin didn't even know why he was doing it. Everything had been going so well for him. He had passed the early exams with good grades. great even. He had time to sleep and rest in between, to go out with his friends. His grandma had been very well, Seokmin still called back home at least two times a week. He had Joshua, who believed in him and gave him the support he didn't know he was in desperate need of.

Maybe that was the reason he didn't hang up the phone immediately when he heard his father's voice yesterday. Joshua made him feel more brave. like he deserved to be cherished and treasured. Seokmin had started to believe it.

Seokmin hadn't heard his father's voice for years, not since his grandma stopped forcing him to talk to him on holidays, hadn't seen him for a while even before he moved to attend university almost four years ago.

Seokmin didn't care about his father, or at least he liked to believe he didn't.

I can't.

Can I?

Seokmin thought as he was walking towards the cafe he was supposed to meet his father for the first time in years. He was already late because of the pep talk he gave himself in front of the mirror. Seokmin desperately wanted to call Joshua. He needed to hear his voice, needed to hear everything was going to be alright.

But he couldn't. Joshua was at work now and didn't need to trouble himself with his insecurities about his father. Seokmin hadn't even mentioned him in front of Joshua yet. So he couldn't.

Breathe. 

Seokmin told himself and touched the necklace from Joshua under the turtleneck to ground himself. Even if all went wrong it didn't change anything. He would still have people that love him. He would still have his Joshua. He didn't owe his father anything.

And so he went.

It took him a minute to recognize him, given the fact that it had been a few years, Overall his father hadn't changed that much. He of course looked a little bit older, but he was still the same height as Seokmin when he stood up to greet him, his features still vaguely resembled Seokmin's, even though he wanted to believe he looked like his mother. Even his smile was the same as it used to be, fake.

Seokmin knew that smile, it was the smile that hid venomous words and pain.  
He wanted to believe it was going to be different now. 

" Seokmin." His father said in a voice that felt familiar but more strained than before." It's good seeing you son." Seokmin thought he heard a hesitation on the last word, but decided to ignore it and shook his hand.

" You look well, how's school going for you." Seokmin knew he looked well, ever since he had Joshua in his life he was good and healthy, ate in normal hours of the day, slept a reasonable amount and his eyes didn't have bags under them. He thought his skin looked more soft and glowy, he had even gained a few pounds. Most importantly he was well mentally, more happy and content.

" University." Seokmin pointed out, he wasn't even sure his father remembered his age since he didn't call on birthdays. " It's good, I really like it." 

And so they talked like that for a while, about small things like the weather or the sports game that was playing on the tv silently. There were more than a few awkward pauses when Seokmin focused on the drink in front of him. He listened to his father explain about his new job as a delivery guy, that seemed to be the reason why he was in town suddenly.

It was...good. Not perfect , it would never be, but Seokmin thought he was trying. He was actually happy that his father had made an effort.

" I never understood you son. Even now, why didn't you choose business for example? Since you are not becoming a doctor, wouldn't your science thing be useless?" Seokmin felt the words pierce like knives through his heart. It was unexpected but he should have known better, his father didn't bark without a bite.

" I like it as I said." 

" You like it." His father laughed, Seokmin hated that laugh. " Life isn't about that, you have to think of the future, someday you'll have a wife and kids you'll need to provide for."

" Right, like the way you did for us with mom." Seokmin knew that was harsh, he watched his father's facade grow dark and almost regretted his words.

" Watch your words." His father snapped and Seokmin was taken off guard. He had forgotten what it's like to be treated like that,to be silenced, when his grandparents had shown him nothing but love. Even now with Joshua he was used to being listened to, because he always liked hearing Seokmin's voice, his thoughts. 

" I don't owe you anything." Seokmin said, he may have forgotten what it was like to be treated like that but he was strong. " You don't have to worry about my future when you weren't there in my past." 

" Every father wants the best for their kids Seokmin, don't get defensive over nothing." His father laughed it off like it was nothing. Somehow that was worse. " You'll soon find a girl that will make you think differently." 

" How do you know I haven't found someone already?" Seokmin spat out before thinking. He was mad and his thoughts and emotions were all over the place.

" Really?" His voice was too doubtful . " Tell me about her."

" His name is Joshua." Seokmin emphasized on the first word. He watched his father's face change from confusion to anger. " He's really great to me." Seokmin added for good measure.

" Is this a fucking joke? " His father raised his voice, turning a few curious heads in their direction. " Answer me dammit. " Seokmin didn't, he just watched him breath heavily with anger which seemed to madden him even more. 

" You are confused." His father concluded after a moment, shaking his head. " My son is not..like that." 

" Well that's good because you don't have a son, you haven't for a while actually. " Seokmin got up and placed some money for his drink on the table. " Don't call me. Ever. " He turned and left. 

He didn't cry, not on the way out of the cafe, not in the taxi. He managed to force a thankful smile at the girl on the reception that was so kind to open the door for Joshua's apartment since she remembered him.

He didn't expect Joshua to be here, he knew he was at work. It was too much. Seokmin felt bad for coming into his home uninvited but he needed Joshua somehow around him, close and comforting. Seokmin walked to Joshua's bedroom on what seemed like a muscle memory and took off his clothes. He put on a t-shirt that was tossed on the bed carelessly and climbed under the covers. 

He cried then.

He cried silently, hugging the pillow Joshua usually slept on close to his heart. He cried about everything, about how dumb he had been giving himself unreasonable hope, about how even if his father was a monster his words still had hurt him, about how weak he was in reality, not being brave enough to argue and defend himself. instead just running away, about the past and even about the future, about the feelings he felt towards Joshua that weren't supposed to be there because their relationship was still just a mutually beneficial deal, even if it felt oh so real. He cried until he couldn't anymore, until he didn't have any tears left and fell asleep. 

ii.

" Baby?" Seokmin woke up hearing Joshua's voice coming from around the apartment. He heard steps coming closer to the closed door and took a breath, rubbing his eyes when all the memories came back. Joshua came into the room after that and walked the distance from the door quickly and kneeled next to the bed.

" I'm so sorry for taking so long baby, but I'm here now, what happened?" Joshua took his hand and kissed the back, his voice full of worry .

" How...how did you know I'm here? " Seokmin stood up a little, pulling Joshua to sit on the bed too.

" Minji called me as soon as she let you in, she mentioned you looked upset." Seokmin noted that was probably the name of the receptionist, he felt bad for not noticing her name on the nametag.

" It's nothing." Seokmin said, not daring to look Joshua in the eyes because if he did he would know that Seokmin was lying to him.

" It is something, you've been crying." Joshua lifted his chin up and stroked his cheek gently. Seokmin averted his eyes, not saying a word. 

Even though he wanted to. Even though he needed to.

But Joshua had already so much stuff on his plate. He didn't talk much about work but Seokmin had sensed it. Joshua was more distracted these past few days and he knew something was troubling him. So Seokmin didn't want to add to that with his pathetic emotions.

" Seokmin, tell me." Joshua's voice was serious and his eyes pierced through him. Seokmin snapped at that, Joshua never called him by his name. He felt the burn of tears in his eyes again.

" I don't want to, please." Seokmin begged, shaking his head and feeling a single tear roll down his cheek again. " I'm sorry."

" Oh angel" Joshua pulled him in a hug and Seokmin nuzzled his nose in his neck breathing in the remaining scent of his cologne. It was alright, as long as he was here with Joshua , it was okay. " Don't apologize, okay? I'm sure whatever it is it's gonna be fine, we'll make it through together." He said as he was softly rubbing Seokmin's back.

"Together." Seokmin repeated and looked at Joshua, who nodded and kissed his forehead. " I want you." Seokmin mumbled after a few quiet moments.

" You have me baby, always."

" No." Seokmin said, taking Joshua's hands and placing them on his hips as he maneuvered himself and sat on his lap. " I want you like this." He kissed Joshua and moved his hips, receiving a low pitched moan from the other.

" I don't think it's the right time baby, you are upset and aren't thinking straight." Joshua said as he broke the kiss.

" Please." Seokmin shook his head. " I need you close, I want you to use me, please." He begged once again, fingers twisting the soft fabric of the other’s shirt. He very much appreciated Joshua caring for him but right now he needed something, needed to be good for Joshua, to have his praises and rough touches. 

" Listen baby, how about we compromise, do you want me to touch you?" Joshua replied , his voice low and his hands digging in the flesh of his hips. Seokmin didn't want that, not when he could feel Joshua against him. He had made him feel so good before and Seokmin wanted to give him that too. 

That's when he got an idea. He could still make Joshua happy, to satisfy him and be good for him. He needed nothing else right now, just to make Joshua forget about everything but him. He kneeled with both his feet on the ground, positioning himself between Joshua's legs.  
" Can I? Only that is enough, please?" Seokmin pouted and looked at Joshua, his hand resting on the button of his pants.

" If you're sure." Joshua leaned to kiss him and Seokmin eagerly complied. He was sure. He wanted this. Seokmin undid the button quickly and Joshua lifted himself a little to help him pull down his pants and underwear. Seokmin lifted his shirt a little, tasting the skin underneath Joshua's belly button. Desire burned in his stomach as he kissed his way down. Joshua felt hot breath on him, followed by fingers, long and elegant, wrapping around him and stroking a little. Seokmin didn't need to do much, Joshua was so aroused to the point of madness. Seokmin looked in his eyes as he licked the head, testing and teasing and Joshua let out a long breath. 

Joshua took in the sight. He didn't think he had ever seen something more beautiful and dirty at the same time. Seokmin's cheeks were red and his long eyelashes caressed his skin when he closed his eyes, taking him slowly in his mouth. His hair was messy as Joshua tangled his hand in it, needing some grounding. He felt Seokmin's tongue exploring purposefully, the flat of it swiping back and forth over the tip. This proceeded all of his expectations and imagination. 

" Baby." Joshua moaned and threw his head back. It was overwhelming. He wanted to say so many things but his head was a mess. He ran his fingers through Seokmin's hair with one hand, hoping that was something, anything. He inhaled sharply when Seokmin took him even more, hollowing his cheeks and moving his head in a steady rhythm.

Seokmin pulled out after that, kissing the skin around a few times before looking at him. " Is it okay?"

" Fuck baby, it's perfect." Joshua managed to say after seeing the tears that had appeared once again in the corner of Seokmin's eyes. Joshua was overwhelmed with pleasure but Seokmin was more important. " Are you okay?" 

"Mm, yes." Seokmin mumbled and took him again without warning. Joshua closed his eye for a second in the hot feeling around him. He was trying so hard to not move, afraid of hurting the other, who somehow sensed that and sank even more, working his hand where his mouth couldn't reach. 

" You are mine, baby, you know that right?" Joshua asked between moans, it was mainly because he knew Seokmin liked to hear it, but in reality he wanted to hear it too. Seokmin pulled a little, just enough to nod and mumble a soft yes and went back in. 

" So pretty and good for me, all mine to have." Joshua smiled and pulled his hair a little , receiving a moan from the other, feeling the vibrations. It was all too much. Everything. Joshua tried to warn Seokmin but he didn't let go, instead took him even more. Joshua came right after the tip hit the back of Seokmin's throat, waves of pleasure spreading all around his body. He watched with hooded eyes as Seokmin frowned a little after swallowing and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and lifted himself to kiss Joshua. He kissed Seokmin softly, his body too spent for anything more.

They climbed under the covers after that, with Seokmin between Joshua's legs,his arms around him, nuzzled in the crook of Joshua's neck. All Seokmin breathed and felt was Joshua. All around him.

"You are so special baby." Joshua whispered, kissing his forehead. Seokmin only smiled, not able to answer, but it was okay because Joshua didn't need one. He was always like that, giving everything without expecting anything in return.

Seokmin was tired, spent and in love. 

He was very much in love.

And that scared him.

He pushed the thought at the back of his head, deciding to enjoy every moment until he couldn't anymore. He focused on Joshua's hand stroking his back like an anchor and fell asleep.

For now being special was enough.


	9. Can I call you mine too?

Seokmin woke up before sunrise, Joshua's hands wrapped tightly around him and surrounding him with warmth. He looked at the clock on the nightstand reading six in the morning. It was reasonable, they had both fallen asleep early last night. Seokmin closed his eyes, needing a few more moments of warmness and comfort before the reality came in crashing. Sometimes it all still felt like a dream. The saddest part of it was that with dreams you wake up and if you are lucky enough you forget about it, only the lingering feeling of longing left, but the thing was, it was too real to be a dream. Joshua kissed him and it was real, he felt more alive than ever. There was this lonely feeling of attachment, the feeling that came with creating a false reality that was like a dream but not exactly. 

He opened his eyes and stirred, escaping Joshua's grip a little so he would be facing him. Seokmin reached and moved a few hairs that had fallen in Joshua's face, caressing his ear and cheek lightly after, careful not to wake him up. He was beautiful, from the crescents of his eyes when he smiled, the elegant curve of his lips, his kindness, his voice early in the morning, everything about him

Joshua woke up, blinking a few times and smiling before kissing the palm of Seokmin's hand on his cheek and pulling him closer by the waist. 

" Why aren't you asleep?" He whispered, softness in his voice.

" We fell asleep early, also I have classes in around two hours." Seokmin said, nuzzling his nose against Joshua's despite the implications of his words.

" We did." Joshua said and lazily moved so he was on top of him. He kissed along Seokmin's neck, who moved his head to the side to give more space. He let his hands wander all over, scratching lightly the skin of Joshua's neck, the curve of his back, the muscles of his hands and his broad shoulders. In this moment the time stopped and all he needed were Joshua's lips on his skin, all he could feel was Joshua taking him touch by touch, until there was not a single cell in his body that didn't belong to Joshua.

 _You are mine, baby._ Joshua’s words burned like a fire, destructive but addicting. A fire that Seokmin needed in his life. 

_Can I call you mine too?_ Seokmin thought but didn't say it. Instead he moved his head, capturing Joshua's lips in a kiss that left both of them breathless. Joshua looked at him after that and Seokmin did too, like they'd never look away. 

" I-" Joshua said and licked his lips. " You have no idea what you do to me." 

Seokmin did. He was pretty sure he felt the same, if not a hundred times more, drowning in his mind and making it his. Everything had started so strangely, Joshua had swept him in his hurricane but it felt so good. 

" I was thinking-" Joshua said and Seokmin turned his whole attention to him." Wanna go somewhere for the weekend?"" 

" Like where?" 

" I don't know, somewhere not too far? Japan maybe, do you have a passport?"

" I..I do, yeah." Seokmin certainly didn't expect that. Is Japan close for Joshua? He supposed it was, Joshua had probably travelled all over the world.

" Okay so it's settled, I'll pick you up after your lectures on Friday so pack your bags in advance." Joshua said and pecked his lips. 

" Okay, but why? " 

" You were upset yesterday and I want you to feel better baby."

" I feel better when I'm with you." Joshua smiled and Seokmin turned them over, caging Joshua under him, his thighs on both sides of Joshua's hips. He leaned down and kissed Joshua, who let his hands wander this time. Seokmin whined when Joshua pulled him closer by the back of his thighs, pressing their bodies closer. 

" You have classes in around two hours" Joshua said and Seokmin could tell he was smirking even without opening his eyes.

" More than enough, you can even get me coffee on the way." Seokmin teased back, standing up and placing his hands on Joshua's chest so he wouldn't move. 

" You look so pretty like that angel." Joshua said, tightening his grip on his legs. 

" Is that a yes?" Seokmin asked and Joshua nodded, pulling him in a kiss by the collar on his shirt. 

" I'm crazy about you." Joshua mumbled with hitched breath, breaking the silence after a long period where the only sounds were tiny whimpers and muffled moans. 

ii.

The flight was unexpected, to say the least. Seokmin had spent last night reading about airport etiquette and tips to follow in case of emergency. He had made sure to bring headphones to not disturb the other passengers if he wanted to listen to music and had made sure to not bring too many stuff so he could pass easily at the gate. 

He hadn't expected Joshua to lead him to a private jet after they passed the security check ( which didn't belong to him but _" a good friend of mine let me borrow it for the weekend"_ according to his words). 

Joshua liked the way Seokmin clinged to him as soon as they sat and fastened their seatbelts, his head on Joshua's shoulder and their fingers intertwined in his lap. He very much liked the way Seokmin trusted him, how he let his guard down around him and seeked comfort. Well maybe not fully yet but they are getting there. Joshua couldn't stand to be helpless around him, to watch him cry and not be able to do anything about it, like the other day. 

However he trusted Seokmin. He would open up if he wanted to, or he wouldn't. That was fine, as long as Seokmin was happy Joshua was good.

"Are you hungry?" Joshua asked, already calling in the flight attendant. Seokmin shook his head. "You sure baby? I'll get you a snack." Seokmin was silent for a moment and Joshua looked at him. Something was clearly wrong, judging by him biting his lip and worried expression.

" Talk to me baby, what's up?" Joshua moved a little closer and whispered. 

" I'm kinda scared." Seokmin laughed awkwardly.

" It's okay." Joshua nodded. " You know the take off is usually the scariest part, plus the flight isn't that long and I won't let go off your hand." Joshua said softly, reaching to stroke his cheek with his free hand. Seokmin clinged both his hands around Joshua's one and nuzzled his nose at the heel of Joshua's palm.

" Okay." Seokmin said sweetly and leaned for a kiss.

" Now tell me, what do you want for a snack? " Joshua said but was interrupted by the pilot's words. Apparently they were ready for a take off. A briefing started playing on the monitor in front of them and as soon as it ended the airplane began to move, rising slowly into the air. Seokmin felt his stomach turning in his belly and he gripped Joshua's hand tighter. Joshua just smiled at him and told him it was going to be okay once more.

It was over as quick as it had started and an announcement played telling them that they can use their electronic devices, unbuckle their seatbelts, and move around the plane as desired. 

iii.

After they landed in the capital, they immediately went to the hotel, a big and expensive looking tall building located around the centre of the city. Their luggage was handled quickly at the reception and they were led to their room by a bellboy. Seokmin looked around as Joshua was exchanging a few words with him. The room was big, seemingly the size of his apartment back home. The decor was in white and shades of gold, the couch and the big tv were placed next to the huge windows. The bed was on the other end and there were two doors in the room, probably for the closet and the bathroom.

" You like it? " Joshua said and hugged him from behind after they were finally left alone.

" I do." Seokmin said and turned in his hands." Didn't know you speak Japanese." 

" Just enough to get by." Joshua said and led him to the couch to sit while he poured them each a glass of wine from the minibar.

" This place is amazing." Seokmin said, taking the glass and tasting the alcohol. He had never been one to enjoy wine, sure he didn't hate it but it wasn't his drink of choice. After Joshua he had started to love the rich aroma and bitter but tingling feeling in the back of his throat.

" I'm glad you like it, I always stay in hotels from this chain. The owner is a family friend." Joshua said and wrapped his hand around his shoulders, leaning back. 

" You have many friends it seems." Seokmin teases, not with the intention to sound possessive or anything.

" Not that many." Joshua placed his glass on the side table and leaned in, cupping his cheek. " And even if i did, it's all they are, friends, no one comes close to you." 

" To me?" 

" Yeah." Joshua smiled at his neediness. " You are my baby, I would always put you first." Seokmin didn't know if it was true, frankly he didn't care, he wanted blindly to believe Joshua's words. So he did. He leaned close and kissed him. Joshua's lips tasted like wine, felt familiar but never enough. 

" Can we stay in tonight, I'm really tired." Seokmin asked, pulling away to get up and take off his hoodie. He tossed it on the couch and went to lie on the bed. It felt like heaven, soft and clean.

" Sure, I'll just take a quick shower and we'll go to bed." Joshua said, taking off his jacket and unbuttoning the first buttons of his shirt. Seokmin nooded, hugging the soft pillow. " Or a bath. Yeah, a nice hot bath sounds good.'' Seokmin only hummed so Joshua gave up, maybe he really was too tired.

Joshua took all he needed for his bath from his suitcase and headed to the bathroom. He leaned on the edge of the sink, looking through the window as the water quickly filled the tub. The almond and coconut milk scent of the bubble bath he had poured was relaxing too. It had been a long week, finishing the dress for Park Sooyoung was stressful but rewarding after seeing her smile as soon as she saw the finished piece. Maybe he needed this little get away trip as much as Seokmin did, he would kill for some time alone with only him, without worrying about work or anything else. Joshua took off his clothes and turned off the tap, getting into the tub. It was almost perfect. 

Then he heard a quiet knock and smiled, telling Seokmin to come in.

" Can I?" He said shyly, fumbling with the hem of his shirt.

" Of course baby, I was wondering when you'll catch up.* Joshua said and watched him pleasantly take off his clothes and opened his arms so Seokmin would sit between his legs. 

The sound of the water moving and rippling was the only sound in the bathroom for a while. Seokmin had closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle touches of Joshua's hands on his chest, his head comfortably tipped back against his shoulder. It was comforting, to say the least. Joshua loved to have him in his arms, to take care of him and feel the trust Seokmin was showing him and Seokmin adored nothing more than to be in Joshua's embrace. It was warm and smelled good so Seokmin had to fight the urge to doze off.

He moved in the tub, straightening his back. He could feel Joshua's solid chest behind him and turned his head to look at him. He nudged Joshua's earrings with his nose, kissing the soft skin under his ear. "How many piercings do you have?"

" Six." Joshua answered, his voice sounding as silky as the fluffy bubbles in the tub."Do you like them?" 

" I like everything about you." Seokmin admitted timidly, but relaxed after seeingJoshua's smile.

" Such a good boy, always stroking my ego." Joshua laughed, tightening his grip around his waist. " You know I got my first one to make my parents angry." Seokmin looked at him, narrowing his eyes in disbelief." It's true, I was young and rebellious, wanted to try a little bit of everything." 

"You are still young." Seokmin said.

" Not that young. Maybe you should start calling me daddy as well hmm?" 

" Do you want me to?" Seokmin moved, turning in one swift motion and straddled his lap. "Daddy?" 

" Weren't you really tired?" Joshua laughed, brushing off a few wet strands of hair away. Seokmin smiled sheepishly and Joshua kissed him, long and deep. 

" Shua." Seokmin said breaking the kiss, continuing to trace the outlines of Joshua's collarbones with his fingers,mapping every curve." You’ve never mentioned your parents until now."

" I suppose I haven't."

" What are they like?" Seokmin asked quietly, not sure if it was the right moment to ask or even if he was in position.

" They are good, not perfect but good." Joshua petted his head comfortingly and Seokmin relaxed.

" How so?" 

" My parents are very traditional and religious people.’’ Joshua started. “So when I came out to them ,when I was seventeen I think, at first they refused to believe me and acted as if I hadn't. Then we moved to America and they saw that it wasn't unnatural, loving people of the same gender. I think they were just scared for me, being different and not fitting in, but as the years went by we got along better and better. They just want me to be happy." Joshua explained.

" Are you?' Seokmin asked and Joshua took his time to think about it. Then his blank face turns into a soft smile. 

" Yeah, I think I am." Joshua said softly and Seokmin felt the familiar burn in his eyes. He closed them and inhaled deeply, smiling and hugging Joshua tight. No one has ever made him feel like that. No one has ever made him melt with a single smile and ruined him with just a few words. 

" What about you?" Joshua asked, fingers lightly scratching the curve of his spine.

" My parents?" Seokmin leaned back, looking away through the big windows. " I- well, I don't-" 

" Baby, look at me." Joshua interrupted him, turning his head gently by his chin." You don't have to talk about it, I know it's not something you are... comfortable with" 

" How did you-?"

" I just noticed some things, added two and two together " Joshua said and caressed his cheek with his thumb. " You don't have to tell me if you don't want, ever." 

" Thank you." Seokmin said,breathing out in relief.

" I meant to ask if you are happy, angel?" 

Seokmin didn't need to think about it, right now he was, he was the happiest. He nodded, enjoying the pretty smile that formed on Joshua's face before kissing him again. There was something behind Joshua's eyes and smile as they got out of the tub and climbed under the covers, but Seokmin didn't mention it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. <3  
> Also I just made [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/pinkphoeniixx) so let's be mutuals if you want 👉👈🦋💕


	10. " I'm so happy I found you angel."

i.

"Shua" Joshua heard Seokmin whisper in the silent dark room. He felt a finger poking his cheek and smiled at the childish gesture. Apparently he was in a good mood. Usually Joshua was the one to wake up earlier, but in the rare times the other did he made sure Joshua was soon wide awake too.

" Shh baby, daddy is sleeping." Joshua smirked, without opening his eyes, but he knew Seokmin was probably rolling his. 

" You don't want me to call you that for real,do you?" Seokmin asked.

" You seemed to like it last night in the bath. " Joshua said and tapped his nose playfully. 

" I-" Seokmin pushed his hand away and turned so he was laying on his back, crossing his arms. " I didn't." He mumbled.

Joshua moved closer, hugging him tightly around the waist and left a kiss on his cheek. Seokmin gave up on the pouting after that, kissing Joshua was more fun anyway.

They went out for lunch eventually. Seokmin let Joshua pick his clothes while he showered so he had him dressed in black jeans and silky golden button up. It was cute, having Joshua gushing about how pretty he was while putting on some light makeup and fixing his hair. Joshua even had him wear a gold chain to go with the outfit but didn't seem too pleased when Seokmin undid à few buttons so it could be seen better. He let him do it nonetheless.

After they had lunch at the best sushi restaurant Seokmin had ever seen, Joshua took him on a walk in a big shopping district. Everything around them screamed wealth and high class, from the high billboards that displayed ads for brands the big celebrities wore, to the strange looking pieces of clothing behind the polished glass of the stores. Even the people seemed different, no one paid attention to him and Joshua walking hand in hand, but even if they did Joshua didn't seem to care so Seokmin held his hand proudly.

"Last time you let me choose something for you." Joshua said as he was opening the door for him to a jewelry store once again.'' Now I want you to pick something you like."

" But I love the one you picked for me." Seokmin said, reaching for the choker by habit, but it wasn't there so he dropped his hand. Joshua refused his protests so he was once again taken to a display of different kinds of necklaces. They were all beautiful, don't get him wrong, but no one came closer to the one Joshua had picked for him. He tried a few ones but no one felt right. 

Seokmin felt bad, Joshua looked so happy to take him here and get him something, only for him to be picky and don't settle on anything. But somehow just settling on something wasn't enough, not when Joshua could sense it. 

" These are pretty." He said, more to himself as they were heading out of the store. Joshua stopped right on his track.

" What was that angel?" Joshua asked and Seokmin pointed out a pair of earrings displayed beautifully on a high stand. " You want them? I didn't know you had an ear piercing." Joshua reached his hand and brushed a few strands of hair behind his ear, caressing the lob of his ear gently. '' How unthoughtful of me."

" What? No!" Seokmin said." I just never wear earrings, I don't think they suit me that well."

" Let's see about that." Joshua said, gesturing to the lady at the desk to come. They exchanged a few words in Japanese and soon Seokmin was wearing a beautiful pair of black diamond earrings with a halo of regular ones. 

" Stunning." Joshua decided so now Seokmin had his first pair of diamond earrings. 

" Aren't they?" Seokmin said happily, looking at himself in the mirror. " They'll go with the choker beautifully."

" And nothing else I hope." Joshua said and Seokmin was thankful the lady didn't understand Korean.

ii.

" What are you thinking about?" Seokmin asked. After dinner they headed back to the hotel, deciding neither of them were in the mood to go somewhere else. They had put on some quiet music and talked with a glass of wine in both their hands, but Joshua got quite quiet after a while. Even then Seokmin enjoyed the silence, as long it was with Joshua, it was comforting and peaceful.

Joshua didn't answer, just took their glasses and put them on the table, taking his hand and leading him to the bed. He opened the drawer of his night stand, pulling out a blue box and led him in front of the mirror.

" I saw it near the earrings and couldn't help myself." Joshua said, opening the box and taking out a new necklace. It was similar to the last one, but this one was made of black silk and the pendant reminded the diamonds of the halo around his earrings. Joshua removed the golden chain carefully, replacing it with the new one. He made sure it wasn't too tight around his neck and looked at Seokmin's reflection. " It's more comfortable and discreet so you can wear it more often." 

" I don't think a diamond can ever be discreet." Seokmin put his hand over Joshua's, now resting on his waist and intertwined their fingers." I love it." 

He turned around facing him and Joshua stroked the skin of his neck around the necklace. He moved the collar of his shirt and kissed the skin gently. Seokmin took a deep breath to calm himself. He felt his blood buzzing with excitement of the future probabilities.

" You like what you see?" He teased once Joshua had returned his gaze on him. He really needed a little more than a few kisses. 

" You have no idea angel." Joshua's gaze was dark and he ran his thumb over Seokmin's lip, who in return playfully licked the tip. Joshua smirked and tightened the grip on his waist. It was something like a warning, like the intense and alluring look of the fire before you reach and burn yourself. Seokmin wrapped his hands around his neck and kissed him long and deep. His lips always felt good, almost too good, like a drug, a drug that was his but not exactly. Like a drug that gave him ecstasy momentarily but the aftertaste was deadly.

Joshua returned the kiss eagerly, licking his lips and then biting the bottom one when Seokmin pulled out for a breath. Joshua could ruin him just like that, using his lips and nothing more and Seokmin would still be grateful. He rolled his head back when Joshua moved down, kissing along his jaw and neck, sucking at the skin over his necklace.

It was so good. Seokmin felt his knees getting weak, the only thing still keeping him up was Joshua's tight grip on him, like an anchor. He tangled his fingers in Joshua's hair, pulling him even closer to his neck. No one had ever kissed him the way Joshua did, possessive and needy.

" Please." He begged, hoping Joshua knew what he needed because he himself didn't. His head felt dizzy, he had no thoughts, his mind was repeating only Joshua's name.The dim light in the room made Joshua's eyes seem black when he looked at him. He was just as deep, his hair was a mess from Seokmin's fingers, his clothes were ruffled, ruining the polished image of the man everyone saw. No one saw him like this, raw and craving, only Seokmin.

" Are you sure baby, you don't have to." Joshua said, once again stroking his lips, now red and swollen. Joshua was very sweet, he always was, from the gesture to his soft voice whenever he had to reassure Seokmin. However he didn't want sweet, not now. 

" I'm sure." Seokmin said confidently, running his hands over the white dress shirt through his chest, placing his palms on his chest.

" Good." Joshua said and brushed a few hairs away from his forehead. " I'm gonna make you feel so good, angel." Joshua whispered against his lips,fingers moving to touch the soft exposed skin under the choker, carefully tracing the red marks left by him earlier. He undid a few buttons, lowering himself to kiss every newly exposed inch of skin, like it was the first time he had touched him like that. Seokmin tried not to protest when Joshua stopped and led him to the bed. He sat first, tapping his lap and Seokmin didn't need another invitation. He straddled him and quickly started undoing the buttons to finally take off Joshua's shirt too.

" So impatient." Joshua mumbled and kissed him again, his tongue dragging over his bottom lip sinfully, while his hands squeezed his hips. Seokmin pushed the shirt over his shoulders and broke the kiss, demanding it was off completely. Seokmin took his time, touching and teasing, mapping every muscle, memorising every curve. Joshua watched him patently with such care and adoration, like he was the only thing that mattered. Seokmin then locked his gaze in the dark room, his eyes were so trusting and full of happiness because they were here together. Joshua could hear it even in the silence of the room, could see it with the lights out and feel it under his skin. He was in love.

Joshua wrapped his hands around his waist and turned them over, caging Seokmin between his body and the bed, careful not to hurt him. Seokmin opened his legs for him to get comfortable, feeling more excited than nervous. Sure, he hadn't done this before, well not exactly, but he completely and utterly believed that Joshua would take care of him, make him feel good. Joshua kissed him again, slow and gentle, leaving a sweet taste in his mouth, a taste that would leave everybody else tasting bitter. His hands went down his body and Seokmin could feel Joshua's crotch pressed against his own before he pulled away to unbutton his jeans. Joshua kissed his neck again, this time more roughly, sucking another mark on his collarbone. His skin was probably not red but purple by now, but it didn't hurt at all. He liked having the marks on him just as much as Joshua loved leaving them. Seokmin liked the reminder of being his.

Seokmin's body physically jolted when he felt Joshua licking his nipple. It's something he never thought it would feel that good. He moved his hips up against Joshua and could feel his smile against his skin, before doing it again. Joshua seemed to enjoy finding a new sensitive spot to ruin him by, continuing to lick and bite despite Seokmin's protesting whimpers. 

Joshua lets go eventually in favour of going down his body, undoing his pants and taking them off eagerly along with the underwear. He settled comfortably between Seokmin's legs, kissing the skin of the inside of Seokmin's thighs. He loved doing that. Very much. Joshua felt like he could spend hours worshiping every inch of skin. He purposefully avoided touching Seokmin where he most wanted, he wanted to ruin him, to see him beg. 

" Please." He cried out, tangling his fingers in Joshua's hair to ground himself. Joshua lifted his eyes and he looked oh so wrecked and beautiful, he couldn't resist giving Seokmin everything he wanted. The low moan that escaped from his mouth when Joshua finally took him into his mouth was like music to his ears. He felt like he could spend an eternity making Seokmin feel good, listening to his sweet voice being too ruined to form even a sentence. He took him even deeper,circling his tongue and hollowing his cheeks, trying to breathe from his nose as much as possible. Joshua held down Seokmin's hips when he tried to move up, which was a warning he needed to stop. He released him and left a few kisses on the skin around and went up.

" You are so beautiful like that baby." Joshua said and kissed his cheek. " Could watch you all day." 

" Thank you." Seokmin mumbled, his cheeks were already red but Joshua was sure he was blushing. It was so cute and contradicting, that even after all they have done he was still blushing over a little praise. Joshua reached over him and opened the bottom drawer, pulling a bottle and a condom from the back of it. 

" I, ah, wanted to be prepared just in case." He said carefully. " I wasn't counting on it, we can stop anytime okay?" 

" I don't wanna stop." Seokmin said and kissed him. He doesn't even have to think about it. " You are everything I've ever wanted." He promised. Seokmin dragged his hand along his spine, slipping his hand in Joshua's back pocket to press him down. His hands move to take his pants off too. It wasn't fair that he was the only one naked. Joshua's breath hitched when Seokmin touched him over the underwear, burying his head in his shoulder.

Joshua is naked too, soon enough and is placing a pillow under Seokmin's hips. He watched with hooded eyes how Joshua opened the lube and coated his fingers and it's real . It's happening. He had imagined it for so long and now it was all reality. Joshua lowered himself and kissed him, lifting Seokmin's leg to wrap around his waist with his other hand. He didn't release his lips when he finally slipped one finger inside him, drinking up every sound Seokmin made. It is uncomfortable at first so Joshua kissing him is a good distraction. 

" Are you okay baby?" Joshua whispered against his lips and squeezed the flesh of his thigh reassuringly. " Is it too much?" 

" It's okay, I've...tried to do it to myself." Seokmin said, arching his back. "Once or twice, when I missed you."

" You have?" Joshua asked, pausing to look at him.

" Why did you stop?" Seokmin pushed his hips up, seeking something, anything. Joshua licked his lips and started moving his hand again. 

" Next time I'll make you show me darling." Joshua whispered against his neck, adding another finger, Seokmin groaned and crawled his shoulder at the intense feeling.

It felt way too good, Joshua's fingers and him above Seokmin, caging and surrounding him. He could feel Joshua on every inch of his body, inside and out. It was weirdly calming too, he felt safe and the feeling of Joshua moving his fingers was consistent and addicting. He could spend hours here, just enjoying the touch and making quiet whimpers.

Then Joshua added another finger and it was a little painful but not unbearable, he focused on Joshua's lips kissing the place behind his ear until it was comfortable again. He hummed comfortably when the pain was gone, glad to dive in the previous feeling when Joshua twisted his fingers and touched something deep within him. Seokmin hoped his moan wasn't as loud as he had heard himself. 

" That feels very good." He said once he felt the wave of pleasure start to wear off. Joshua moved his fingers again, doing the exact thing as before and Seokmin pressed his hand on his mouth so he didn't scream again.

" No angel, let me hear you." Joshua said, nudging his hand with his nose, both arms occupied. " You said you've tried it." 

" I..I did. It never felt like that." 

" Poor baby." Joshua said and started moving his hand even quicker, making waves of pleasure flow all around Seokmin's body. It was so good. Too good. Seokmin knew if Joshua didn't stop he would be gone any second.

" Shua, I want you now." He said, his voice breaking a little. Joshua pushed one last time before taking his fingers out, wiping them off in the sheet and kissed him quickly. 

" If you are sure baby." 

" I am." He watched Joshua opening the condom and rolling it, adding more lube, stroking himself a few times and felt himself begging without realising it " _please, please, i need-_ " Joshua shuts him with a kiss, deep and dirty.

" I know angel." Joshua said. " I'm gonna take care of you." 

Seokmin knew that was true, he always did. Joshua finally pressed into him, slow and careful, trying not to hurt him. It felt like nothing he's ever felt before, it hurted like a bitch too. He bit his lip so he didn't cry out, he had wanted this for so long and he wasn't gonna ruin it now. Joshua kissed him then and he returned it, trying to suppress the pain as much as possible. 

" We can stop." Joshua said breaking the kiss. Seokmin knew he probably was holding himself back, going as slowly and carefully as he could. 

" No, don't." He cried out, pulling Joshua even closer and deeper with his leg, pressing his lips together because that was a stupid decision, feeling a tear roll off his eye. " Kiss me." He said and Joshua did, he kissed his lips, his cheek, his neck and Seokmin tried to focus on that.

The pain washed off eventually, little by little, not completely but Seokmin started to kinda like it when it wasn't too intense.

" You are being so good for me angel." Joshua said and Seokmin moaned, loving the combination of feeling Joshua inside while praising him. 

" More, please." He begged, pushing the pain at the back of his mind, drowning in the feeling of being full but with barely any friction. Joshua pulled out, adding even more lube and dived back in, going deeper and kissed Seokmin, drinking every sound his lips made. 

He's so good, thrusting in a steady rhythm and all Seokmin could do was take it, feeling like his whole body was paralyzed with pleasure. They aren't kissing anymore, rather gasping and moaning against the others lips. Seokmin is totally gone, Joshua is moving against him, resulting in a gratifying sensation with every new thrust and that was too much.

" Look at you baby, so pretty and hot at the same time." Joshua said, just in time when he touched the spot again, but this time better and more intense . He wrapped his hand around Seokmin and moved it in the rhythm of his thrusts and Seokmin is definitely not going to last anymore. He felt the burning feeling down in his belly driving him crazy.

" Joshua." He gasped out, almost didn't recognizing his voice. " I'm gonna come, can I, please?" He begged, his nails digging in Joshua's back, definitely leaving marks. He felt the muscles of his back tense, could see his bicep next to his head where Joshua was supporting himself to not crush him, his skin was damp and glowing with sweat. Everything about Joshua was sinful and seductive.

" Of course babyboy, whenever you want." Joshua said and kissed his cheek again, quickening the speed of his hand. He kissed his neck again, going even deeper somehow and Seokmin was _totally definitely gone_. He comes, his muscles tensing and his vision blacking out.

" Good boy." Joshua said, talking him through it. " So pretty, all mine." Seokmin moaned loudly and nodded because _yes, he was, he belonged to Joshua._ Only Joshua could make him feel like that, safe, cherished, valued. 

" Don't stop." Seokmin said when he felt Joshua pulling out and wrapped both his legs around him. The pleasure had started to disappear, replaced by a dull pain but he didn't care. He wanted Joshua in him, to make him feel just as good.

Joshua did, resuming his rhythm and Seokmin was so sensitive and everything was sticky but was worth it because every time he heard Joshua moan he loved it, loved the feeling, loved the pain. Joshua doesn't last long, soon cursing under his breath and kissing him filthy and wet, coming hard too. He collapsed on top of Seokmin, breathing heavily. Seokmin runned his fingers through his hair, a comforting touch. He's so gone for him it shouldn't be possible.

Joshua opened his eyes eventually, lifting himself a little and pressing a soft kiss on Seokmin's mouth, his thumb caressing his cheek. He stood up somehow and brought a wet towel to clean them off. Seokmin closed his eyes, feeling too spent to move. 

" You okay baby?" Joshua asked and helped Seokmin lift himself up to pull the covers over them, laying face to face with their legs tangled together.

" So good." Seokmin hummed, nuzzling in the soft fabric of the sheets and Joshua laughed at that, petting his hair.

" You look gorgeous when you come." Joshua said and Seokmin opened his eyes, seeing him smirk.

" Why would you say that?" Seokmin whined.

" Because it's true."

" Whatever, thanks." Seokmin laughed too and put his hand on Joshua's cheek.

" My pleasure." Joshua wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Kiss?" Seokmin tilted his head, pouting his lips and who was Joshua to deny such a cute request.

" I'm so happy I found you angel." Joshua whispered in the silence around him. Seokmin thought he was even more so. He didn't know if Joshua felt the same as him, but damn it felt like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -uM ANYWAY CHILE SO uh yea?


	11. " I'm sorry."

" I'm in love with him." Joshua walked into the apartment past Jeonghan and into the living room. He sat on the sofa,trying to calm himself down but stood up immediately. He simply could not stand sitting in one place, alone with his thoughts, that's why he had taken a walk that subconsciously had led him into Jeonghan's apartment.

" Shocking." The other man said, not ever a hint of surprise in his voice." Good night, stay in the guest bedroom or don't, just lock the door with the spare key when you decide." 

" I'm serious Hannie." Joshua said, combing his hair with his fingers, it was getting kinda long and the colour had faded. His roots looked terrible too, he should get a haircut and dye soon.

" I am too, it's four in the morning Joshua." Jeonghan said, tightening the belt of his robe and sitting on the couch,crossing his legs.

" What's happening?" Seungcheol walked into the room, rubbing his eyes from sleep.

" Joshua is in love with Seokmin." Jeonghan said, crossing his hands and looking at Joshua with a disapproving look. Joshua knew this look to pain. Usually he was the more mature one, Jeonghan's fun and carefree nature coming naturally, but when things were serious Joshua knew he could always trust him,for help as well as put him in his place.

" That's great.”Seungcheol said, clearly not reading the room.

“It isn't.” Joshua said, collapsing next to Jeonghan on the couch and covering his eyes with his hands. “It wasn't supposed to happen, we had a deal and everything.”

“You can't control your feelings Jisoo.” Seungcheol said, leaning into the doorframe. Joshua groaned. Wasn't he the one to support this thing from the start, weren't they in favour of the beneficial relationship on both sides? However deep down Joshua knew Seungcheol meant well, back then as well as now.

“But I should have...I...”Joshua looked at the ceiling, trying to form his next words, collect his thoughts. But it was hard when his brain was screaming only his name.

“You should tell him.” Jeonghan said, breaking the silence. 

“No fucking way.” Joshua cut him off. It wasn't that easy, it sounded easy, maybe in a perfect world he would tell Seokmin he was an idiot and fell for him and the other would feel the same. But this was reality. This was where he would end up all alone again. “We had a deal, a mutual agreement, he is so wonderful to me, makes me happy, but he's just doing his part, I can't expect more from him.”

“You truly are that dence huh?” Jeonghan laughed at his face. “The poor boy looks at you like you hanged the stars in the sky or something, it's clear he isn't indifferent towards you, to say the least.” Jeoghan took his hand, intertwining their fingers and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Tell him or you'll regret it, who knows, he might be just as in love with you. In fact I bet on it. You are wonderful Joshua, stop being so hard on yourself." Jeonghan caresed the skin at the back of his hand with his thumb."Either way we will be here. Always.” Jeonghan promised and looked at Seungcheol, who nodded and smiled.

ii.

Maybe they were right.Telling Seokmin was probably the best option, not to mention probably the only one because ever since he had realised his feelings they were the only thing occupying his mind. Joshua was surprised he didn't know sooner actually. Falling for Seokmin was the easiest thing.Of course he was in love, but how could he not? Joshua had always had his walls up, wrong people had made them taller and taller. Yet somehow Seokmin didn't even have to try, he had gently opened a door, found a weak point and made himself a home in Joshua's heart, filling it with warmth and light like no one had before. Every time he smiled Joshua saw a garden of the most beautiful flowers blooming, Every time Seokmin looked at him, Joshua felt every breath being taken out of his lungs. Every time Seokmin kissed him he was untying all the knots and stealing all his secrets. Seokmin kissed him and he felt at home.

That's what he was, a home, a place where Joshua could be himself, where he could finally exhale and be happy. That's why he was afraid of telling Seokmin. Because without him Joshua would feel empty again, a dull shell, just like he was before.

Yet even if it all ended badly he knew he'd do it all over.

Joshua closed his laptop, moving it to the side and rubbed his temples with his fingers. He really needed to do something, man up and tell Seokmin or he'll go insane soon. 

A quiet knock on the door captured his attention from where he was staring with blank expression through the window. 'It's late, why aren't you asleep?" Joshua said after Seokmin invited himself into the small room in the apartment Joshua had made into an office.

"I could ask the same." Seokmin walked in front of him, sliding the notepad and pens he had on the desk and sitting on top, leaning in to look at Joshua from the above. He was so cute, his hair was messed up from laying in bed and his eyes looked tired. He had put on one of Joshua's t-shirts that he wore around the apartment. It's not like he didn't have anything else to wear, Joshua bought him plenty of clothes and had even made a little space in his closet for Seokmin to put some for when he spent the night. Nonetheless he still preferred wearing Joshua's shirts to bed which was endearing honestly. "You know I hate sleeping without you."   
  
"I know baby." Joshua said, standing up and pushing his chair back, positioning himself between Seokmin's legs and putting his hands on his hips. Another night, he told himself as he kissed Seokmin, slow and gentle, savoring every moment, every taste. He felt Seokmin's fingers in his hair, carding through his locks and hummed pleasantly. Everything felt domestic and right, Seokmin's touch is familiar and comforting.

"You look tired." Seokmin said against his lips, searching through Joshua's face with his eyes. Joshua loved his voice, it's smooth and pleasant, like honey. He loved being woken up by him when his words sounded raspy from sleep and loved being the reason he couldn't find them when they were in bed.

"I am." Joshua lifted up his shirt and touched the warm skin over his waistband. He kissed Seokmin's jaw with feather touches. Ĥe wanted to have everything, get everything while he still could but he was too tired for anything more than just showing Seokmin he was cherished, that he was loved. He brushed his nose against Seokmin's and hearing his quiet giggle made his heart ache. Joshua kissed his forehead, the adorable mole he had on his cheek, the side of his lips, every little place he could find. Seokmin moved his hands from his hair so he was cupping his face and caressed his jaw.

"I can help you relax." He said, hopping off the desk and intertwining their fingers, leading Joshua to the bedroom.

As soon as the door was closed, Seokmin pushed Joshua to lie and climbed on top of him, claiming his lips. Joshua closed his eyes and hummed into the kiss, giving Seokmin full control. His lips are soft and warm and fucking addicting. Seokmin moved his hips, making Joshua gasp and slid his tongue into his mouth. _Smart move._ Somehow Seokmin knew every way to get what he wanted from Joshua. He dragged his tongue on the roof of Joshua's mouth, leaving him breathless. Seokmin licked his bottom lip as he was undoing his pants impatiently and Joshua let him, he wanted Seokmin to have full control tonight, to just erase his thoughts and drown in him. Joshua lifted his hips and his pants and underwear were off quickly. He smirked at the impatient boy now kissing his neck and tangled his hands in his hair. Seokmin moved quickly, not giving even a second for Joshua to breathe, he had given up on taking off Joshua's shirt two buttons in and instead moved quickly down his body. Joshua tried hard to stay still but he couldn't help but move his hips when Seokmin teased him. He was getting bolder, it was a fun thing for Joshua.

" I'll make you feel so good." Seokmin promised, repeating Joshua's own words from before. Joshua rolled his head back and clutched the sheets with his free hand when he felt  
him taking him into his mouth. It's fucking good and familiar. It's perfect. Seokmin had his hands wrapped around Joshua's thighs , keeping him in place. Not moving is hard when Seokmin circles his tongue in the most sinful ways, receiving only moans and incoherent swears. Joshua swore he was getting better and better every time he did it, sure every time was great, everything with Seokmin was. But he wasn't shy or sloppy this time, moving in just the perfect rhythm to make Joshua lose his mind.

"Fucking perfect baby, you are incredible." He said, a little breathlessly as he pulled at Seokmin's hair. Joshua knew he liked it but the muffled moan he received was a nice addition, feelling the vibrations of it on him too. Seokmin seemed satisfied with the praise because he sank deeper and Joshua had to fight the urge to close his eyes. Seokmin is such a pretty sight to watch, with his eyes closed and his cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink, his lips red and swollen and his beautiful fingers sinking in the flesh of Joshua's legs to ground himself.

"My good boy." Joshua managed to say between moans and Seokmin looked at him for a moment pleasantly before sliding off to kiss the skin on Joshua's hipbone. Joshua let a sound of displeasure of the lack of motion so he replaced his mouth with his hand instead. He moved up and kissed Joshua, hand still working in a steady motion. He drinked up everything Joshua managed to offer, too lost in his pleasure, and returned it eagerly. Seokmin bit his lip and lifted himself to watch Joshua get ruined under him as he moved his hand even quicker. Fuck, who taught him that. 

"Fuck, angel." Joshua closed his eyes, the feeling of Seokmin's hand and his eyes on him being too much. Joshua's brain kind of stopped working after that and he thought he could feel Seokmin kissing his neck again but he wasn't sure.

"Do you like that Shua?"Seokmin whispered sweetly into his ear, making tingles run along Joshua's spine, no one's voice should be so gentle and seductive at the same time. "Gonna take care of you." 

Seokmin kissed him, swallowing the moan Joshua let after hearing his words. That was Joshua's job, to take care of Seokmin. It was ironic really,Joshua had given him his heart to cherish after all. Joshua cupped his head with one hand and moved it to the side to leave a mark on Seokmin's skin because he looked so good in purple, a sign he belonged to Joshua and no one else. Seokmin gasped at the feeling, he needed it just as much.

It was embarrassing how fast he came after that, maybe it was because of the stress he constantly felt this past weeks or it was the fact he was totally gone for Seokmin. He kissed Joshua, guiding him through it and didn't stop until Joshua pushed his hand away, being too sensitive for anything more. Seokmin stayed on top of him after that, petting his hair and leaving soft kisses on his skin until Joshua caught his breath. He tried not to get too lost and fall asleep after that but with Seokmin's presence and smell all around him was hard. The energy he radiated purely by existing was always so calm and comforting.

"Shua." Seokmin said after Joshua had come back to reality and was now stroking his back.

"Yes baby?"

"You need to shower," Seokmin lifted himself up and tapped his nose playfully.

"Will you come too?" 

"Of course."

They showered and went to bed afterwards, tangled into each other. Sleeping next to Seokmin was still his favourite thing. Joshua held him closer that night, ignoring the pain in his heart because he's so in love with Seokmin. 

And well... Seokmin probably wasn't.

iii. 

Joshua woke up to an empty bed and scrunched his nose. Seokmin usually liked to cuddle in the morning, at least this was what he always pouted about when Joshua got up before him. He stood up and pulled a shirt over his head, walking towards the kitchen. He heard Seokmin singing to himself quietly before entering and Joshua stopped at his tracks. He was singing a cheesy old love song but his voice was still the best thing Joshua had heard. Maybe he was biased but he thought Seokmin could easily become one of the main vocals in one of these popular groups these days. 

Joshua entered the kitchen and walked to hug Seokmin from behind, where he was cooking something at the stove. He jumped a little at first but relaxed as soon as he felt Joshua's presence, leaning back into the embrace.

"Good morning angel." Joshua kissed his cheek. "What are you doing?" 

"Good morning, wanted to make you breakfast, hope you don't mind." Seokmin said confidently.

It was just a simple breakfast,just some scrambled eggs, bacon and toast but Joshua swore it was the best he had ever had. He listened carefully to the story Seokmin was telling him as they ate and felt like this was right. This was everything he wanted for the rest of his life. To fall asleep and wake up together, have breakfast and light conversations, take care of each other. He wanted Seokmin to wear his shirts forever, to see his beautiful smile first thing in the morning and hear his voice every day.

"I don't want to do this anymore." Joshua said out of the blue before he could stop himself, interrupting Seokmin's story, who looked at him with confused expression. "I don't want you to be my sugar baby anymore, I.." _love you._ He paused before saying the last words. This was it 

"I understand." Seokmin said, smiling and reaching to squeeze his hand.

"You do?" 

"I agreed to the deal, but some feelings have changed. We both can see it, it's obvious." Joshua could see him smiling but they both knew it was fake. "I better leave then." 

Joshua watched him leave the room and well, he wasn't that surprised. He had already tried to prepare himself for the worst just in case. It was fair, it was a " _mutual agreement_ ", profitable for both of them from the start. Joshua couldn't blame Seokmin even if he tried, he had been wonderful, doing his part amazingly. But it was just a role so it's not a surprise he was ready to leave as soon as he understood the situation. 

Joshua was a fool, believing that when Seokmin said he belonged to him he meant it, thinking that the love he saw behind his eyes and tasted on his lips was real.

" I'm sorry." Seokmin said, now dressed in his own clothes and Joshua thought he saw a hint of tears behind his eyes, before closing the door from the outside. Joshua was sorry too. He had prepared himself just in case and yet that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It did. It hurt like hell. The air in the apartment around him felt cold now that his sunshine was gone. He had gotten used to the warmth, being happy in the light Seokmin brought with himself wherever he went. Joshua needed to get used to the harsh freezing world all alone again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ "You didn't even say goodbye."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nitWjdEUik)


	12. ""Home."

i.

Working was easier so Joshua did exactly that. Drowned in work he didn't think of him. 

He did that at first at least, he went to work early and stayed till late, some nights he didn't even go home. He did all the paperwork, did all the things that didn't need too much thinking. He doesn't design even a piece, every time he sees the colour red he can feel his heart breaking, every time he sees a specific type of necklace his eyes look away quickly. 

Until there is not much work to do and everyone is constantly telling him to go home and rest. So he does.

And he hates it. 

Because when he is sitting on the couch, he expects Seokmin to knock on the door and come to him. There are still the blankets Seokmin had put on the couch for whenever they doze off while watching tv, cuddled together. Seokmin's toothbrush and shampoo are still in the bathroom, his favourite snacks are still in the counter above the sink and his presence still feels strong around the apartment.

Joshua doesn't even have the courage to go into the bedroom, not when Seokmin's clothes are still neatly folded in the shelf Joshua cleared for him, not when his scent was still on the pillows and under the covers, not when Joshua could remember what he used to have but doesn't anymore. 

So he sleeps in the guest bedroom in his own home. No, his apartment. Jeonghan visits almost every day, or when he can't he calls. It's easier with his company, he doesn't ask too many questions because he knows Joshua. 

Jeonghan insists that Joshua goes out,cheer up a little, so he practically drags him out sometimes. Today he had decided they should visit a café, a cozy small place in a quiet district.It's next to a library so there are mostly young people, some studying, others pretending to do so.

"There are only kids here." Joshua said after a long moment of silence. His coffee was almost empty and he was poking the ice cubes with his straw.

"You are being ridiculous." Jeonghan said and took a sip from his bright pink drink. It was cute, it matched his new hair colour which he had decided on spontaneously while waiting for Joshua at the hairdresser. He had gone for a soft pink which, not surprisingly, looked beautiful on him. Joshua had decided on dark brown. "We can meet someone cute." 

"Don't." Joshua gritted through his teeth, looking away through the window.

"What am I supposed to do Jisoo, you aren't telling me anything." Jeonghan crossed his arms and sank into the chair. "Besides I never said it was for you." He mumbled. 

"There is nothing to say." 

"Really? Because you have been in hell of a mood over nothing. Don't lie to me." 

"I am not. I-" Joshua crossed his fingers in his lap and looked down, knowing that if he looked Jeonghan in the eyes he would know. "I tried to tell him how I feel but he said that he knows already and left."

"Were those his words exactly?' Jeonghan asked.

"Well no, but what does it matter." Jeonghan gave him _the look_ so he continued. "He said that we both could feel that some feelings have changed." 

"What did you say to him before that." Jeonghan was now tapping the table impatiently, looking like a detective from the old movies, just before cracking the case. 

"That I don't want him to be my sugar baby anymore." Joshua frowned, remembering the change of emotion behind Seokmin's eyes after his words.

"And you really don't think he could have interpreted that differently?" Jeonghan scoffed. "Why are you so dull." 

"Thanks." Joshua fake smiled, he definitely could always count on his best friend for undying support and encouragement. 

"You need to talk to him again." Jeonghan said but Joshua didn't answer, opting for getting another coffee. He needed all the energy he could get if Jeonghan were to continue with his self assigned investigation. He really hated being the subject of it, but Jeonghan meant well, even though his methods were sometimes questionable.

Someone crashed into him, breaking the chain of his thoughts. Everything happened quickly, he felt the hot drink spilling over his shirt and noticed the other person dropping their stuff.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." The boy said, turning to grab tissues from the counter and pat the wet shirt that was definitely ruined now. "Are you hurt?" 

"It's fine, it wasn't that hot." Joshua said, taking the tissue and trying to clean himself as best as he could while the boy leaned down to collect his stuff from the ground. 

"I'm really sorry." The boy said when he lifted himself up, he was taller than Joshua with maybe ten centimetres and looked really familiar. "Wait I know you, you are Joshua right?’’

"Yeah?" Joshua said, furrowing his eyebrows. "And you are?"

"I'm Mingyu and I'm definitely not sorry anymore." Joshua definitely knew this name, Seokmin had mentioned him many times but his hair was not red anymore and he looked different, somehow even taller in daylight so Joshua didn't stand a chance at recognizing him at first.

"Excuse me?" Joshua said, surprised.

"You kinda deserved it, for what you did to Seokminnie." Mingyu said, proudly holding his books with his nose pointed up. 

"I didn't do anything to him." 

"Then why can I still hear him crying himself to sleep every night?" 

"Hold up." Joshua said and grabbed Mingyu's hand, dragging him towards their table with Jeonghan. He definitely isn't having this conversation in the middle of the café. 

"Sit." Joshua said. Jeonghan and Mingyu looked equally surprised.

"Don't tell me what to do." Mingyu replied, shaking his hand away from Joshua's grip.

"I'm sorry just-" Joshua's head was starting to hurt. "Please, I need to sort this out." Mingyu didn't answer but sat on the opposite chair next to Jeonghan, placing his books on the table.

"Did something happen to him? " Joshua asked, his mind racing, going through the worst possibilities.

"Apart from getting his heart broken after you broke up with him?" Mingyu growled, crossing his arms. If he wasn't dressed in an oversized baby blue sweater that gave him sweater paws Joshua might have been scared.

"I didn't break up with him, he left me." Joshua groaned, he felt like smashing his head into the table. Why did they have to bring that up a hundred times today?

"He would never do that, he's in love with you, are you blind?" Mingyu said and turned to Jeonghan. "Is he blind?" 

"He's-" Joshua took a breath wide-eyed. "He's not, I tried to tell him I love him but he just left." 

"Shit, so you didn't leave him? In that case I'm sorry for the coffee once again, and also I'm pretty sure he is, trust me, I know my best friend." Mingyu said, scratching the back of his neck. Joshua was left with a loss of words, trying to make sense of what Mingyu was telling him. 

"Joshua." Jeonghan snapped his fingers in front of his face to get his attention. Joshua blinked a few times then looked at him. "Seokmin loves you." He smiled at Joshua.

"He does?" Joshua frowned and Mingyu and Jeonghan nodded in unison. " I need to talk to him and fix this. I-" Joshua stood up, taking his wallet and keys. "I need him."

"I was right once again." Jeonghan smirked, watching Joshua leave with a devilish look in his eyes. "So Mingyu, is your boyfriend as hot as you?" Jeonghan said, turning towards the confused boy and smiling cutely. 

"Even more, he's very cute too." Mingyu said unsuspectingly.

" Really?" Jeonghan smirked again.

ii.

Joshua knew Seokmin's address by heart. He had picked him up many times and is glad it's not that far from the café. He almost runned a red light two times but arrived at Seokmin's apartment complex in one piece without running over anybody so that's a win. He parked in front of the building, not caring if he's getting a ticket, there are more important things on his mind. He opted for the stairs, too impatient to wait for an elevator. 

Soon enough he is in front of Seokmin's door, knocking loudly. He placed a hand on his chest, taking a deep breath. 

_Oh shit._

He was out of breath and probably looked terrible, his shirt was still dirty from the spilled coffee.

The door opened after that and Joshua felt his heart ache. Seokmin looked tired, his hair was a mess and he was wearing his favourite cashmere oversized sweater that he had stolen from Joshua's closet. He blinked a few times and looked speechless at Joshua, the latter didn't know what to say either. 

"Is this the pizza?" Someone said behind Seokmin, peeking behind his shoulder and Joshua hoped that was Mingyu's boyfriend or something.

"No, I'm Joshua." He gave a quick smile to the boy but his eyes quickly returned on Seokmin, who still looked at him confused.

"Oh." The boy said, then realization stuck his eyes. "Oh shit." He said and disappeared.

"Can we talk?" Joshua asked, his eyes soft now that he was alone with Seokmin. Which was not for long because another boy came behind him, this time looking obviously angry. 

"I'm gonna kill you." He said to Joshua, pointing with his finger at him, which was definitely a first impression to remember.

"You can't kill him babe." The other boy said, taking his hand and holding it down.

"Watch me." 

"Hansol is right, no one is killing anybody." Seokmin finally said. " Why don't you guys go start the movie, I'll come in a second."

"Okay." Both boys said, but the angrier one didn't miss throwing Joshua one last dirty look.

"I'm sorry about Seungkwan." Seokmin said, Joshua recognized his name as Seokmin's second cousin maybe?

"It's okay. So, can we?" Joshua asked.

"I don't think it's a good idea." 

" Please." Joshua sighed. "Baby."

Seokmin stiffened hearing his words, wrapping his hands around his body. " _Don't_." He mumbled and Joshua was about to apologize before he spoke again. "Fine." He closed his eyes and exhaled. "Follow me." 

Seokmin led him into what Joshua suspected was his room. It was nice, small but cozy, it smelled like him. His books and laptop were piled up over the desk. There are some clothes that Joshua recognized thrown over a chair and many neatly placed pictures on the walls. There were two blank spots that made sense when Joshua saw the two pictures next to the pillow. One they had taken in Japan and the other one was just a simple morning selca. Seokmin looked very cute on that one. 

Seokmin sat on the bed, hugging his legs and Joshua sat across him, on the other end. He looked so small like that and Joshua just wanted to wrap him in his hands and never let go. 

" Why did you come?" Seokmin asked, his voice quiet and cold in the room. He never talked like that to Joshua but he supposed it was fair. Seokmin didn't even look at him.

"I'm in love with you." Joshua simply stated, not avoiding it this time because that only had brought unnecessary tears and heartache to both of them.

"Y-you-" Seokmin said, turning to stare at Joshua wide eyed, his lips trembling. The look on his face had Joshua's heart pounding against his ribs violently." Don't play with me, please, I can't-" He cried out shaking his head, tears spilling from his beautiful eyes. 

"I'm not baby." Joshua simply couldn't just stand on the side and watch his everything hurting so he climbed closer and removed Seokmin's hands from around his legs, placing them over his shoulders and pulled him in his lap. " It's all a misunderstanding, it's my fault." He said, petting Seokmin's hair while he cried on his shoulder. Joshua was relieved that he didn't push him away, but he never did that. He always was so happy to be touched and to have Joshua's attention on him. He kissed Seokmin's hair and hugged him tighter. 

He had been such a fool, not seeing it sooner. 

" Say it again." Seokmin whispered after he calmed down a little, leaning back to look into Joshua's eyes and clutched his shirt.

"I love you angel." Joshua confessed once again, a few more tears rolled down Seokmin's cheek. Joshua sighed. " Of course I love you, I think I have for a long time but I was too scared to admit it. I have waited for you for so long, all my life, and the thought of you not feeling the same...it broke me angel. It was easier, not knowing."

Seokmin moved his hands and cupped his face, stroking his jaw line gently. He didn't move his eyes away from Joshua's, somehow analyzing if his words were true, if he should believe, if he really was hearing them.

"I love you too." Seokmin then said and Joshua felt like a rock was lifted from his heart. Joshua kissed him, because he wanted, because he needed. His lips were just as soft and warm as he remembered, mingled with the salty tears. They broke apart and Joshua runned his thumb through his bottom lip, not with the intention of implying anything, he just wanted to.

" I think we were meant to meet each other in that bar." Joshua said, looking up from his lips into his eyes and moving his hand to tenderly stroke his hair."I think we were just two lonely souls looking for a place, a home. And I'm so sorry for hurting you, because baby,you gave me that."Joshua covered Seokmin's hand on his neck and bringed it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. "Home." He closed his eyes and breathed." I want to be that for you too, only if you let me?" 

Joshua squeezed his waist when he heard the quiet sob. Seokmin nodded, brushing off his tears with the sleeve of his sweater.

" Yeah, I would like that." Seokmin said, brushing off a tear Joshua hadn't senced rolling down his cheek and kissed the place after. " I would be a good home for you Shua, I'll always protect your heart now that I have it." Joshua leaned into the touch.

"Oh baby, you have had it for a long time, I was always yours." 

"Mine." Seokmin hummed and pressed their lips together. He wanted to say so many things, but didn't know how. So he kissed Joshua, pouring all his heart into the kiss. He kissed him and it was alright. Suddenly the world didn't seem so cold surrounded by his arms.

Joshua now knew why Seokmin always kissed him like he was in love. 

Because he was, he loved Joshua so much. 

Seokmin licked Joshua's bottom lip and runned his fingers over his chest, he knew by heart how to get what he wanted from Joshua. It was such a contrast from the first time they met.

"What happened to the shy boy I met at the bar?" Joshua teased,getting a small smile from the other. Good, he loved when Seokmin was happy."You blushed just because I flirted with you, it was so cute, I knew I wanted to have you then." 

"What if I flirted back, with you and all the other guys that tried their shot? Or girls?" Seokmin teased back and Joshua's eyes went dark. " I bet you don't want anyone else having me."

"You really are dangerous baby." Joshua tightened his grip and breathed agains his neck before kissing the delicate skin over his Adams apple. Seokmin moved his hands to his shirt, undoing the first buttons. 

"What happened?" He frowned, touching the semi sticky stain with his finger. 

"I met Mingyu." Joshua laughed.

"Oh, that explains everything." Seokmin said and Joshua didn't know if he was talking about his shirt or the sudden change of events."I like your hair like that." Seokmin runned his hand through his hair and Joshua closed his eyes, humming pleasantly at the touch. "It looks sexy." 

Joshua moved the hem of the sweater and inspected Seokmin's neck. The marks had faded up and Joshua really felt the need to leave at least one new. He kissed, bitted and sucked, mumbling sweet words every time he parted with his skin to take a breath. After all Joshua loved Seokmin in red the most.

He hummed pleasantly at the red skin and blew cold air on it, making tingles run through Seokmin's body. He undid his buttons finally, throwing the dirty shirt away. Joshua laid him back on the mattress, caging Seokmin with his body and kissed him. Seokmin runned his fingers over the hot skin on Joshua's back, scratching with his nails over his shoulder blades. The bottom of his sweater rose up and Joshua stroked the exposed skin above the waistband of Seokmins pijama pants. 

" I missed you so much baby." Joshua said, brushing a few hairs away from Seokmin's face and kissed his temple.

"Missed you too." Seokmin said, wrapping his arms and legs around Joshua's body so tight that he felt like he couldn't breathe. If he died might as well be here in his favourite place. Seokmin moved his hips after that and Joshua knew what he wanted. 

"We can't."Joshua said, lowering himself to nuzzle Seokmin's nose."Your friends are next room."

"Shit, I thought you were gonna tell me to be patient again." Seokmin smiled.

"Well that too."

"This doesn't work anymore, not since I've had a taste of you." Seokmin pouted and Joshua pecked his lips. "I can throw them out?"He said and Joshua laughed. He was cute when he was impatient and needy. 

"Let's just lay like that for a while, I really missed you."

"You already said that." 

"So much." Joshua said and placed his head on Seokmin's chest, listening to his heartbeat while the other runned his hand through his hair. Joshua reached and took his other hand, intertwining their fingers and pulling them close to his lips. The comfortable silence and warmth drowned them until they both felt really tired. 

"When?" Seokmin asked and Joshua hummed, lifting his head to look at him."When did you start loving me?" 

Joshua thought about it, somehow he remembered always loving Seokmin, but he reckons that is a reflection of his feelings now. " It didn't happen suddenly, I guess I fell into you step by step, I think I started to suspect my feelings when I heard you sing for the first time." Joshua said and caressed his cheek. " When did you knew?"

"On that day, when you found me in your bed. I had cried myself to sleep. I knew I needed only you then and you took care of me, gave me sweet words and warm embrace to shelter myself." Seokmin gave him the sweetest smile. "I wanted to say it then. I love you." Seokmin said tenderly and pulled him up for a kiss.

Joshua fell asleep first after that, drunk off Seokmin's smell all around him and his fingers in his hair. He was still on top of Seokmin, his skin warm under his fingers. He covered Joshua with the blanket, fearing he would catch a cold. It should be uncomfortable, falling asleep with a person on top of you but it isn't. Not when he had longed for Joshua every night for so long. Not when he loved him so much. Not when he could finally call Joshua "his" .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ "Cuz I'm your home."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9VDPMk5ls0)
> 
> -  
> ik it's kinda cheesy don't hate me too much <3


	13. "Can I take you on a date?"

i.

"Shua?"

"Yes baby?" Joshua said, not taking his eyes off the laptop. The following day of their "make up" Joshua had received a call from his assistant with another work emergency so he had snuck out quickly,not waking up Seokmin. So when he got up wanting nothing more than to see Joshua next to him he had been very disappointed.

But he understood, Joshua's work was very important to him so he waited patiently while he was extremely busy these past few days, including today. 

"Can we take a break?" Seokmin said. He was writing a lab report for one of his chemistry classes and seriously needed a break. Joshua had offered he came over and do his homework at his place so they could spend at least a few minutes together

"Uh, sure." Joshua said, taking a double look on his laptop but closed it anyway."Come here." He reached his hand and pulled Seokmin between his legs once he was close enough, placing his hands on the back of his thighs."How's the homework going?"

"Fine." Seokmin said and dipped down, kissing him softly. Joshua being absent always made him wanna do nothing else but this. "Can I ask you something?" He said, carding his fingers through the hairs on Joshua's neck 

"Of course baby."

"Are you like my boyfriend now?" Seokmin asked, an awkward smile spreading on his lips.

"Do you want me to be?" Joshua smiled and squeezed the back of his thighs. Seokmin nodded."Then yes, I am your boyfriend." Seokmin's smile grew and he placed his hands on Joshua's shoulders.

"Can I take you on a date then?" He said, out of the blue. Joshua looked up at him confused.

"I know I've been busy lately angel but we have gone to plenty of dates already." Joshua stood up and cupped his cheek, caressing his earlobe with his thumb.

"No, _you've_ taken me to plenty of dates. Now that you are officially my boyfriend I wanna take you out too." Seokmin said shyly, it was kinda dumb, saying it out loud but it made sense in his head.

"Okay."Joshua wrapped his hands around his waist, linking them on the curve of his back.

"Okay?"

"Yeah baby, you can take me on a date." Joshua laughed softly and Seokmin kissed him quickly.

"Friday." He said, escaping Joshua's grip and walking to the table to collect his notes."I'll text you the details." He said and left. Joshua looked at him surprised as he accidentally slammed the front door. He crossed his hands and leaned on the desk, staring at the closet door. No one had taken him out on a date since forever.

ii.

The excitement is replaced by panic quickly after Seokmin realized he had no idea where to take Joshua. He thought of maybe a fancy dinner,but they almost always did that plus he doesn't have enough money in his account to take Joshua to where he is used to. Sure he had a lot of the money Joshua transferred him weekly saved up but he doesn't want to use them for the date. Somehow it's not right.

So that idea goes in the trash. He even asked his friends, which didn't work too because he definitely isn't taking Joshua to the bookstore or the zoo. Thank you very much Wonwoo and Mingyu.

On Thursday night just before he gave up and called Joshua to apologize it hit him. He shouldn't try to impress him or be something he's not because Joshua already loved him.

Seokmin woke up early in the morning to prepare all the stuff he needed for the date. He showered, taking his time so the hot water eased his nerves a little bit. He fixed his hair and put on just some simple black jeans with a casual floral pattern shirt and his most comfortable shoes. He even put on the black necklace from Joshua because he liked it when Seokmin wore them.

Joshua is here to pick him up on time as always. He smiled as soon as he caught Seokmin's eyes and he's just so beautiful. Seokmin still wondered how he got so lucky. He looked stunning in even just simple jeans and blazer, and oh god is his shirt under the blazer see through? 

"Hey baby." He said and Seokmin wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly.

"Hey."He said against Joshua's lips and his smile is the most marvelous sight Seokmin has seen. "I'm sorry I didn't pick you up."

"It's okay." He said and nuzzled his nose. God Seokmin is so in love."Where are we going, wanna drive?" 

"Is it okay if we leave the car, it's not that far away?" 

"Sure." Joshua offered his hand which Seokmin accepted easily, intertwining their fingers."What's the bag for?" 

"Patience."Seokmin teased and squeezed Joshua's hand.

And so they walked, hand in hand, through calm streets with little shops in every corner. The weather thankfully is nice, it's not too cold nor too hot, sometimes the sun sneaked a few sunrays down, behind the thick fluffy clouds. There are even birds singing from the tall crowns of the trees.

Seokmin opened the door to the little bakery for Joshua because he always did it on their dates too, receiving a heartwarming smile. It was a small store, nothing too special starting from the handwritten sign over the door to the differently colored chairs around the tables. However something inside this cozy place always brought comfort to Seokmin. Maybe it was the delicious smell in the air, of coffee beans and freshly baked cookies or maybe it was the overall peace the place gave him. He remembers sitting on the furthest table next to the window almost every time he had to study for an important exam.

"Seokmin!" A dark haired girl said as soon as they walked in, coming out from behind the counter and hugging Seokmin. "It has been forever."

"It really has, I'm sorry." Seokmin said, breaking the hug and taking her hands in his. She looked really short next to him, she was insanely beautiful too. 

"Who is that?" The girl said, peeking around Seokmin and looking at Joshua,who smiled at her 

"This is Joshua." Seokmin said, walking to stand next to Joshua. "My boyfriend." He added shyly and looked at the ground.

"Shut up!" The girl semi screamed, freaking out the few people that were quietly drinking their coffee. "I knew you liked guys, just wait until I tell Siyeon she was wrong" She said and disappeared , leaving behind a very embarrassed Seokmin and confused Joshua.

"This is Bora, she's a good friend of mine and Siyeon is her girlfriend." He explained after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Here, your usual, on the house." Bora said after she hung up the phone, putting a box of cookies in a bag."Siyeon says hi by the way, she's happy she's wrong too." And with that she disappeared again, walking towards a table to clean it after the people left.

"She's a lot, I'm sorry." Seokmin said a few minutes after they had left the bakery.

“Its okay”

iii.

“It's not much”

It really wasn't anything spectacular, just a simple picnic in Seokmin's favourite park. He had made some little sandwiches and cut fruit for a fruit plate early in the morning, there was some cheese and meat that he had read went well with wine and his favourite peanut butter cookies were the cherry on top. It wasn't fancy or crazily expensive but he had made it from his heart, with his own hands and he hoped Joshua would understand.

"It's amazing." Joshua said, sitting on the blanket and crossing his legs. He poured both of them some of the wine and gave the glass to Seokmin. "I've never been to a picnic."

"Really?" Seokmin took a sip of the drink, he really hoped it was good, the person in the liquor shop had said it was the best they had. 

"Not a real one at least, with a blanket and little sandwiches." It was really nice, the sun brought the needed warmth and the huge tree they had sat under gave a pleasant shadow. The air around them was fresh, a much needed change from the big city outside the park. There were some flowers peeking over the green grass. Occasionally a person passed them, walking their dog or being out for a run in nature. It was calm and relaxing, like a little new world in an otherwise always loud city.

"I loved going on picnics when I was little." Seokmin said, taking a little wild strawberry with a fruit fork and feeding it to Joshua who ate it happily. He hummed at the sweet fruit and nodded for Seokmin to go on. "My mom started taking me on picnics when she got sick, I didn't know at the time, I just enjoyed the attention and spending time with her." Joshua looked at him and reached his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"You don't have to talk about it." 

"It's fine. ‘’He said and the cornenrs on his mouth lifted up in a reassuring smile.”You know, people say it becomes easier with time, getting over someone who is gone." Seokmin squeezed his hand and stroked his skin with his thumb. "It doesn't, you just learn to live with the pain."

"Oh angel, I knew something was wrong but I didn't suspect.."Seokmin shook his head,there were no tears in his eyes, a result of learning how to surpass them and be strong all these years.

"Don't be sad, my grandparents did a wonderful job raising me, I'm proud to have them." 

"They sure did baby." Joshua lifted his hand and kissed the back of it. "I should really give them a call and thank them." He joked.

"It's only my grandma now but would you really? I know you are kidding but one day I would love both of you to meet each other." Seokmin said, his eyes sparking and his little pout full of hope.

"I-" Joshua blinked and furrowed his eyebrows."No one has ever wanted me to meet their family" A warm feeling spreaded through Joshua's chest. ‘’I would love that.’’

They talk about lighter stuff afterwards and Joshua eventually laid his head on Seokmin's lap while the other played with his hair and occasionally fed him a fruit or a cookie. It was really lovely. Joshua really needed the sun and fresh air. He felt at peace here. 

He felt in love. So much in love.

iii.

They walked to Seokmin's apartment a few hours later when the sun had started casting an orange glow on the horizon and the sky had begun to darken.

"I had a really great time today, thank you for the date angel." Joshua unlocked his car and leaned onto it, pulling Seokmin closer to kiss his temple. 

"Really? I'm so glad." He said and leaned into Joshua, kissing him slowly and letting his lips linger a little too long. "I should go then." Seokmin whispered, hot breath touching Joshua's lips and his fingers feeling cold on his cheek.

"You can come over tonight, if you want of course." Joshua finally said, running his hand over Seokmin's arm.

"I should really think about it." Seokmin said, already on his way to the passenger seat. He buckled his belt and smiled expectantly at Joshua through the window.

The drive was quiet, a muffled love song was playing on the radio and Joshua's hand was a constant yet tempting weight on his thigh. The street lights painted the roads in beautiful colours.

Joshua parked as quickly as possible and they stumbled into the elevator, which sadly was occupied by a person already. Joshua holded Seokmin close by the waist and the seconds felt like hours. 

Joshua unlocked the door eagerly quick and Seokmin found himself pressed between it and Joshua as soon as it's closet and it's such a fucking relief. His hands snake under the blazer, touching Joshua's ribs through the see-through material. His fingers are warm now and such a nice familiar presence on Joshua's skin. They clumsily take off their shoes and Joshua takes off his jacket, still not breaking the kiss trail he is leaving over Seokmin's jaw. It's nice, he had really missed Joshua's lips on his skin, mapping and claiming what was already his.

Seokmin gasped when Joshua wrapped his hands around the back of his thighs, picked him up and carried him through the apartment towards his room. It was surprising, Joshua was visibly strong but Seokmin didn't expect him to do that. It was also extremely hot. He wrapped his legs tightly around Joshua's waist, who then closed the bedroom door with his leg and pushed him against the closest wall. It's not painful at all, Joshua had put his hand so his head doesn't hit the surface. Joshua kissed him and Seokmin replied with soft keen, hands traveling to Joshua's neck.

"I'll take you to bed angel, is that okay?'" Joshua asked so he nodded enthusiastically, licking his damp lips, because yes it was okay, it was more than okay. Joshua laid him carefully on the bed and Seokmin pulled him on top, kissing him softly. He took the hem of Joshua's shirt and pulled it over his head, not caring to bother with buttons, tossing it onto the ground. His hands travel through his beautiful skin, nails scratching his back fairly and he let his hands rest on Joshua's sides.

He whimpered into the kiss and pushed Joshua to lay onto the bed, switching their positions. He quickly climbed over him and straddled his hips with his thighs. Joshua sucked a breath and watched him, his eyes dark and beautiful.

"Okay baby, have it your way." He said, reaching to fondle his neck and jaw, the sides of his mouth curving in a smile.

"Off."Joshua said demindingly, so Seokmin complied, taking off his shirt in a matter of seconds." All of them." 

Seokmin's stomach jumped with excitement, Joshua's voice was low and alluring and so so hot. His hands are shaking with excitement and travel to the button of his pants. "Let me help you." Joshua muttered and stood up, catching his lips in another kiss. His fingers are quick and soon he's guiding Seokmin to lift up, pulling his clothes down, one leg after another.

"Pretty little thing."Joshua said as his eyes were traveling over his body followed by his hands. His fingers graze from his chest to his hips and on the back of his thighs, squeezing them gently. Seokmin smiled coyly and pushed Joshua on the bed again, pressing down against his body as he leaned down kissing him. His back curves under Joshua's touch on his spine. His lips travel to kiss Joshua's neck and collarbones, starting to roll his hips, slow and sensual. The motion is unforgiving but he doesn't stop, hoping the press of fabric from Joshua's pants against him makes it even more maddening. 

Joshua is breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling quickly. Seokmin breathed onto his skin, leaving wet kisses under his collarbones. One of Joshua's hands travelled down over his butt and he tugged Seokmin down flush against him, making moving almost impossible. Seokmin whined, reaching behind and moving Joshua's hand over his waist again and proceeding to move his hips, this time even more enthusiastic after getting the response he had hoped for. He wanted exactly that, to ruin Joshua and have him needy under him, just like he made him. He bit the skin on his shoulder and licked over it. The low moan he got was like music for his ears.

Joshua let out a slow breath once Seokmin went down his body, leaving open mouthed kisses to every inch of skin he could. Joshua lifted his hips when Seokmin tugged at his pants and then took them off, all of it. He lowered himself to kiss over the skin on his hip bone. He wrapped his hand around Joshua and looked up at him. He was watching Seokmin with half lidded eyes,his chest raising and falling quickly. It was hot, so hot. He lowered himself and kissed the same spot,taking his time and still not moving his hand.

"Fuck." Joshua groaned and pulled him up, kissing him harsh and quick. He bit Seokmin's bottom lip roughly,almost drawing blood. "You are being a very bad boy angel, teasing me like that." He said, running his thumb over Seokmin's poor bottom lip. He took Joshua's finger in his mouth and sucked on it happily, circling his tongue and not breaking eye contact. Joshua watched him attentively and smirked. "I should punish you." 

"What?" Seokmin said, surprised, releasing Joshua's finger. "No." He whined and shook his head.

"Oh but it's too late baby." Joshua said gently and kissed his lips softly. He held Seokmin's gaze and started petting his head, tugging at the hair on the back when he reached. "What should I do angel? Should I have you suck me on your knees on the ground?" He said and Seokmin nodded, excitement behind his eyes. "You would love that, wouldn't you?" Seokmin nodded again and tried to kiss Joshua but he stopped him, tugging at his hair. "Oh I know." Joshua said, a dangerous spark behind his eyes as he reached over him, pulling a bottle from his nightstand. He stood up with Seokmin still in his lap and took his hand, placing the bottle in his palm. Seokmin looked at him confused."I want you to show me how you touch yourself thinking of me." 

Seokmin's body physically jolts at his words,his cheeks flushing pink. Joshua's words replay in his head, he definitely can't do this. "I can't do that in front of you." He whispered shyly, looking down at the bottle in his hand.

Joshua lifted his chin up and looked at him, licking his lips. He stroked his cheek with his thumb and smiled. "Of course you can babyboy." Joshua said and pressed their foreheads together. "For me." He said and even though it's a punishment of a kind, Seokmin still can hear the love and adoration in his voice.

Seokmin obeys, of course he does. Joshua leaned back over the headboard, one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach, like he's about to watch the show of a lifetime. Seokmin is still straddling his hips so he lifts himself a little, fingers hesitating while opening the bottle. He avoids eye contact but can feel Joshua's piercing gaze on him as he reached his hand behind himself, pushing a finger. His stomach tensed and he let out a gasp. He started moving his hand,his back curving from the familiar feeling and he closed his eyes. When he had touched himself like that a while ago he had to close his eyes and imagine it was Joshua doing it, his strong arms holding him secure and his long fingers working inside. But now as he opened his eyes Joshua was watching him with a hooded gaze and a smug look on his face. He can't reach and have him because it's a punishment. His breath twitched as he added a second finger and felt Joshua move under him, standing up and reaching to touch his cheek. "So pretty." He said and ran his hand down Seokmin's chest and nipples, then hooking a finger under his chocker to hold his neck. "How do you feel baby?" He asked, being so close that Seokmin could feel his breath. He swallowed back and just moaned quietly, being too embarrassed to form a word. He circled his fingers and pushed even deeper but it didn't work, not in this position, not when he knew he could have Joshua doing that for him instead. And the thing is he can feel Joshua hard under him and he knows he would love doing it for him but is holding himself just because Seokmin needed to be punished. 

"I'm sorry." He almost cried out, taking his fingers out and wrapping his hands around Joshua's neck, sitting flush in his lap and tugging him closer. "Please, I'll behave, I'll be good for you, just please." 

"Okay babyboy." Joshua smiled and nuzzled his nose. "We both know I can't refuse you." Joshua linked their lips and kissed him, licking into his mouth deliciously. He coats his fingers and holds Seokmin tightly with his other hand. He moved his fingers quickly and roughly but still kissed Seokmin gently and holded him securely. "You are such a good boy, opening up for me so nicely." Joshua coos at him, adding another finger unforgivingly and Seokmin feels like he's about to cry but what's new. There is the harsh burning feeling from before but he ignored it, startling to move his hips on Joshua's fingers. He lowered himself and kissed Joshua's shoulder, hiding in the crook of his neck. He's leacking steadily over both their skin and feels like he's about to come soon but can't find the strength to tell Joshua. 

"Tell me what you want angel?"Joshua said as if on cue, taking out his fingers and Seokmin almost whined at the loss.

"Can I-"He said, trying to normalise his breath. He definitely knows what he wants but doesn't know how. " I wanna ride you." He decided.

"You sure?"Joshua said, surprised, definitely not expecting that . 

"Please?"

"Sure baby, it would be a pleasure."Joshua smirked and handed him a condom. He rolled it quickly, adding lube and tugging a few times roughly, receiving a discounted sound from Joshua at his action. Seokmin then adjusted himself and placed his hands on Joshua's chest, pushing him to lay fully on the bed. There is a little hesitation behind his eyes. 

"I'm sorry if I'm bad at it." He whispered.

"I'm sure you'll do amazing angel, just looking at you like that is enough to take my breath away." Joshua reassured him, his hands on his hips giving an encouraging squeeze. Seokmin looked at his eyes, he needed to make sure Joshua meant it because he doesn't want anything else but to make him feel good. His body, his heart, everything belonged to the man under him.

He lowered himself slowly, trying to not jump at the pain. He spread his thighs even more, biting his lip when he felt like he can't take it anymore further.

But he wants, he wants more, he wants everything.

Joshua is drawing circles on his skin patiently, watching him attentively, not moving even a centimeter. Seokmin knew he was holding himself down for him again and is so grateful.

It's tight and wet and very very hot. Joshua moaned when Seokmin gave an experimental roll of his hips. He had his eyes closed and his head was rolled back, his tongue was peeking out on the right side of his mouth. Joshua did not lie when he said the view was breathtaking. Then Seokmin lowered himself, now fully on his lap and Joshua let out a groan at the contact.

"Shit baby, are you okay?" He asked after seeing the clear look of pain on his boyfriend's face. Hurting Seokmin was the last thing he would do, even if that meant putting a stop right this second. He lifted himself and cupped his face. "Baby?" He said and Seokmin thankfully opened his eyes and put a finger over his lips. 

"Would you chill a little, it's the second time I'm doing it, of course it would hurt at first." He said and Joshua bursted into laughter, laying back and covering his face with his hand.

It took a few more minutes of adjusting and getting used to the feeling. Seokmin started rolling his hips,slow and measured, his hands on Joshua's chest for stability. Joshua's hands are back on his hips, digging in the flesh rough enough to leave a mark with every motion. Seokmin lifted himself up and sank back down, soft content sounds leaving his lips. Joshua rolled his head back and closed his eyes because it's too much, feeling Seokmin on top of him is one thing but watching him curve his spine and bite his lip is another.

"No, I want you to watch me Shua, please." His voice broke on the last word, replaced by a silent moan on the back of his throat. Joshua of course can't refuse him so he opened his eyes and watched him. Seokmin ran a hand through his hair,which was now damp with sweat.

"Fuck baby, you are doing incredible." He praised and Seokmin lowered himself to catch lips into a kiss, arching his back so he could still move, even though it's slower. He pecks Joshua's lips lightly and just enjoys the quiet moans he makes against his lips every time he pressed a little more. 

He lifted himself up after catching his breath for a second and sped up his movements slightly, watching pleased Joshua rolling his head back again, exposing his throat. His whole skin is shiny with sweat and Seokmin ran his fingers over his neck, down his chest and laced their fingers on his hips 

He is looking at Joshua down, a little content smile on his lips, the choker hugging his neck perfectly and the little pendant dancing with his rhythm. He looks stunning and fucking dangerous. Joshua tried rocking his hips up a few times but Seokmin didn't let him, escaping the contact if he wasn't the one doing it. 

Joshua realized two things. First Seokmin is beautiful like that but that's a given and second he is fucking doing it on purpose, getting his little revenge on Joshua by giving him something but not enough.

So Joshua just laid there and greedily took everything that was offered to him, trying to help Seokmin move his hips a little faster with his hands. He escaped Seokmin's grip on his hands, moving his hands to touch the back of his thighs which is good because he gets a better grip like that and helps him move even quicker.

Eventually Seokmin gave up on the teasing because he is just a man after all and leaned down, kissing the curve of Joshua's mouth as a peace offering and letting him guide them. Joshua felt lost, lost in the friction, the hot wet feeling and the damp tan skin under his fingers. 

"Kiss me." Seokmin begged, voice a mess and a tear rolling down his cheek because everything was too much. Joshua sealed their lips in a wet kiss and thought he heard Seokmin mewl when he slipped his tongue over his. It's hard kissing like that but Joshua is determined to make it work.

_It's too much._

Joshua lifted himself up so they were both sitting and put his hands on his hips again, starting to practically lift Seokmin up and push him down while he sucked his bottom lip, nails crawling in the skin of his back and bicep. Joshua's touch is rough and possessive and everything Seokmin had hoped for. Joshua could feel him leaking over his stomach so he wrapped a hand around him and started moving his wrist in the rhythm of his thrusts. 

A new wave of energy ran through Seokmin's body then so he started moving quicker, bouncing in Joshua's lap with no mercy.

"Fuck baby I-" Joshua said and bit his lip, lifting his head, which was great because Seokmin claimed his neck, kissing and biting needily. He felt like he's definitely gone. "You -fuck. Wow." Joshua doesn't know what he's even saying anymore. Seokmin leaned back to watch him and ran a hand through his hair. He's never seen Joshua lose his words yet so that means he's doing something good. With determination in his eyes he placed his hands on Joshua's shoulders for leverage, moving quicker, going down harder and not holding back anything for Joshua.

Joshua gave out first, coming hard with a curse so loud Seokmin feared his neighbours would definitely hear. He didn't stop after that, still moving his hips and sending Joshua in a haze of overstimulation. He wrapped his hand around himself and in a few quick, steady flicks of his wrist he came over Joshua's stomach,making a mess over the silk sheets.

He felt dizzy after that, practically collapsing over Joshua who wrapped him in his hands and laid them both back. Joshua's breathing is the only thing keeping him sane and grounded, his voice telling him he is _such a good boy, his pretty little good boy_ felt distant but very appreciated.

He regains enough strength to pull off Joshua eventually, hissing at the pain. He could climb off him but he doesn't, longing for aftercare and a few more kisses. Their breathing normalised after a few quiet moments and Seokmin purrs at Joshua's fingers in his damp hair.

"Was it good?" Seokmin asked, lifting his head to look at Joshua.

"Good? Baby, it was out of this world, I've never had it better in my life." Joshua said, taking his hand and kissing the back of it. Seokmin wanted to believe him, he may not be his first lover but he planned on being the last, being the best at it was just a nice bonus. 

"I love you." Seokmin smiled and nuzzled his head into the crook of Joshua's shoulder.

"I love you too baby, so much."


	14. "Ah! Love-"

i.

It was finally over. Seokmin silently watched as his professor was closing the envelope with his answer sheet and put it on top of the pile next to the computer. He quietly left the room and walked down the corridor and out of the building with his head down and a frown on his face.

Joshua was outside, sitting on a bench close to his car. He had dropped him off earlier and had promised to be here for when Seokmin's exam finished. Joshua saw him coming, locked his phone and stood up, Seokmin walked straight to him and into his arms. He placed his hands on Joshua's chest and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Joshua wrapped him tightly in his arms and kissed his head.

"I'm gonna fail." Seokmin mumbled.

“You will not." Joshua said and petted his hair." You studied so hard these past two months, I'm sure you did great angel.''

Seokmin knew that, he had studied every day to the point that whenever he turned he saw structural formulas and microscopic pictures of cells around him. He felt like he knew every chapter in his books by heart. Joshua was a great help too. Seokmin had practically moved into his apartment because it was more quiet, well amongst other reasons. Joshua was at work throughout the day but when he got home he quizzed Seokmin on what he had on schedule for the day and gave him kisses when he got the answers right, he made him snacks or had food delivered to his place for Seokmin. He was so extremely grateful for Joshua.

" I think I did well but I thought that last year too, for one of my chem exams but I failed and had to retake it." Seokmin pouted and looked up at Joshua.

"See, even if you fail, which I'm sure you didn't, you can always retake it." Joshua lifted his hands to cup his face.

"But I don't wanna." He was still pouting. "I just want it to be finally over." Seokmin knew he was acting childish but he really wanted it to end. He had already prepared his internship applications, he just needed his diploma with the results of every final exam. 

But he couldn't do anything about it so he just wrapped his hands around Joshua and let himself be babied for a little while.

"How about we go home and cuddle, I took the day off." Joshua rubbed his back, his voice soft.

"I guess." Seokmin said, fake sniffing. "Can we watch the movie about King Arthur, it's my favourite?"

"Of course baby." 

"Can I have ice cream as well?" He said with his sweet voice for whenever he needed Joshua to do something for him. It always worked.

"Yes, I think we have strawberry one too." 

"I want popcorn too, with extra butter.''He smirked against Joshua's neck, glad the other couldn't see him. 

"You know I can feel you smiling right, you little devil."Joshua said jokingly and Seokmin looked at him 

"I am not, I am sad." He crossed his arms and looked away, pouting again. Joshua cooed at him and tried to kiss his cheek but Seokmin escaped. "Tell me I'm not.''

"Okay." Joshua sighed but had a smile on his lips. He pulled him closer and cupped his face again. "Baby, you are my angel." Joshua kissed him sweetly and maybe he could forget about everything else for a little while.

ii.

"It hurts." Seokmin said.

"Well if you listen to me and let me handle it it wouldn't." 

"Ow." Seokmin cried out." Joshua I swear to God if you poke me with that thing one more time I'm never letting you touch me again." 

"Fine " Joshua said and stood up from where he was kneeling on the ground."Also they are called pins and I need them to take your measurements properly." Joshua placed his pincushion on his desk, now almost empty, which Seokmin thought, was understandable given the fact that Joshua had decided to turn him into one. He carefully stepped down from the podium and was walking like a little penguin, trying to not hurt himself again. 

"Don't laugh at me and come take this hedgehog fur off me." Seokmin said after he heard Joshua quietly giggling behind his back. 

"Hedgehogs don't have fur." Joshua said and picked up his notebook, writing the last measurement. "I'm busy, stop complaining and undress yourself." 

“Oh boo hoo like you wouldn't jump at that suggestion any day." 

Joshua gave him _the look_ he did when Seokmin wasn't behaving but closed his notebook, walking to him. He took off Seokmin's jacket carefully, placing it on the couch, then unbuttoned his shirt and slided it down his arms, trying his best to not scratch him with a pin.

"I don't understand why you have to go through all that trouble, I could just wear the previous suit you made me, or borrow one of yours."Seokmin said, trying not to react when Joshua unbuttoned his pants and squatted down, pulling them off carefully as well.

"Because one of the perks of having a boyfriend in fashion is to always have the best clothes, I want you to look dashing on your graduation day, right leg up." Seokmin followed the instruction, placing his hand on Joshua's shoulder for balance. 

"I'm not sure if I'll even go if I fail the last exam." He said, lifting his other leg too. 

"Oh you are, now dress yourself or you need me to do that too."Joshua said, taking the clothes and throwing them over a rack with hangers. 

"Fine." Seokmin huffed while putting on his black jeans, his lips pursed. "Why are you so mean today?" He asked, his back turned to Joshua.

There was silence in the room, Seokmin had his head turned to the door but could feel Joshua's eye's on him. He heard the sound of a laptop closing and paper hitting the desk. He saw with his peripheral vision Joshua rolling his sleeves and walking to the couch, collapsing on it with a grunt. Seokmin looked at him as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You are right." Joshua said. " I had a shitty day but that's not an excuse to take it on you." 

"It isn't." Seokmin nodded, turning fully to face him but keeping his chin up and crossing his arms.

"Come here." Joshua tapped his lap but Seokmin wasn't gonna give in that easily. It was wrong of Joshua to treat him like that. He lifted his chin up higher. "I'm sorry." Joshua said softly and Seokmin looked at him. His eyes looked gentle and his lap looked really comfortable right now. 

No, he wasn't gonna give in.

" _Babyboy_.''

Next time he wasn't gonna give in.

He walked to the couch defeated and straddled his lap, wrapping his hands around Joshua's neck and kissing him. Seokmin sometimes hated how weak he was when it came to Joshua. It wasn't something he refused to accept or acknowledge. If it was any other person it would have been dangerous, toxic even. 

But when it came to Joshua everything was different. He was different. Joshua was gentle and loving, always putting Seokmin first and the only person that made his heart feel at peace so being vulnerable and real around him came naturally.

“I really am sorry sweetheart, you are worth so much, don't let anyone make you feel bad, including me." Joshua said and fondled his cheek. 

“It's okay." Seokmin said sweetly, it really was."Sorry for kicking your arm when you poked me with the needle earlier. " Joshua laughed.

"That's fine, I've had it worse." Joshua said and pulled him, linking their lips. 

He kissed him gently with soft little pecs and stroked his neck. Seokmin whined,eager for more so Joshua laid him back on the couch and slowly licked his bottom lip and sucked his tongue. God why was he so good at that? Seokmin chased his lips when he pulled away to kiss his cheek, the side of his mouth, neck. 

Joshua kissed him behind the ear which he perfectly knew was one of his sweet spots. He bit his lip and moaned, it was like electricity running under his skin. 

"Ah! Love-" _that._ He was gonna say but his annoying phone had to ring. Fucking perfect. Joshua lifted himself and took the phone from the table and gave it to him, sitting across on the couch. 

"It's Grandma."Seokmin jumped up and cleared his voice as well as he could. 

"Hello." He said in his sweetest voice. "How are you Grandma?" 

Joshua watched him walk through the room, nodding and humming. It was good that it wasn't a video call because he was still shirtless and his lips were kinda red. 

("Yes I'm with Jisoo,I visited at work." He bited his finger. 

"No, we were just having lunch."

"Yes, we're both eating well."

"No you really don't have to- okay." )

"Anyways I really have to go now." Seokmin said and finally sat down."Okay I will. " Seokmin looked at him, nervous. "Bye, love you too." 

"She says hi, are you mad?" He said as he placed his phone down.

"Why would I be mad?" 

"Because I told her about you before asking for permission." Seokmin sounded anxious.

"I'm not mad baby,just-"Joshua said and took his hand." Does your Grandma know I'm a man?"

"Oh." Seokmin sighed. "Yes, of course she knows, I told her from the start." Seokmin beamed and squeezed his hand. 

“And she is okay with that?" Joshua said carefully, he knew Seokmin really wanted him to meet her but didn't know if his boyfriend knew that some people are not really okay with their relationship. Joshua was worried, Seokmin loved her more than anything and Joshua didn't know if he would be able to pick up the pieces after such heartbreak.

"Well yeah, back then she didn't fully understand what bisexual really meant but she knows now." He laughed. " When I told her she said I'm just too loveable." 

Joshua looked at him. He was smiling so bright and was so beautiful, he was so glad his Grandma had accepted him, Seokmin truly was the kindest and warmest person and he deserved nothing but happiness. Joshua pulled him in a tight hug,which took him by surprise but Seokmin returned the hug happily. 

‘’I'm so glad baby, I was worried when you called me by my Korean name." Joshua said against his hair. 

"Oh that.'' Seokmin pulled back, keeping his hands on Joshua's shoulders. "She was concerned that you are a foreigner so I told her, hope it's okay?"

"So she accepted that I'm a guy but drew the line at that." Joshua really laughed this time. This whole thing was so great and ridiculous. 

‘’Well she would have eventually accepted it, as long as I'm happy." Seokmin adored Joshua's laugh because he didn't let himself be like that often, but lately it was better and better." You'll meet her at my graduation, I hope you don't mind her calling you Jisoo though." 

"Do you think she'll like me?" Joshua asked, pulling Seokmin in his lap again and running his hands over his ribs. 

"Oh believe me she does." Seokmin said and Joshua looked at him questionably. "You cook me food and bully me to study."Seokmin said and tapped his nose playfully. "Also you are very handsome and charming so she'll love you as soon as you introduce yourself properly." 

“I hope you are right baby." Joshua said and lowered his hands, pulling Seokmin closer. Seokmin hummed pleasantly and leaned forward. 

"Where were we?" He said, his nose touching Joshua's and his hands on his chest. He kissed the cute curve on Joshua's lips and pressed their foreheads together. 

"You called me "love"." Joshua mumbled, his eyes closed, the corners of his mouth tugged up. 

_He did?_

"I-" _Joshua kissing behind his ear, electricity, love... that._ "Did?" Joshua nodded eagerly. 

_Love_.

It was cute actually. Joshua always called him by a sweet pet name, _baby, angel.._

Seokmin always wanted to do that too but nothing seemed right. 

Until now. 

He's so happy, Joshua is the first person to make him feel like that, like he was drowning in love and happiness, every day by his side was truly a blessing. Now he's gonna meet his Grandma and if Seokmin is lucky enough will have him for the rest of his life too.

"I guess I did.”Seokmin smiled.” You make me the happiest man alive, my love."

" _Baby_." Joshua said and kissed the smile off his lips. Seokmin knew what that meant. 

iii.

Joshua could feel his vision becoming blurry and his head dizzy with every sip. He rarely drank that much when he was out partying but Jeonghan's offer had been tempting. Seokmin really wanted to go out too, to ease off the studying and pressure and Joshua of course indulged him. 

Seokmin was having a lot of fun, he was definitely drunk and was dancing on the dancefloor with Mingyu. Mingyu's hands were on Seokmin's waist and he's leaning onto Mingyu to catch his breath every few minutes and if it was anyone else Joshua would probably be bothered but this was Seokmin’s best friend and Joshua trusted him. Joshua watched him swaying his hips to Playboy by EXO and it was definitely doing something for him.

Jeonghan is next to Joshua and was currently running his hand over Wonwoo's, Mingyu's boyfriend, chest and gushing about how strong he was. Wonwoo just smiled and turned back to Seungcheol who was playing with his ear and asking him about his major. The poor boy was overwhelmed by the attention, blushing like crazy but Joshua didn't know if the reason was that or tĥe couple treating him and Mingyu drink after drink. Mingyu really shouldn't have left his boyfriend with them. Joshua knew they meant well, they didn't want to mess up their relationship or something, but sometimes it was hard for them to understand that not everyone was just as open. 

Joshua just hoped everything was fine in the end. Jeonghan and Seungcheol were a dangerous combination, Jeonghan was smart, witty and insanely beautiful, not afraid to do everything it took to get what he wanted and Seungcheol was caring, comforting and really handsome too. No one had refused them. Mingyu and his boyfriend will break eventually,it seemed like it was gonna be soon judging by Wonwoo's giggles and frustration over Seungcheol.

Joshua stood up when he saw Mingyu coming their way and sat next to Jeonghan who immediately gave him his full attention. Joshua focused on his boyfriend dancing while walking towards him. He was an absolute vision, leather pants that made his thighs look sinfully good and a rose gold silk shirt that made his skin look tan and beautiful. Joshua felt his mouth watering really. He stood behind Seokmin, guarding him away from the people around and wrapped one hand around his waist the other around his neck. Seokmin jumped away, pushing his hands away and turning around. 

Well ouch. 

"Oh it's you." Seokmin sighed with relief and eased his grip on Joshua's hand, placing it on his waist again. "I'm sorry, you were sitting with your friends a minute ago and I thought it was someone else." 

"In that case I'm glad you did that baby." Joshua laughed and pulled him close.

"Dance with me." Seokmin whispered and wrapped his hands around Joshua's neck, their chest pressed together, not even centimeter between them. They swayed together in the beat of the music, Joshua held him tightly. The air around them was hot and felt dirty, Joshua tasted the alcohol on Seokmin's tongue when they kissed.

Seokmin turned around a few songs later, pressing his back on Joshua's chest and leaning into him. Joshua moved his hands so he was holding his hips, swaying in sync with the music. Seokmin lifted his hand and placed it behind his neck, resting his head onto Joshua's shoulder. Joshua couldn't resist but press his lips against his skin, leaving small kisses and breathing hot air against his neck.

"Take me home, please." Seokmin said, his voice barely audible from the loud music. He seemed tired and was drunk, his full bodyweight resting against Joshua.

So they left, saying quick goodbyes to their friends. Jeonghan stood up to hug both of them. 

"Behave." Joshua whispered into his ear and Jeonghan giggled devilishly.

"Can't say the same." He gave Joshua a wink, who rolled his eyes.

iv.

"I feel dirty." Seokmin said, taking off his shoes and jacket. He had fallen asleep in Joshua's arms in the car on the way home and now his eyes looked tired and puffy. It was adorable honestly, like a little puppy. "C'mon let's take a shower." 

"Sounds good." Joshua said and went to the dryer to get the nice towels that he had put earlier. They were fluffy, soft and red. He followed Seokmin in the bathroom, taking off his clothes and dropping them on the pile on the floor, then putting the towels next to the sink.Seokmin had already started the shower, only his silhouette was visible on the other side of the foggy glass. Joshua stepped into the shower while he was shampooing so he waited for him to finish. Seokmin opened his eyes and gave him a smile, pushing his hair back and stepping away from the stream. He took the shampoo and poured some in his hand to wash Joshua's hair too. Joshua closed his eyes at the pleasant feeling of his fingers in his hair, he genuinely adored his hair being touched and played with and when Seokmin did it was extremely pleasing. 

"Hmm, thank you angel." He said, opening his eyes and placing his hand on Seokmin's waist. 

"My pleasure." He said and leaned for a kiss.It was gentle and lazy, both of them too tired and buzzed for anything more.

"Your lips are so pretty and soft." Seokmin mumbled afterwards.

"You are pretty." Joshua said and Seokmin rolled his eyes, but it was lovingly.

It was nice, the steady pressure from the water felt heavenly on their skin, they both liked really hot showers. Joshua poured some shower gel into a loofah and rubbed it, making fluffy foam. The scent was very delightful, of pomegranate and peach. Joshua started washing Seokmin's chest, careful not to press too hard over the bruises on his collarbone and under his nipple. It was such a relief Seokmin loved being marked up so much or Joshua would feel bad for hurting him, didn't matter how minor. He lowered himself and kissed over them before turning him to lather up his back too. He stroked his back gently, massaging his shoulder blades after that and receiving pleased little hums from his boyfriend.

"All done babyboy, nice and clean." He said after he had finished, dropping the loofah down and pulling Seokmin flush against him. Joshua kissed the back of his neck all the way to his shoulders. Seokmin purred softly and stretched out his neck for easier access. Joshua turned him gently, placing his hand on the back of his head and pressing him against the wall. Joshua kissed him, sweetly at first, but then he bit his bottom lip and licked into his mouth when he sighed. It was wet and hot, both for two different reasons. 

They finished showering after that, wrapping the towels around their waists. Seokmin went to change in the bedroom while Joshua found little energy to do at least the basics from his skincare routine. Seokmin joined him to brush his teeth too eventually, hopping to sit on top of the space next to the sink when he was finished. He let Joshua wipe his face with micellar water and put on some night cream. His skin really thanked him for dating Joshua too.

"Shua?"

"Yes baby?" Joshua said, putting away the products.

"Can you carry me to bed?" Seokmin said, reaching out his arms and legs with a cute pout. 

Needless to say Joshua did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not plot heavy, just happy domestic boys in love. <3


	15. "Forever is a very long time angel."

**(17:17) From:Seokminnie**

Can you come home as quickly as possible?

**(17:24) To: Seokminnie**

Did something happen baby? You okay?

**(17:25) From:Seokminnie**

Yeah I'm fine, just come home as soon as you can okay?

  
  


The living room was empty when Joshua entered so he headed to the kitchen. He had cancelled a meeting with a possible future partner, it wasn't that urgent and the lady was kind and had understood. He was a little worried, even though Seokmin said he was okay.

Speaking of, he was indeed in the kitchen, sitting on top of the counter in an oversized lilac hoodie and was eating a strawberry popsicle. He beamed when he saw Joshua entering the room, straightening his back.

"You are quick." He said, his hair was a little wet, probably from a shower.

"I was worried, what's up?" Joshua said walking closer and placing his hands on both sides of him on the counter.

"It's nothing bad." Seokmin said, licking a drop of the popsicle that was making its way down his hand. "I just-I got my results early and you always check them with me." Joshua sighed with relief. It was kinda bad of Seokmin to make him worry for a good two hours, but he was so cute in his oversized hoodie and holding his pink popsicle that Joshua couldn't be mad even if he tried. 

"Let me see." Joshua said and Seokmin nodded towards the table where his phone was. Joshua went to take it and came back to stand in front of Seokmin. He unlocked his phone and went to the emails where on top stood an unread message. He looked at Seokmin, who had finished his popsicle and was holding onto the wooden stick, his hands shaking. Joshua opened the email and downloaded the document with the list. He went down to the right letter and there he was. 

_Lee Seokmin_

"Well?" Seokmin asked with anticipation.

"I'm so proud of you."Joshua said and placed the phone down, taking Seokmin's both hands in his. 

"Really?" Seokmin's voice sounded small and his eyes were sparkling. 

"Yeah baby, you got 94." Joshua brought his hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles. He was so happy for Seokmin, he had studied hard and in the end it was all worth it.

"I did?" Seokmin whispered and Joshua nodded. "I did!" Seokmin laughed, throwing his head back then hugged Joshua, _tight, so tight_ , with both his arms and legs. Joshua hugged him back and petted his hair until he came down from the shock. "Thank you, thank you." His words were muffled because his head was buried into Joshua's shoulder.

"You don't have to thank me angel, it was all you." 

"That's not true." Seokmin said, leaning back and shaking his head "If it weren't for you I- I don't even want to think about it." He cupped Joshua's face and stroked his jawline with his thumb. It was true. Joshua was always there, firstly when he had lost his job, then when he ended his relationship with his father. Whenever he needed support and love, to feel comfort and to be understood the answer was always Joshua. " I love you so much." He smiled and pressed their foreheads together.

Loving Joshua was overwhelming at first. Seokmin had always been emotional but this had been different. He had loved Joshua blindly, not even caring if he felt the same, throwing himself in the deep ocean with an anchor tied to his ankle. Before he had thought he had been in love with his last high school girlfriend and maybe he was but not in this way, not this strong and suffocating in the sweetest way.

He had always been too emotional for his own good. Then Joshua came along and drove him insane. He was older and much more mature than the people he had dated briefly throughout college. Joshua was kind and listened to him, he never once got annoyed at a stupid joke or at his loud and energetic behaviour at times. Joshua comforted him and told him kind words when he needed it instead of hinting at Seokmin to get himself together. Joshua had actually liked him for him from the start. Seokmin had always liked giving back to people, needing to feel useful in some way so his past relationships were short and mostly spent in bed. Girls liked him for being bubbly and open but eventually got tired of him because of the same reasons. He had always liked boys too but they didn't exactly fancied a relationship with him, rarely a night at best. 

So when Joshua had said he wanted him and the nature of their relationship he had assumed it was gonna be like that too, and don't get him wrong, there was nothing wrong with relationships of this kind but the whole emotionless part wasn't exactly his thing. 

But he gave it a shot.

Best decision of his life. 

Joshua was smart, easy to talk to, funny but in a bad,charming way and actually wanted to know his mind too,not only his body.

Naturally he fell for Joshua, it was inevitable, his kisses and touches were,still are, dangerous and addicting. Thinking back at it Seokmin thought he wouldn't have dared to say a word, would have been too scared to be left again. 

Loving Joshua was painful in the middle. The whole misunderstanding with the break up had been soul crushing. At that time, when he couldn't breathe from crying under his blanket, he had hated himself for letting himself fall in love to the point that even not being able to hear Joshua's voice burned. 

Loving Joshua was easy in the end. Loving him was safe and satisfying because Joshua didn't just take from him, he liked giving back but two times more. They were like two sides of a magnet, completing, needing each other to function. Seokmin liked to think they were meant for eachother and knew soulmates probably were just a made up concept by Hollywood to sell their Valentine's day romcoms but if they were even a tiny bit of true, he knew Joshua was his. They had to be, they fitted so perfectly in every aspect it was borderline scary. 

"I love you too baby." Joshua murmured against his lips and sealed them. Seokmin's lips tasted like artificial strawberry and felt like heaven,his tongue so eager to lick into his mouth. He wraps his palms under his bare thighs and yanks him forward because this is what Seokmin wanted clearly. 

"We can go out to a dinner and celebrate?" Joshua asked, knowing full well they both aren't leaving the apartment probably until tomorrow. He slid his hands up to hold his hips and hook his fingers under his waistband but it's not there. "Shit baby, are you wearing anything underneath?" 

"Hm,no." Seokmin said with the most innocent voice and Joshua wanted to ruin him right this second. He slid his fingers under the hoodie, stroking his back then lower down over his thighs. 

"So dinner?" Joshua teased again, stroking the meat of his thighs, wanting nothing else but to be between them in any way as soon as possible. Seokmin of course knew what he was doing so he took his time running his fingers through Joshua's hair, over his neck, stroking his cheeks and that perfect lips of his. Joshua kissed the tip of his finger and waited patiently for an answer so Seokmin got closer to his ear.

"You can have me as a meal any time,my love." He whispered and licked Joshua's ear and it was enough. He would do that with pleasure and Seokmin didn't know what he was getting himself into. He wrapped Seokmin's legs around his own waist and picked him up. He really liked being carried and Joshua would visit the gym ten times a day for the rest of his life if he had to just so he could hear his cute surprised sigh every time. 

"Gladly." 

Seokmin closed his eyes and kissed Joshua's neck and honestly he would be more than happy to stay like that forever but soon Joshua is sitting on the bed with him on top. He kissed Joshua's lips and whined into the kiss when he felt his hoodie being pulled up, exposing everything. Joshua moved back into the bed slowly, not breaking the kiss and Seokmin followed him. Joshua under him was his favourite thing, he liked it like that so of course Joshua indulged him without a complaint. Joshua licked one last time over his lip and broke the kiss, looking up at him with a cocky grin.

"Okay babyboy, hop on." He said. Seokmin looked at him confused. "What?I thought you wanted me to eat you out, are you not sure anymore?" 

"I-"Seokmin said, wide eyed."Didn't mean that."

"Okay, but I'm up for it." Joshua's eyes were gentle and expecting.

"Are you sure?" Seokmin asked timidly and it's not like he hadn't thought about it, Joshua's tongue is just so good and he wondered how it would feel down there too. 

"Definitely." Joshua beamed. "You deserve an award.' He stroked his cheek and Seokmin nuzzled against his palm. "Now babyboy, climb up and sit on my face, I've been dying to be between your thighs like that." And it sounded so dirty and exciting that Seokmin felt himself twitch against the soft fabric of the hoodie. He basically crawled his way up, removing the pillows and throwing them on the ground. 

He was adorable, watching Joshua with sparkling eyes from above. He was holding the front of his lilac hoodie down,which had a little rainbow patch on the side of his heart, hiding himself, which was pointless but cute anyway. "Whenever you are ready." Joshua reckoned it could be hard for him, being exposed like that. He stroked Joshua's cheek as he let go of the hem of the hoodie and moved the last step up. The edge of it tickled his nose so Joshua moved it up and back as best as he could. Joshua placed his palms on his thighs again, kissing the delicate skin. He felt soft and smelled sweet, of their favourite showergel. He then spread Seokmin's thighs even more and guided him down to sit fully on his face. He licked a wet big strip and felt his boyfriend jump slightly but he held him down. Seokmin grabbed the headboard with one hand and the other buried in Joshua's hair. That's all he sees underneath actually. Joshua waited for him to calm down and did it again, licking with no mercy because he needed him wet and dripping. Seokmin felt sparkles run under his skin. The feeling is unexplainable, it's weird but insanely good. He could get used to the slow satisfying feeling for now. He enjoyed the few more licks with quiet hums but then Joshua moved his palms, spreading him even more and pushing his tongue into him. Seokmin cried out a moan, not prepared for the sudden rush of pleasure and tightened his grip onto the headboard. Joshua does the same action again and Seokmin felt his bones becoming soft. How is it possible to feel like that just by a few licks from his boyfriend.

"Joshua-" He started to say something but immediately forgot when he felt his tongue thrust into him even deeper than before. He felt himself already leaking, soaking wet the material of his hoodie. Joshua started kissing him then and just the thought is making him insane. His kisses are soft and gentle, a much bigger contrast to his actions earlier so Seokmin lets himself breathe. He moved his fingers to stroke Joshua's hair as a sign he was doing a great job. Then he heard the wet sounds of Joshua licking his lips and started licking and thrusting into him deep and wet, spreading him unforgivingly. Seokmin would definitely have bruises tomorrow just by his fingers alone. His thighs are shaking and he moved his hips, fucking himself on his boyfriends tongue. He doesn't know if this is right but Joshua didn't seem to mind, instead humming pleasantly under him. He rocked his hips gently over the flat of his tongue, moaning every time he felt his tongue dig into him.

It's wet and sloppy, his movements guided fully by Joshua's hands because he definitely can't think straight right now. He felt too good to think about rhythm or gracefulness. Thankfully Joshua is there, he always is. His tongue is magical and the sounds he makes with every lick are filthy. Seokmin heard, felt a muffled moan and if he wasn't gone before he definitely is now. Joshua is getting off on just making him feel good and the thought is enough to throw him over the edge.

He took his hand out of Joshua's hair to stroke himself. The feeling of his hand is such a fucking relief and he needed just a few seconds more but-

Joshua took his hand and yanked it behind his back. The motion was so sudden that he lost balance for a second but held himself up with his other hand, now on the mattress keeping him up. Joshua had lifted himself somehow and was watching him from below. He took his other hand and placed it next to the previous harshly and Seokmin whined, not from pain or anything but because he didn't think he could hold himself any longer.

"Did I allow you to touch yourself?" He said, his voice raspy and his lips red and swollen. His chin was shiny with saliva and it definitely should be gross but definitely isn't. "Answer me darling." 

"No, but I can't- I wanna come." Seokmin felt the tears burn into his eyes but Joshua making him cry from pleasure wasn't new so they both didn't acknowledge it for now. He wiggled his hands but that just made Joshua's grip tighter.

"You can come on my tongue." 

"No-"He shook his head."I don't think I can hold myself up anymore." 

"Turn around then." Joshua said and Seokmin was too overwhelmed to make sense of his words, he just followed his direction and soon he's laying over Joshua's still clothed chest, facing away from him. He's too desperate for release to be embarrassed. Joshua pulled him closer by the thighs, then one hand captured Seokmin's both behind his back again and he held him close with the other, licking, sucking and pushing his tongue even deeper if that's even possible. He started moving his hips, chasing his high and Joshua released his hips and pushed his thumb inside,using his spit as lube. Seokmin moaned against Joshua's lower stomach. He moved his thumb and licked around it and Seokmin was definitely going to cry now. He lifted his head and could see how hard his boyfriend was but he can't do anything because his hands are still held behind his back. He shamelessly moved quicker, fucking himself on Joshua’s finger and tongue and secretly getting a little fraction between his legs too. 

Joshua moaned against him like he’s the one being treated and took out his thumb to roughly grab his hips again and guided him even quicker against his tongue. He felt like he's gonna come any second but he doesn't because even though his tongue is incredible is not enough. 

Seokmin escaped his grip on his hands, collected all the strength he had and turned around again, kissing Joshua before he either asked if he was okay or had gotten angry that he turned around without permission. He laid flush against Joshua's chest and kissed him filthy, his lips were still red and his face was wet. It's incredible. 

"I can't - please, please, touch me or fuck me, I don't care,please." He is desperately begging and is not at all ashamed about it because Joshua smiled and pulled him for a chaste kiss again. He turned them around and stood up, retrieving the pillows from the ground and other usual essentials. Seokmin resisted the urge to touch himself as he watched his boyfriend quickly undress himself. He crawled over Seokmin like a predator to its prey, a dangerous spark behind his eyes.

"Good boy." Joshua said and Seokmin didn't know if it was because he waited or for other reasons but either way it made him twitch against his hoodie once again. Joshua was now naked over him and it was a nice change. He felt a hand around his throat moving his head to the side, exposing his neck to Joshua. His lips and tongue are warm against his skin like they are every time and the sting of his teeth has stopped being painful a long time ago. 

Joshua kissed him and Seokmin lifted his hips for the pillows. He always thought he had learned to sense Joshua's actions by now but the other somehow always found a way to surprise him. This time however he smiled against his lips and coated his fingers. 

"Can't we skip to the fun part?" Seokmin asked, pointless question, he knew Joshua would make sure he was ready even if that meant preparing him for hours. He however was too impatient today and wished his boyfriend didn't always treat him like a doll.

"This is fun for me." Joshua replied and it was true, he loved watching him be ruined just by his fingers alone. 

He pushed two fingers at once and kissed Seokmin, drinking up his moans. He's all words and Seokmin knew it, he had been hard since forever but would never let it show, he never put his needs before Seokmin's. The whole room is painfully quiet aside from the sounds of his heavy breaths and moans every time his fingers move. He desperately wanted to reach between his legs and touch himself, being neglected for so long was borderline painful.He's already half prepared from Joshua's tongue so he quickly demanded another finger and it still stringed at first but it got better every time. 

"I'm ready." He said a moment later when the pain was starting to disappear, he felt like if he waited even a second more he'd go insane.

"You are being impatient." Joshua breathed and pressed his fingers all the way in slowly. Seokmin shook his head because no, he definitely wasn't, he had waited enough.

"You think you always know better."Seokmin said, his voice ruined. "Maybe I should find someone that listens to me." 

Silence. 

This was all there was in the room after his words. Joshua stopped moving his fingers and pulled out, lifting himself. He just watched him, his eyes dark and hooded. His breathing was calm, too calm to match his gaze. Seokmin regretted his words then, he had been foolish, thinking only about his needs. 

"Shua-" He started quietly. He was ready to apologize if he had to.

"Don't." Joshua just said as he reached over and grabbed the condom, ripping the foil with his teeth and then easing the rubber down over himself. Seokmin was definitely confused, wasn't he angry at him? 

Joshua leaned forward and wrapped one of his hands around his neck in a way that held him down but didn't restrict his breathing. He licked over his lips but moved back when Seokmin tried to kiss him. "You really shouldn't have said that baby." He said, biting his bottom lip roughly. Well the message was definitely received. Joshua kissed him then, his tongue slipping into his mouth without warning, not that he would ever refuse it. He eased his grip on Seokmin's neck and moved his hand down over his chest. He was so lost in the kiss that he barely even flinched at Joshua squeezing a generous amount of lube over him and himself and spreading it with a few flicks of his wrist.

Joshua broke the kiss harsly and lifted himself, wrapping his hands under his thighs roughly and pulled him closer. Seokmin never thought he would be so into being manhandled like that but apparently everything Joshua did was a turn on.

"Here baby." He bited mockingly, spreading him and sliding himself all the way with a harsh thrust. Seokmin let out a sound between a moan and a scream. He felt like crying all over again. He clawed at Joshua's hands on his thighs, locking his legs to keep him still for a moment. "How does it feel, is this what you wanted?" Seokmin doesn't like the mocking tone of his voice at all. His eyes are closed and he nodded eagerly, keeping the harsh burning pain at the back of his head. " Did you lost your words already, answer me."

"Yes, it's what I-I wanted." He said quietly. Joshua was definitely mad but Seokmin wasn't stupid, he knew that by talking to him he was giving him time to adjust.

"Good." Joshua said, squeezing his butt roughly and watched his face, analysing it for any sign of discomfort. He wasn't sleek. "Now I'm gonna start moving and you're gonna take it until your pretty mouth can't say anything but my name." It sounded like a plan Seokmin liked. "And you still can't touch yourself or come without permission." He didn't like that."

"But I need-" 

"Quiet." Joshua said and moved his hips making him shut up without a choice. He felt his legs shaking where they were wrapped high around Joshua's waist. He decided to follow the rules and be good, otherwise he could be left alone, pathetic and hard. 

When Joshua started moving his hips, gently at first, the pain had disappeared replaced by pleasure. He made quiet happy noises, glad to finally be getting what he had been waiting for all this time. Joshua couldn't resist but kiss his adorable content smile off his face. He kissed him gently with little pecs, getting lost in him and forgetting that he was supposed to be angry for a moment. Seokmin doesn't know it but it's so fucking hard to not come right this second too. 

But he couldn't. 

He lifted himself, moving one of his hands to support himself and began thrusting faster and harder, enjoying the sweet sounds his boyfriend made. He was so beautiful like that, underneath him with his eyes closed and chest breathing heavily. The skin under his hoodie was ďamp with sweat and he must be so hot with it but it's just too adorable. The whole thought of him putting it on with nothing underneath and walking around the apartment waiting for Joshua to come home was maddening. He lifted the hoodie even more, stroking over his chest and nipples and making Seokmin cry out and move his hand down to touch himself. 

Wait what? 

Joshua noticed what he was doing so he took his hands and lifted them above his head.

"That was naughty." He whispered against his ear. "If you can't keep your hands still I'll gladly do it instead." 

"Joshua." He only said, sounding like a beg more than anything else.

 _Good_.

"You can hold a little bit more for me right?" Joshua breathed, now holding his hands with just one while lifting his thigh even higher with the other. He rocked his hips harder and was pleased when his boyfriend nodded. " My good boy.", Joshua kissed his cheek.

A whimper escaped Seokmin's lips, he tugged his hands but it was pointless. He wanted to touch himself, Joshua, something. He felt useless just laying like that and greedily taking everything offered to him. 

"Kiss me, please, please." He desperately begged so Joshua took a pity and indulged him. He muffled his moans, results of his thrust and the kiss is wet and sloppy, their breaths mingling. 

It's too much.

"I'm sorry." Seokmin’s voice broke at that. He didn't feel his legs or arms or any of his bones in fact, all he felt was Joshua inside him, pulling out barely and thrusting harshly. He needed to apologize, needed Joshua to know he didn't mean what he said. He was the only one, forever the only one. 

"Shh baby." Joshua said and tried to kiss him.

"Please listen I-ah." It was so hard talking right now." I'm yours, only yours." He cried out, almost every word being interrupted by a moan 

"I know baby." Joshua gasped, releasing his hands and sliding his arms underneath his boyfriend's back with the last bit of strength he had left and arching him from the bed to sit on his lap and to tug him down hard to meet his thrusts halfway. Seokmin wrapped his hands around his neck happily, kissing him while little moans slipped from the corners of his lips. "You are mine, just mine." 

"Yes, yes, just yours. I love you so much, only you." Seokmin promised, no,sweared. This is the most truthful thing he had said in his life. Joshua wrapped his hand around him then, moving it messy and quick. 

"You're so good babyboy, you can come okay." And Seokmin doesn't need to be told twice, Joshua almost fainted at the sudden squeeze, cursing under his breath but still holding himself, working him through it. He moaned loudly and would probably complain about his ruined hoodie. And God it's so hot. He kissed Seokmin's cheeks and held him tightly, still moving his hips but slower. 

"Joshua, please, come, please, love." Seokmin managed to mutter despite still being high on his peek and it's enough. He came suit, burying his head in his boyfriends neck and muffling his loud moan. 

He collapsed over Seokmin after that, laying his head on his chest while the other petted his hair with closed eyes and a pleased smile. 

Minutes pass in comfortable silence, neither of them wanting to move.

"Shua?" 

"Baby?"

"I really meant it, I'm yours, forever." 

" Forever is a very long time angel."

"Yet still not enough with you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please consider checking out my new Seoksoo [oneshot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746500) . Thank you, stay healthy <3


	16. "...only for you."

"I was worried when you didn't text me back for so long." Joshua said but didn't turn his eyes from the laptop. Seokmin had come home a few minutes ago and had walked straight into the office. After all Joshua spent all of his time at home when they weren't together in it. Sometimes Seokmin grabbed one of his books and read it sprawled on the loveseat next to the bookshelf while Joshua worked.

"You don't seem like it." Seokmin bited so Joshua looked at him over his glasses."My phone died again, it was almost full too." 

"Do you want a new one? We can get you something tomorrow before work?" Joshua took off his glasses and closed the laptop. He crossed his fingers under his chin and looked at him. Seokmin looked down at the blank black screen.

"No, it's alright, I don't want to bother you." Seokmin said and came closer to the desk, throwing his phone on the little couch. It had been a good phone, not the latest model but he had bought it from the saved up money from his first salaries and had served him well for almost four years, it wasn't even that cracked. 

"You are not bothering me baby, I want you to have everything you need, you should tell me that stuff." Joshua stood up and took his hand, pulling him closer. He cupped his cheek but Seokmin didn't look at him.

"It's not that easy." He whispered. That was the thing. Sure he liked getting presents, the clothes and jewelry were surprising at first but he got used to them because they were a gift. He however still felt bad asking for something because he was used to earning what he had. "I'm used to working for my stuff so just asking is... difficult."

"I see." Joshua said and turned his face to look at him. Seokmin complied and melted into the warm touch of his palm on his cheek. " But baby how many times do I have to tell you that spoiling you makes me happy, I want you to live comfortably, you really deserve it." 

"I guess."

"If you are that bothered why didn't you buy a phone from your own money?" 

"I don't really use them anymore." He said with an awkward smile. Joshua raised his eyebrows. "In the beginning I spent a little part on groceries and stuff but now I'm basically always with you and you pay for everything so I don't really need them." The only time he used his card was when he was out with friends.

"But you should angel, you earned them okay? I may be your boyfriend now but you can still be my cute sugar baby, I'll never get tired of spoiling you." 

"Okay." He nodded. It wasn't gonna be that easy but he felt like they had had this conversation before. He meant well, Seokmin was utterly sure of it, but they saw the worth of money in completely different ways. "But I'm still not calling you daddy." He teased, changing the subject.

"We're gonna get you a new phone tomorrow, after you pick me up for lunch?" Joshua asked after a laugh. Seokmin nodded and kissed him. Joshua moved his hands over his waist and pushed him back against the desk. He cleared up the surface, a few sheets of paper hitting the ground but neither of them paid them attention. Seokmin hopped on the desk and wrapped his hands around his neck. Joshua's kisses and touches could bring a light to even the gloomiest of days. Joshua kissed like he always did, gently but gradually, tongue running over the plush of his lips and slipping right in, licking every curve and bump, behind his teeth and over his mouth and Seokmin all but melted into it. How could he not when Joshua's hands always hold his waist with care and adoration.

"Now angel, tell me why are you upset?" Joshua said after pecking his lips a last time and breaking the kiss. Seokmin pouted at his actions and looked at him with puppy eyes.

"I'm not." Joshua gave him  _ the look _ . Seokmin was lying and they both knew it. He had almost forgotten about it after Joshua kissed him. He wished he could honestly. Seokmin sighed and unwrapped his hands. He was more mad than anything, the question was, was he really ready to tell Joshua? He pushed Joshua back and climbed off the desk to lead him over to the small seat. He really didn't want to ruin Joshua's day with his problems but he needed to be honest. 

He took a calming breath and lifted his legs from the ground and hugged them. He looked away, trying to collect his thoughts and find the best way to say it.

"You know my mom passed away when I was little so my grandparents took care of me." He could see Joshua's nod next to him. "I have a father too, well had." He corrected himself."I don't have a lot of memories of him when I was a kid but the ones I do have I want to forget. He is not a good person, he never cared for mom and me. Actually, to be clear, he didn't do anything to me because mom always locked me up in my room whenever he was in a bad mood, but I could hear everything, I still remember his words and wiping mom's tears after like it happened yesterday."His eyes were glossy and he looked at Joshua. He really needed his support and affection right now. "We left him eventually, when the mental abuse turned into more, I'm still proud of my mom for being so brave. Then we went to live with my grandparents. I was so happy without him for a while, my mom didn't even demand him paying for child support."Joshua's face was full of worry and he reached to squeeze his hand. Seokmin gladly accepted the contact. "I grew up without a sign of him. I never lacked anything, I was so loved, my grandpa was a great father figure too." A tear finally rolled down his cheek and Joshua squeezed his hand tighter. He placed his legs on the ground and wiped the tear with the back of his free hand. "Years passed until I saw him again, he actually showed up on my sixteen birthday with a small present and a promise that he had changed. I didn't believe him but grandma did. After that she made me call him on holidays to thank him for the gifts he was sending me and I did so she would be happy. He was my father after all, she would say, I don't think mom had told her the whole story and I didn't have the heart to either. After I had turned nineteen, he stopped picking up my calls and I would lie if I say I wasn't glad." He smiled but it was full of pain. He looked at Joshua again and his eyes were so warm and full of love, he looked at him like he was his everything. A few more tears left his eyes, he didn't care what he looked like because he knew Joshua would love him the way he was. The tears fell down his cheeks painfully and Joshua wiped them away and pulled him in a hug. Seokmin held the fabric of his shirt in his hands and breathed him in to calm himself.

"It's okay baby,you don't have to talk about it anymore, I understand" He said as he was rubbing his back comfortingly.

"No." He took what he hoped for was a breath to calm himself but it got stuck in his throat. Joshua had broken all his walls and Seokmin really hoped he wasn't gonna get scared of how broken everything on the inside was, how vulnerable and raw it all was. "Years passed and I didn't hear from him again, until a few months back. I still don't know why I accepted to see him, maybe it was because I was braver than before and still wanted some kind of closure. I wish I hadn't. He is still the same monster that tried to ruin mom, his words are still as painful as I remembered."He wiped the last of his own tears and laughed."Maybe I'm overreacting."

"You are hurting baby, have you told anyone about your feelings?" Joshua stroked his cheeks, his face was probably red and puffy by now.

"No, people have their own problems, why should I burden them with mine too?" Seokmin leaned into the touch. He always thought that if he smiled enough, if he acted chill and made people happy he would feel happy too. Since he was a kid he always had to be strong and carry enough happiness for both him and his mom. She had always called him her little sun. Then his mother left him and he had to be strong and happy for his grandparents too. It had become second nature. "I'm sorry." 

Joshua looked at him dumbfounded for a second. "Why are you apologizing sweetheart? You didn't do anything wrong, you are perfect." Joshua pulled him in his lap and that was the thing he needed most. He cupped his cheeks and looked into his eyes. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, I can't imagine-" He shook his head." But you have me now, you don't have to be strong in front of me." And as much as Seokmin hated to be pitied this didn't feel like it. Joshua somehow made him feel understood and maybe the love for him clouded his judgment but it didn't really matter. 

"I know that." He placed his hands over Joshua's and closed his eyes. "That's why I came straight to you that day." 

"I remember, I was so worried." Joshua pulled him closer to his chest in the tightest hug. 

"That day I knew I needed no one but you, you gave me happiness and love, a home for my heart." He repeated Joshua's words from a while ago. When he was around Joshua he didn't feel the need to pretend. Seokmin didn't know what was the thing about him that made him fall in love so quick and deep, maybe it was the fact that Joshua loved him just as strongly or that he actually wanted to give him happiness instead of taking from him. He pressed their foreheads together and his lips were so close but-

But this wasn't the end. He pulled away and looked at the wall behind Joshua. 

"He called today. I didn't pick up of course, so he texted me."Seokmin said through his teeth, voice low."He didn't even apologize this time, instead he wants to meet again and talk about "stuff"."

"You don't have to go, you don't owe him anything baby." Joshua ran his fingers through his hair and rested it on his neck.

"I know that and I won't, I thought I was pretty clear when I told him to not contact me anymore." He sighed and closed his eyes, his head was starting to hurt. " I'm done with him, he's a chapter I never want to go back to, Do you think I can change my number tomorrow as well?" 

"If that's what you want angel, of course." Everything seemed easier with Joshua. All he wanted was to curl into his arms and have him stroke his hair and whisper nice things into his ear for the rest of his day. Or life.

"I love you." He said because he felt like it, because he needed Joshua to never forget. 

"I love you." Joshua kissed him and Seokmin felt like it was okay. Every tear, every night spent at work just so he can afford to eat, every past person that had only played with him was worth it. He felt a single tear roll down his cheek as Joshua kissed his lips with tender little pecs and it was okay. Seokmin hugged him then and felt like he could spend hours in his arms. 

ii.

"Why am I here again?" Joshua said and sat at the little couch in the middle of the store. 

"I need something to wear for the party and you happen to be great at fashion?" Jeonghan formed that as a question rather than an answer. He had texted Joshua an hour ago on emergency and Joshua had left everything and came here immediately just to find him picking through clothes with two staff girls following him around. "Do you like this one?" He said pulling up an emerald green taffeta shirt with bell sleeves.

"Depends, are you trying to look like a watermelon with your pink hair?"

"Rude, but true. See I'm lost without you." Jeonghan said and turned to look through the rack again. Joshua stood up to help him, he's already here might as well get this over with. He went through the clothes quickly but remembered he didn't even know the occasion, you can't wear jeans to a black-tie event after all.

"What's the occasion this time?" He asked and took a yellow blazer out of Jeonghan's hands before he even thinks about it. 

"A dinner party, something to do with attracting new investors, I'm not familiar with Seungcheol's work that much, I'm just happy to throw a party when necessary." Jeonghan didn't look at him, instead, he frowned at the clothes in front of him and looked sadly at clothes one of the girls had in her hands. "Speaking of, give Seokminnie this." He said and pulled a small envelope from his pocket.

"What's this?" Joshua asked as he took it.

"Invitation for the party, I tried calling to ask him out and give it to him in person but there was some kind of an issue?" 

"Oh, he changed his number last week, should I be concerned that you are asking my boyfriend out?" Joshua said without a bite in his voice, he was concerned more about his best friend’s influence on his baby than anything else. Jeonghan was an amazing friend of course but his antics could become questionable at times.

"He did? Without telling me? I'm heartbroken."

"You'll live." Joshua said and Jeonghan clutched his heart dramatically. He was gone into the fitting rooms after that and Joshua was left to wait for him outside. He picked a few items and asked the other girl to take them into the fitting room as well. He didn't use social media very often, his Instagram profile was managed mainly by his manager so he decided to scroll through the recent posts on his name and read some comments. He smiled at the pictures his manager had posted from the other day. The suit he had made for one of the CEO's made her look elegant but powerful, his vision exactly.

Joshua was pleasantly surprised at the notification he got after that. Seokmin had sent him a selca wearing one of the hoodies he had bought him after he had complained about his lilac one being ruined. He had leaned next to a pile of books and the caption read " _ Guess who I was out with?" _ Joshua actually really liked Wonwoo and Mingyu, they were good guys, despite his little accident at the cafe. Seokmin had made them go out on a little double date to clear things out after that. 

Seokmin was really liking his new phone too, he sent pictures of random things to Joshua every day, of his coffee art when he was out with friends, of cute dogs in the park, of the weather outside but Joshua's favorite were the ones he was in. He saved each one and had put one of the selcas Seokmin had sent him as his wallpaper. He was so cute in it, his lips were pouted after Joshua had told him he would be working late one night.

"What do you think?" Jeonghan asked, coming out of the fitting room.

"Safe but boring, try one of the things I picked." Joshua said and looked down on his phone after it buzzed a second time. This time he was with a different shirt, Joshua recognized it as one of the pieces from the last year's fall collection but didn't remember having it in his closet.

**(17:47) From: Seokminnie**

_ Do you like my new shirt, I bought it today? _

Joshua quickly replied and smiled at the phone. When he had said he should spend his money however he likes he hadn't meant that. He could get him this shirt for free. However, it looked great on him, even better than the model.

When he opened the next photo he sucked a breath and quickly locked the phone. He looked around the room for anyone but thankfully he was alone, spare for the staff girl waiting for Jeonghan next to the fitting room door. He opened it again, more careful this time and took it in. Seokmin had kneeled on the bedroom floor with his legs a little spread apart. He was wearing the same shirt but this time it was opened, spare for the last two buttons. Under the material, he could see the sparkle of a golden chain that was wrapped around his neck loosely and continued down over his chest. Apart from that he was naked and was hiding himself with the hand that wasn't holding the phone. " _ You love me in red."  _ It read in the message above the picture. Joshua certainly did. Fuck.

"I look like a macaroon." Jeonghan said, he was wearing a pastel pink suit to match his hair, combined with a simple white shirt underneath. Joshua locked his phone quickly and gave his attention to Jeonghan. 

"It's really overbearing." Joshua stood up and took a look at his best friend. He went into the fitting room and looked over the clothes. "Do you have high waisted black trousers, preferably with golden buttons?" He asked the girl and she nodded almost immediately. He smiled at her and she went to grab the piece. "This shirt and the bottoms she will bring you should go beautifully with your skin tone and hair." Joshua said and went outside. The sooner he is done with this the better. He looked at his phone but there aren't new pics, which is better. He saved the last pic and gave it a last one over before locking the phone. 

"I actually love that." Jeonghan said as he walked out. The pastel blue of the shirt really complimented his hair and the high rise trousers made his waist small and elegant. Jeonghan had always had beautiful features, that's why he was Joshua's favorite model. 

Joshua heard the notification on his phone but ignored it. 

"You look stunning." He said and got another notification. Then another.

"Is it Seokminnie?" Jeonghan walked to the couch where his phone was and picked it up. Joshua tried to grab it but he held it behind his back. "Wow relax will you, I'm not gonna steal your sugar baby." Jeonghan laughed and Joshua was too old for playing games like that.

"I know, just give it back." Joshua said. Jeonghan rolled his eyes but nodded. Joshua's breath calmed down. Then Jeonghan smiled devilishly and ran to the fitting room, locking himself. It was fine, it's not like he knew his password or something. 

"You have his picture as wallpaper, how cute." He heard Jeonghan say from the other side of the door. Joshua's eyes widened. He unlocked the door after that and returned the phone to him. 

"I swear I didn't look at the pictures, the message that popped up was clearly not my business. "Jeonghan said and thank God. Joshua snatched his phone from his hand."I'm sorry." He said and Joshua knew he really was, he may be too much at times but understood Joshua's boundaries. 

"It's fine, just don't do it again." Joshua said and smiled at him. "Get this one." He turned around ready to leave. 

"Thank you! Oh and give the poor boy what he wants, let him ride you like a wave." He basically yelled and Joshua would be killing him if he didn't have more urgent things to do. 

He opened the messages at a red light. The traffic at this hour was honestly terrible. There was another pic, this time Seokmin was sitting on the bed in a similar position as before, just his legs spread wider. His shirt was fully opened now and was dipping over his elbows. Joshua followed the chain with his eyes, wrapped around his neck and down over his chest, it split apart to hug his hips too and continued down connecting to two more chains wrapped around both of his upper thighs.  _ "I hate to be sitting alone here when I could be sitting on your face."  _ He was becoming bolder and bolder and it drove Joshua insane. The last pic was just of his bare collarbones, neck and lips but he knew it did the trick.  _ "I miss you.".  _ And it would probably be sweet if it wasn't followed by." _ You're probably tired from work, I wanna ride you till you relax."  _ This was the last text and Jeonghan had seen that. It could have been worse. 

**(18:13) To: Seokminnie**

_ I would love to see that. _

**(18:15)From: Seokminnie**

_ Wait, you really are coming? I'll start early so hurry up or I won't wait.  _

There was even a wink and tongue emoji.

**(18:16) To: Seokminnie**

_ Don't you dare. _

Joshua's thoughts lead to him, just laying there and thinking of him as he fingers himself. He isn't even mad at that, he would gladly watch it happen in front of him any day. He stared at the last picture, his skin was beautiful and tanned in the dimmed room, the only thing missing was marks with Joshua's name on them. The chain looks sinful wrapped around his body like that. He's a little vixen in disguise, that's what he is. 

Joshua parked quickly and jumped out of the car. He smiled at the new boy on the reception and tapped the elevator floor with his foot impatiently. Somehow it was moving slower than most days.

He found Seokmin on the bed, his skin kinda damp with sweat and taking another picture of himself. Surely it hadn't been that long. He almost dropped the phone on his face when the door opened harshly. Joshua slowly walked into the room, keeping their eyes locked, took the rings off his fingers and rolled up his sleeves. He went to the bed and squatted next to it. Joshua took the phone out of his fingers, looked at the picture and smiled. He placed it aside on the nightstand next to the other stuff. His fingers dragged painfully slow over the chain. “What a sinfully beautiful sight are you, darling.” The thigh part of the chain was digging into the meat of his thigh and made Joshua crazy. He stroked over Seokmin's hip, over his chest then neck. He tugs at the necklace part lightly and his fingers travel to Seokmin's lips to touch them too. "Do you like taking that kind of pictures of yourself baby?" His voice is soft as he said it after a few agonizing moments of silence. 

"Yes, but only for you." Seokmin said sweetly.

"Only for me?" Joshua hummed and stood up. He took off his belt and his shirt. "What if someone else saw them, you know that would drive me crazy." 

"It would." Seokmin said with a cocky grin. Oh, how cute he was when he was confident. Joshua smirked too and moved the mirror closer to the bed. 

"Come sit here angel." He said and Seokmin  obeyed , allowing the shirt to fall down fully. Joshua lifted his chin with his fingers and ran his thumb over his bottom lip again as he watched him with sparkling eyes. Joshua stroked his cheek after Seokmin licked the tip of his thumb teasingly.

"What's that?" Seokmin asked and took the envelope from his back pocket. He honestly had forgotten its existence.

"Jeonghan wants to invite you to his party." Joshua said, he really would prefer having this conversation later.

"Really?" Seokmin excitedly opened the envelope. "He's always so nice to me and my friends." He carefully put the invitation back after reading it and reached to place it on the nightstand. " Are we gonna go?" 

"He didn't invite me, I think he likes you better." Joshua joked. He was actually glad his friends liked Seokmin so much. 

"Don't be sad sweetheart, you can be my plus one."

"How generous of you." Joshua doesn't tell him about the little situation at the store because he knew he would be so embarrassed and swore he would cut Jeonghan's tongue if he mentioned it in front of him."The pictures you took were very naughty baby, you knew I was at work." That was kinda a lie but Seokmin didn't need to know that.

"I didn't demand you come home immediately, just wanted to have your attention and make you hurry up." To be honest, he hadn't expected Joshua to come home so quickly, he usually didn't look at his phone while he was working so Seokmin had wanted to surprise him. He usually wouldn't do that but he really wanted to show him his new bodychain.

However, this was so much better. 

"Attention?" Joshua said and kneeled on the ground. He moved his hands over his thighs and squeezed. "You always have my attention, especially now wearing this." He spread his legs and kissed along his stomach where the chain was. "I can't decide if you deserve a punishment or not." 

"I don't." Seokmin protested." If anything I deserve an award for being pretty and patient enough to not come on my fingers." Once again, a vixen.

"You are indeed very pretty babyboy."Seokmin melted at his words."And since you think you were good enough for an award I'll definitely give you something" Joshua said with a dangerous spark in his voice. Seokmin nodded enthusiastically and watched Joshua as he lowered himself to kiss under his belly button. He teased him for a few seconds, leaving small pecks on his skin but doesn't touch him fully. Seokmin is patient, Joshua expected a plead or a whine but doesn't receive it."I'm actually too tired from work baby." He stood up and faked cracking his neck.

"Oh, that's too bad." Seokmin pouted and stood up too. He cupped Joshua's cheek and learned to peck his lips. He gently pushed him back to sit at his previous place so he was looking down at Joshua this time. "You can go to sleep and I'll make it work without you somehow." That was it, he turned to leave but Joshua pulled him roughly into his lap and kissed him. His kiss is hungry and wet, more tongue that lips and so welcomed. Seokmin moves his hands over his chest and his fingers hook on his waistband. 

"I won." He mumbled and Joshua smiled because of course he did, letting Seokmin have what he wants is his only priority. He palmed his neck gently and moves his head to the side. 

"You see the mirror baby?" He asked into his ear so Seokmin nodded." Since you like taking pictures of yourself so much, you'll love watching yourself as you ride me, won't you." He released his neck to pull him closer by the back of his thighs. "Won't you?"

"I will." 

It escalated quickly after that, Joshua took off his own clothes quickly and made him sit on the bed across from the mirror as he prepared him despite his protests he had done plenty of it already. His legs end up over Joshua’s shoulders and he uses his hands to support himself. Joshua abused the skin of his inner thighs and asked if the press of the chain hurt him after. It didn't so he doesn't take it off as he rode him and obediently watched the mirror instead of his boyfriend under him. However, he got tired so Joshua turned them around and finally kissed him. He could feel the press of Seokmins chain on his lower abdomen with every move. Joshua almost broke the chain when he accidentally pulled it as he was lifting his leg for a better angle. It all ended fine after all, Seokmin’s chain was good and he felt like his brain was fucked out of him. Joshua helped him take it off after he cleaned him up and if simply wearing it was all it took for Joshua to take him like that he would wear it every other day. Maybe buy a few new ones too.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll expand on Seokmin's past more but this was kind of a closure since the final is coming very soon. Stay healthy <3


	17. "Move in?"

i.

"Is this seat taken?" Jeonghan said, sneaking up behind Seokmin and lowering himself to whisper into his ear.

"Has anyone said no to that when you are the one asking?" Seokmin said with a smile, politely gesturing to the seat across from him.

"Well no." Jeonghan smirked after faking thinking about it. Seokmin had called him after Joshua gave him the invitation. He felt bad when Jeonghan sulked on the phone so he had suggested taking him out to a brunch in apology, Jeonghan had of course accepted on the spot. They started an easy conversation after that. Seokmin really liked Jeonghan, somehow he weirdly fit the idea of Joshua's best friend. He was so different yet Seokmin could see that the way they saw things were the same, the way they were ready to give everything to each other.

"So how’s Joshua? I haven't seen him since I gave him the invitation." Jeonghan asked, stirring his fruity cocktail. His pink hair was pinned behind his ear with bobby pins to match his hair color and he looked ethereal. 

"He's good, I suppose." Jeonghan lifted his eyebrows and crossed his fingers under his chin. "I haven't seen him for two days." Which wasn't a lot but it was enough for Seokmin to miss him already. He didn't say anything so he doesn't come off as clingy but it would have been nice if he could wake up next to him every morning. He had kinda got used to that, so when he moved back into his apartment it was strange. But Seokmin got no reason to stay anymore since he was graduating and didn't need silence to study. Or Joshua's encouragement. He was forever grateful for that too. He still could visit whenever but it was pointless without Joshua there.

"I thought you were living together already, Joshua would definitely like that." Jeonghan's words were encouraging but Seokmin still had doubts.

"We're not, I'm still sharing with Mingyu." He sighed. "Or was."

"What do you mean?" 

"He is moving together with Wonwoo, his boyfriend, do you remember him?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely." Jeonghan smiled awkwardly."I'm glad they decided to take that step."

"Yeah I am too, it's just-"Seokmin picked at his half-full plate of pasta with his fork."I don't know if I should start looking for a place or? My cousin and his boyfriend are looking for a place and they like the apartment and would accept to share it with me but I would feel invasive."

"Then talk to Joshua, I promise he would be thrilled to have you around all the time."

"I don't wanna put him in the position of having no choice." Seokmin murmured. He knew he would love living with Joshua, waking up next to him every day was a beautiful dream but he had never been with someone long enough to start talking about moving in together so he was slightly panicking. 

"I moved with Seungcheol a month after we met." Jeonghan snorted. Seokmin knew they were together for many years now and admired the way they still looked at each other. Seokmin didn't answer, just leaned on the table and raised his eyebrows as a sign he wanted a follow-up. "It's not something sweetly romantic if you are expecting love at first sight or something.”Jeonghan tucked a few strands of hair that had escaped behind his ear” I had just moved to study here and didn't like the dorms so when I found out he was looking for a roommate I asked him. We shared a class and I knew his parents were wealthy so when he showed me the apartment he was living in and told me the price I was expected to pay it seemed suspicious. However I was desperate so I accepted, at first I thought he just wanted to get me into his bed, I've seen him looking at me during class, but he didn't touch me, he never suggested anything.”Jeonghan laughed under his breath.” Eventually, I gave in because he was just so hot and respectful, I wasn't used to being treated like that by guys so I started doubting if the signals I was reading were wrong, I kissed him one night and the rest is history. Turns out he had liked me from the start and was just looking for a roommate because he didn't like living alone.". Jeonghan smiled at the thought of his boyfriend."He acts tough but he can be such a baby sometimes, back then he was just used to studying, getting excellent scores and being a good son because he thought he owed his parents at least that, simply for being gay. At first I was reserved, didn't want to give him false hope since he had never been with a man before, however I ended up falling for him nevertheless. I showed him how to live and be true to himself and he made me believe I deserved to be loved and cherished." Jeonghan finished and Seokmin didn't really know what to say at first. 

"It sounds sweetly romantic to me." Seokmin said after the few moments of silence that hung between them. 

"Maybe it does, don't tell Joshua or I wouldn't see the end of it." Jeonghan laughed when Seokmin made the gesture of locking his lips."I guess my point is, we needed each other the same way you and my, sometimes dense, best friend do." 

"You think so?" Seokmin met his eyes.

"You should see the way he talks about or looks at you, to be completely honest I never expected to see him be so gone for somebody. All he thought about was work then he met you and I don't know what you did to him but sometimes it feels like I'm looking at a completely new person." 

"Thank you for saying that." Seokmin said shyly. "Sometimes I still feel like I'm not doing enough so your words really mean a lot."

"How so?"

"You know he's... taking care of me right?"Seokmin was aware that Jeonghan knew, Joshua had told him at their first date that he was the one that had suggested it, the sugar baby thing. At first he was cautious of how he and Seungcheol would treat him, but after their first meeting he had seen they were kind and open-minded so that had been one thing lifted from his chest. Jeonghan nodded. "I'm graduating soon and I would get a job, I've looked into it, it pays well but it's not even close to the amount Joshua makes."

"I understand, the money thing bothered me too in the past." Jeonghan smiled at him warmly and that somehow eased Seokmin's nerves.

"Really? But you are a model."

"I am, for Joshua and a few other brands and designers but that came eventually. I majored in computer science but didn't really like it and Seungcheol saw I was unhappy so he suggested that he take care of things until I find something I enjoy doing. So I was basically a sugar baby of sorts too, until Joshua suggested trying out modeling for him. I ended up loving it and after a while things just worked out." 

"But I like my major." Seokmin sulked, ever since he started studying it he had never imagined working something else.

"I'm not saying you should drop that Seokminnie, not at all, but you need to try seeing it through Joshua's point of view too. The same way Seungcheol wanted me to find something that would make me happy, I'm sure Joshua would be thrilled to see you being content with what you do. I know my best friend, he doesn't care about how much money you make, it's all just numbers of paper, he would never see you as unequal, he's just happy to have you love him the way you do." Seokmin really wanted to hug him right now, he knew Jeonghan was smart but didn't expect him to read his feelings like an open book. In some ways his story with Seungcheol was really similar to him and Joshua." He was so panicked when he realized he was in love with you, he thought it wasn't possible for you to love him back, I'm sure if we ask him right now he would still be thinking he isn't doing enough for you.’’

"How is that possible, he's the most wonderful boyfriend I could ask for?" Seokmin knew there were insecurities behind Joshua but still couldn't find the roots of them. 

"I'm sure he thinks about you the same way." Jeonghan said and squeezed his hand. Seokmin didn't realize how much he had needed to talk with someone about it.

"Is that Yoon Jeonghan?" An unfamiliar voice said behind him before he had the chance to thank Jeonghan again. Seokmin didn't turn but saw Jeonghan's eyes look over his head and the expression behind them changing, however Seokmin couldn't figure why.

"Kang Hyuntae, didn't you move to Finland or something." Jeonghan squeezed Seokmin's hand tighter and threw him an apologetic look. The owner of the voice was standing next to their table then and didn't even bother to spare him a look. He was a tall man, wearing an expensive suit and dark sunglasses.

"France, Paris is one of the fashion capitals as you should know." Seokmin didn't like the way he smiled down at Jeonghan.

"I'm aware" Jeonghan's voice was cold. He was not a friend then.”Sadly you aren't important enough to trouble myself with.” Seokmin took a moment to process the whole exchange.

"Kind as always." He said with the same sickly smile. "Won't you introduce me to your new boy toy, is Choi too busy to join you this time?" 

"I don't see where any of my relationships are your business?"Seokmin hated the way he looked down at his friend or that Jeonghan didn't let go of his hand, somehow to protect him. The man looked at him then. 

"Oh I actually know him, he's Joshua's."He took off his sunglasses, Seokmin didn't want his gaze on him, the way he implied he belonged to someone was cruel too. Sure he enjoyed Joshua saying it to him, that he was his, but these words were allowed to leave only his mouth. Joshua told him he belonged to him with love and adoration, like he was a treasure, but this man said it mockingly.

"My name is Seokmin and I would appreciate it if you don't talk to me as if I'm an object." He pulled out one of his best fake smiles. 

"Feisty." He said with the same tone and looked back at Jeonghan. "Stealing from your supposed best friend, that's low, even for you Jeonghan." 

"I hope you know that you can be friends with someone without fucking them." Jeonghan spit out and his voice was so harsh, Seokmin didn't know he could be like that.

"With you you never know." The man smiled and looked between them one last time."Anyway, I'm in a rush for a meeting, it was nice seeing you both, tell Joshua I sent my warm regards, will you Seokmin-ah?" 

"Have a good day." Jeonghan smiled and said instead of him so the man smirked under his nose and left. Jeonghan kept his dashing smile until he left towards the other part of the restaurant, away from their eyes. Jeonghan dropped his hand then and ran both his hands through his hair, messing up his pins.

"Are you alright?" Seokmin said after a moment.

"I'm fine." Jeonghan nodded. "Don't tell Joshua we saw him."

"I can't lie-"

"You won't be lying, I'll tell him myself but can it be after my party?"

"Okay." Seokmin didn't think he should but he wasn't lying, he would be just keeping it between them for a while, Jeonghan was his friend, after all, he trusted him. Jeonghan sighed and took his hand in his once more. Seokmin looked at their hands confused about a few things." Why did he call me like that?" Seokmin asked. Jeonghan was quiet for a while once more , somehow the atmosphere in the restaurant had become awkward and suffocating.

"Seungcheol and I love each other, so much, and he's the only man for me.”Jeonghan said carefully.”But sometimes we like to..have fun." 

"Fun?" 

"Fun with other people, it's not exactly an open relationship because we only do it together." Oh. 

Well that was kinda unexpected, Seokmin had never heard of someone having this kind of agreement but if they were happy it was none of his business. " Do you understand what I mean?" 

"Well yeah, I'm not a child. " Seokmin laughed. "If that's what you both like, that's your relationship and it's not anyone's business." Jeonghan smiled at him warmly. "It's admirable actually, the trust you have in each other, I don't think I could even bear the thought of Joshua being with someone else." 

Jeonghan laughed at that."He thinks the same way don't worry." Seokmin knew that was true, Joshua could get quite possessive over him. He didn't want to admit but he liked it so much. 

"I'm sure." Seokmin said. "Have you ever thought about asking him to spend a night with you then? He joked. Jeonghan looked away for a moment and ran his tongue over the wall of his cheek.

"About that." He said awkwardly.

Realization struck him then."You didn't." Seokmin gasped and let go of Jeonghan's hand. He shook his head to get rid of the image. 

"Don't be like that, it happened years ago and would never happen again." Jeonghan said, panicked. " Joshua would be mad that I told you."

Seokmin breathed, closing his eyes for a moment."It's alright.".

"Really?"

"Yeah, he has been with people before me and even though I'm not fond of it I can't do anything about it, the most important thing for me is that now he wants only me. I trust my boyfriend and I trust you too." He said and took a sip from his drink he had been neglecting for so low. It was unreasonable of him to expect that Joshua hadn't been with people before him, he was gorgeous after all. He had been with people too, the only thing that mattered now is that they are together.

"I'm glad, I wanna see his reaction when he finds out you know." They both laughed. 

"Wait, so when Mingyu told me he and Wonwoo came over for a drink the night at the club-?" Seokmin asked wide-eyed.

"Well." 

"Jeonghan!"

ii.

Joshua had picked him up from his apartment on Saturday night and said he was free for the entire next day. Seokmin was so happy to spend time with him, lately the only thing he did was counting the days till his graduation day, he had made a list of places he would apply first thing after he gets his diploma. it was just low-paid internships but if he was lucky enough to get accepted it was an amazing opportunity.

It had been such a wonderful evening, Joshua had taken him out for dinner and after that they drove around the city listening to music and enjoying each other's company, then they had come to his apartment and Joshua's attempts of being a gentleman were so cute. 

_ ("Are you tired baby? If not we can watch something or talk on the couch?" _

_ "Or we can skip the part where you pretend to not want to take me to bed just as much as I do and get to the fun part quicker?"  _

_ "If you insist.") _

Seokmin woke up with the intention of getting cuddles and being babied but Joshua's side was empty when he reached for him. He groaned into his pillow but got out of bed after that. He put on a robe Joshua had gotten for him and hoped to find his restless boyfriend in the kitchen. 

Joshua was in fact there, drinking coffee and talking with someone on the phone. Seokmin hoped it wasn't someone from work again, he had promised today was about them. Joshua noticed him then and smiled. 

"What happened Jisoo? Is the connection bad again?" A woman said on the other side of the phone. Her voice sounded soft and warm when she said Joshua's name.

"Mom I want you to meet someone real quick, do you still have time?" Joshua said in English and gestured for him to come closer. Seokmin looked at him with wide eyes and shook his head, he understood what they said. He couldn't meet Joshua's mom in a robe and messy hair. But it was even ruder of him to refuse. He slowly walked to Joshua who turned the chair so he could sit on one of his legs.

"Hello."He said shyly in English.

"Hi." Joshua's mom on the other side waved at him. "I speak Korean, don't worry sweetheart." She said and Seokmin relaxed. 

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Hong." He said kindly and bowed slightly. Joshua's mother was beautiful, it wasn't a surprise. Her straight hair in a natural color fell elegantly over her shoulders, she was wearing little makeup but her skin looked very young and she was wearing a cream-colored suit.

"It's nice to finally meet you too Seokmin, I would be lying if I told you Jisoo has told me a lot about you, but that's his fault for being so private." Seokmin chucked and looked at his boyfriend.

"I can say the same." He looked at the screen and smiled. 

"Oh, Jisoo dear you didn't tell me he's so handsome." She said and smiled just as big. Joshua's mom gave the aura of a woman in power that deserved respect, but her eyes were so warm when she looked at Joshua. 

Joshua nodded and looked at him."He's stunning." Seokmin felt his cheeks heat up from the praise.

“I was just telling Jisoo he should bring you along next time he visits, his father would like to meet you too.” She said before he had the chance to thank her.

“I would love to.” Seokmin nodded, he would really like that.

Joshua's mother's other phone rang and she put it on silent."Ah, unfortunately I have to run I'm sorry." 

"It's alright." Joshua said firmly. Seokmin looked at him.

"It was lovely meeting you, Mrs.Hong." Seokmin turned his gaze towards the phone and waved.

"You too honey, I hope we could meet in person soon." 

And with that she's gone. Joshua locked his phone and placed it next to his mug on the plot. He wrapped his hands around Seokmin's middle and buried his head in his chest.

"I'm sorry she was in a rush, she said there was time." Joshua murmured against the fabric of his robe.

"It's alright, I was too nervous anyway. Next time let's arrange it beforehand so I can get ready."

"What do you mean, you look pretty in the morning." Joshua looked up at him and smiled. 

"Thank you, love, but still." Seokmin said and lowered himself for a kiss. 

"Are you hungry baby?" 

"Food is not what I'm craving right now." Seokmin said sweetly and ran his hand through Joshua's newly blonde hair. He was shocked when he saw him yesterday but somehow it really suits him, every color did apparently, due to his beautiful features.

"Insatiable." Joshua said shamelessly.

"I meant cuddles." Seokmin gasped and escaped his grip, walking towards the bedroom. He wasn't really mad. Joshua came after him and laid on the bed with open arms.  _ A win.  _ Seokmin climbed on top of him, buried his head into his neck and hugged him tightly. Now that's a better start to the day.

"I missed this." He said against the soft skin of Joshua's neck. It hasn't been that long but he was selfish.

"Me too baby, maybe you could stay here this week." Joshua said and rubbed his back. Seokmin nodded at that, he would love that."Or you can just move in?" Joshua said after. Seokmin jumped at that.

"M-move in? As in live with you, permanently?" He said timidly.

"You can say no, I just-" Joshua looked at the ceiling. " I just like having you around, I've kinda got used to your presence and missed having it when you moved back in your apartment." 

"Did Jeonghan say something?" Seokmin asked carefully. 

"Jeonghan?No, why, should he?" Joshua stirred up at that.

"I kind of talked about that with him the other day, Mingyu is moving out to live with Wonwoo so I had to either move out or search for a new roommate." Seokmin sighed, he was so happy Joshua asked him first.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier, angel, how long has it been troubling you?"

"Doesn't matter now, are you sure?" Seokmin whispered.

"Nothing would make me happier." Seokmin's heart started beating quicker in his chest.

"I would love to." He kissed Joshua but couldn't keep himself from smiling. 

"I still demand you telling me when something is making you upset."Joshua said after a few moments. Seokmin was happily laying over his chest and nodded vaguely. "I'll ask the new boy at the reception to get me a spare set of keys." 

"His name is Chan.”Joshua hummed so he continued.”When Minji was working I didn't know her name for so long and felt bad so I made sure to meet him properly, he's actually friends with my cousin and his boyfriend, do you remember them?" 

"How could I forget such a first impression." Joshua chuckled.

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay" Joshua ran his fingers through his hair. "I almost forgot, something arrived yesterday."

"Hm, what?" He felt himself dozing off even though he had just woken up. Joshua moved under him and when he opened his eyes there was an envelope in his hand."Is that?" 

"Yeah, the tests. I was gonna tell you yesterday but you distracted me." Joshua tapped his nose playfully, well that was good.”They are both clean,“

"Of course they are, I told you I always used protection."

"It's not because of you baby, I just wanted to be sure, I can't risk-"

"Whatever, I'm happy." Seokmin interrupted him. "Can we celebrate?"

"I thought all you wanted was cuddles?" 

"Well I changed my mind.” Joshua chuckled.

"Whatever my baby wants."


	18. "Even if the wind blows, we'll bloom."

"Such a pretty baby." Joshua said as he put away the powder brush. They had spent a few hours getting ready for Jeonghan's party. Joshua had suggested helping with his makeup and Seokmin had of course accepted, he knew the basics since the time he worked at the bar but Joshua was naturally better. He was so gentle, as he always was, putting some brown sparkly eyeshadow on his eyelids and light foundation. Seokmin was excited but nervous, he liked all of Joshua's friends but they wouldn't be the only people at the party. He was very content with his life right now, he had moved in with Joshua on Monday and waited for him every night, he cooked them dinner and Joshua was always grateful but said it wasn't necessary, he had visited Mingyu and he was so happy to live with his boyfriend too, he didn't have to worry if he would be able to juggle better an internship and night shifts to afford living. Life was good.

"Do you really think so?" Seokmin said and looked at himself in the mirror. He had never seen himself as spectacularly attractive but his boyfriend made him feel like that every day. 

"Prettiest." Joshua kissed his forehead."I'll tell you every day so you don't ever forget."

"Thank you." Seokmin exhaled. "You look beautiful too."He said earning a smile and another kiss. It was true, every time he looked at Joshua he wondered how he could be so gorgeous. "Seriously, I almost don't wanna go so I could have you all to myself."

"I'm all yours baby, tonight and always." Joshua said and kissed his cheek, his jaw and neck and Seokmin melted into his touch. He stroked the skin around his necklace, which wasn't exactly a choker but it was close enough, it was a beautiful piece, with crystals in the shape of leaves and flower buds wrapped around his neck.

"You know the party can start without us?" Joshua said in his ear and usually Seokmin would never refuse such a tempting offer.

"But you worked so hard on my makeup and hair, I would hate to ruin it." Seokmin smiled and cupped his face. "If we start I can't promise we're ever gonna go."

"You are probably right."Joshua took his hand from his cheek and kissed it.

They ended up being late anyway so when Jeonghan finally spotted them he didn't miss the chance to complain and make a few snarky remarks. There were a lot of people but that was to be expected. Seokmin didn't recognize almost anyone so he kept close to Joshua and his friends. Otherwise everything was beautiful, from the white and golden decorations to the white flower bouquets on each table. There was a band playing live music on a stage in the main room of the hall.

"I thought you weren't coming, I was so bored without you." Jeonghan said and Seokmin noted he looked spectacularly good tonight. "It's so hard to look pretty and pretend I'm interested in what my boyfriend and his acquaintances were discussing." 

"The traffic was horrible," Joshua said.

"Yeah sure." Jeonghan patted his shoulder and went to hook his arm with Seokmin. People greeted them as they walked through the room into another, sometimes his boyfriend and Jeonghan stopped so they could have a small talk with people he didn't know so he just listened and smiled politely, laughed when it was necessary and bowed slightly when they were parting ways. Jeonghan got two glasses of champagne and gave both of them respectfully, it was hardly his drink of choice but it was only polite.

Later they were joined by Seungcheol, who immediately went to hug his boyfriend from behind so Seokmin restricted his hand and went to Joshua, who squeezed his waist. With him arrived Junhui and Minghao, he had met them at Joshua's fashion event and only heard their names in passing later into their relationship. Apparently they have been busy these past few months, flying back and forth between China for Minghao's work and coming back here for Junhui. Right now the couple was talking with Joshua about Minghao's recent photography exhibition, which apparently had gone very well.

"Mind if I steal your boyfriend?" Jeonghan said later that night when he came back after he and Seungcheol had disappeared somewhere in the crowd.

"Only if you bring him back." Joshua squeezed his hand and let him go. He hadn't stopped holding his hand and throwing him worried looks to see if he was too bored or anything.

"Deal." Jeonghan hooked his arm with Seokmin again and led him through the crowd. They bumped into some people on the way so he mumbled apologies while Jeonghan was unbothered and led him to the bar.

"I want something fresh and fruity?" Jeonghan formed it as a question and raised his eyebrows.

"I would die for a raspberry Cosmo right now." He looked through the once familiar shelves of alcohol and saw Jeonghan nodding." Make them two then." He smiled at the bartender.

"Amazing." Jeonghan beamed after getting his drink, turned his chair to the hall and crossed his legs.

"A birdie told me you and Shua had moved in together." Jeonghan said with his elbow leaned onto the bar. He looked so effortlessly good with everything he did, like a real-life prince.

"The birdie asked me himself."That made Jeonghan laugh."It's been wonderful so far , I'm so happy."

"I'm glad for you honey, Joshua deserves to have someone love and take care of him." 

"The talk with you really helped so thank you." Seokmin smiled.

"Ah, it's nothing." Jeonghan brushed it off with a gesture of his hand."Thank you for keeping me company, if I had spent a minute more listening to numbers and shares I would have gone insane." He snorted before taking a sip from his drink.

"What we do for love." Seokmin said and they both laughed. Conversations with Jeonghan were always easy so they talked for a long time, about the past week and a new designer Jeonghan worked with that got on his nerves, about a ridiculous fight he and Joshua had had a few years back but ended up making up exactly three days later, about who was here with their partner and who had brought a side piece.

"It's done babe." Seungcheol said after walking quickly towards their direction.

"Really?"Jeonghan jumped from the chair at the sight of his excited boyfriend.

"Not formally but they would be in the office to sign on Monday." Jeonghan hugged him excitedly and Seungcheol spun him in the air. They kissed after Seungcheol put him down so Seokmin looked away because it felt too intimate.

"Would you excuse us Seokminnie?" Jeonghan said after a second.

"Yes, of course, thank you for the company and congratulations." He said and they both gave him a quick hug before disappearing again. Seokmin was happy for them, They were good people and deserved every bit of success and happiness they got. He drank his cocktail quickly, observing for a while and enjoying the slow music playing in the hall. He wondered if he should get Joshua a drink too. Seokmin opened his phone to see if he had texted him but he wasn't.

"Lee Seokmin." An unfamiliar voice said next to him. He quickly turned his head and was taken aback at first but quickly remembered from where the man, now sitting next to him, was familiar from.

"Mr. Kang." He said politely, he didn't really know why he was talking to him.

"Please call me Hyuntae, no need for formalities." The man, Hyuntae gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes and snapped his fingers to the bartender that was currently preparing a drink for the people a few seats to the right. Seokmin tried to suppress the memories where he was on the other end and rich jerks like him thought they were the only people deserving to be served.

"So how have you been Seokmin." Seokmin didn't like the way he said his name, it made him feel very small. He missed Jeonghan's company. "Did you pass my greetings to Joshua?"

"I didn't have the chance, I apologize."

"It's alright, I forgive you, you are Joshua's little boyfriend after all." He said with the same mocking tone as the first time.

"Speaking of, I should probably go find him." He said intending to leave but Kang Hyuntae caught his hand.

"But we were talking so nicely, keep me company for a few minutes, Joshua is probably too busy right now." Seokmin didn't like the implication he made."Are you enjoying the party?"

"Yes, Jeonghan did a wonderful job." He said coldly.

"Joshua must take you to a lot of parties then?" He asked after getting his drink without even saying thank you to the poor boy behind the bar. Seokmin smiled apologetically."I was actually wondering something, if you don't mind."

"Sure?" Seokmin ignored the first question.

"Are you like, and excuse my words, a fancy hooker or something?" 

"E-excuse me?" He said dumbfoundedly.

"After Jeonghan so politely introduced me I couldn't help myself but be curious about you. I did a little digging." Hyuntae leaned closer like he was gonna tell him the gossip of the century so Seokmin pulled back." I couldn't find any information about your family so I guessed you are not someone important, only that you are a student and have worked only low-paid regular jobs till now." He said it like that was the funniest thing he had heard. Seokmin felt heat coming into his face, he didn't know if it was from anger or anxiety. "My only guess was that maybe you offer your company in exchange for money, you are handsome enough and Joshua is probably a dream client for you, handsome, young and rich, what more can you want." His words felt like bullets in Seokmin's chest, he felt the back of his eyes burn.”Although I don't see what's so special about you.” He had never felt more humiliated and alone in his life. He wanted to say something, needed to defend himself but he couldn't, the words were stuck in his throat, all he managed to do was stare. Was that how people around him viewed him, as a simple object?

"Would you excuse me, Mr. Kang, I think my phone is ringing." It was probably an awful excuse but it was the first he thought of.

"Of course, it may be another client, don't let me keep you from work." Seokmin didn't say anything more just turned and left. He needed air, he felt like the walls were coming closer and he was going to collapse. He walked out in the small garden at the back with his head glued to the ground. He found a small bench surrounded by greenery and sat. His hands were trembling and his head was spinning, he found it hard to breathe. 

The worst thing was that he couldn't even deny it. It seemed like that the more he thought about it, he had started seeing Joshua because he needed money. Sure he was intrigued by him but he would be lying if he said money didn't matter in the beginning. He had been desperate and Joshua's offer was an easy escape. He loved Joshua now, more than anything and he knew it, Joshua knew it but everyone else didn't. He felt grossed out by himself. Hyuntae was right, he had sold himself for money and that made him sick.

"Baby?" He heard Joshua's voice calling but it may have been only his imagination, so he didn't look in its direction. He felt empty, blank and disgusted with himself. Joshua was in front of him then and squatted down to look at him. "What happened baby, why are you crying?" His voice was worried and Seokmin hadn't realized a few tears had fallen down."Talk to me, please."

"I-I can't." He didn't have the strength to look at Joshua and pulled his hands away when he tried to hold them. "Please leave me, I don't-" He didn't know what to say.

"I would not leave you in this condition, even if I have to sit here forever." Joshua said firmly.

"But you should I-I" Seokmin felt his words choking him. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. Chills were running through his body and he felt his heart pounding loudly in his eàrs.

"I'm here sweetheart, it's okay, you are safe with me." Joshua said sweetly."Can I touch you?" Seokmin nodded shortly after, he was terrified and even though he told him to leave he needed Joshua. He carefully took his hands and sat next to him, Joshua placed his hands on his chest and put his own over them. "Can you breathe with me?" Seokmin nodded again, his chest felt painful to even form a word. He followed Joshua's directions and breathed with him. It was excruciating to watch his beautiful boy hurt like that but Joshua could do nothing much to help him. He knew that telling him to calm down was gonna make it worse. Telling a person with a panic attack to calm down is like pushing someone into a swimming pool so they learn how to swim."You are doing amazing, baby, it's gonna be alright." They sat like that, close to each other, Seokmin's hands on his chest, his eyes closed as he took painful breaths, until Joshua could feel his breathing normalizing. That really helped. Seokmin felt the pain of his chest dull and his breathing was becoming easier. He looked into Joshua's eyes and believed him that it was gonna be okay. Seokmin exhaled one last time and closed his eyes. 

"I'm sorry about that." Seokmin said after opening his eyes.

"You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." Joshua reached to stroke his cheek but hesitated before touching him. Seokmin moved closer to his hand and Joshua relaxed."May I ask what happened?" 

Right. 

Seokmin remembered the whole reason he was like that. He pulled himself back on the small bench and looked down at the ground."Do you-" He sighed, no." I think you deserve better."

"Better?" Joshua asked hesitantly.

"Sometimes I can't help but wonder. You are beautiful and young, successful and rich, you could do so much better than me, why don't you?"

"Why are you saying these things all of a sudden?"

"Think about it, he's right, I'm not important enough, I can't give you almost anything." He really didn't have anything to offer, other than his love, it was enough for Joshua for now but they both didn't know what the future held.

"Who's he?" Joshua’s voice was harsh.

"Kang Hyuntae.”Seokmin said quietly.”We met last week and Jeonghan didn't want me to tell you before the party." 

"He's here?" Joshua looked like he was ready to jump right this second but didn't, this name made him look angrier than Seokmin had ever seen him. 

"Who's he? Why did he make Jeonghan upset the other day and why did he say these things to me?"

"He's no one baby, at least no one whose opinion matters." Joshua said and took his hands. Seokmin let him.”Wait, what kind of things?”

"Tell me." Seokmin demanded ignoring his question.

Joshua sighed."Let's go home first." 

"No, we are not gonna bring this into our home. I know you don't like talking about yourself but If you want me to be honest with you, I expect the same thing in return."

"What does it matter, it's all in the past." Joshua smiled at him sweetly but he wasn't gonna melt him this time.

"Maybe you are right, it doesn't, but you know everything about my past and I know next to nothing. I love the person you are right now so much, nothing would change that." 

Joshua looked at him for a long time but eventually took a deep breath and relented. He owed Seokmin honesty. He should probably start from the beginning.

"I was twenty years old when I moved back here from America, or rather my parents made me do it. They really didn't like the person I became there. We argued almost every day, I hardly came home and my grades were awful. "He paused but Seokmin didn't push him, he was ready to wait the whole night if he had to."So they decided it was finally time for me to go to university, my father pulled a few strings so I got accepted in the same one he graduated from. I hated every second of it." His lips barely curled up. " I despise the person I was back there, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth yet still thought I was a victim. Needless to say, I dropped out of business school and signed myself into art school as a fashion major. Then I thought my parents were disappointed in me for being gay so I wanted to make them even angrier. I worked hard and started actually loving it, to be able to express your feelings freely and create beautiful pieces of art in the process was incredible, felt right." Seokmin nodded and returned his smile. He felt Joshua stiff next to him and squeezed his hand."That's where I met him, Hyuntae I mean. His parents hold one of the biggest fashion brands right now so he was naturally their heir and needed to have a degree. We became friends after that." Right, this was the main part." He was great at the business part and very ambitious but lacked in the talent and creativity fields, it was the opposite for me so we naturally helped each other. We graduated, both with fairly good results, he got me an internship at his parents’ company so that night we went out to celebrate and accidentally slept together. He was the closest thing to a best friend I had at the time and I really didn't want to lose him. He liked me, I always had a feeling but I never returned his feelings. However, when he assured me we can have an... intimate relationship without feelings involved I accepted, what could possibly happen right." Joshua laughed but it sounded fake and monotone."It was fine at the start but I had to ruin it of course, we were never exclusive so I went out with guys and had fun without telling him." Seokmin couldn't really picture him like the type of person but he didn't know him back then." One night I met Jeonghan and Seungcheol, we-" Joshua stroked the back of his neck.

"It's fine, I know." Seokmin smiled reassuringly. It wasn't such a big deal.

"Who-nevermind I know. Okay so after that night I started spending time with them, platonically of course, we just clicked. I don't know how he found out. At the time we were working on a big collection, it was gonna be under his parents’ brand but both our names would have been listed. It would have been the biggest jump in our careers, I worked so hard for it, made sure it was perfect. He held a show behind my back and stole the whole collection, at the time I was so angry with him. I thought he was my friend, I felt betrayed and furious. However, looking at it now I had hurt him and he hurt me back in the only way he knew he could. I was heartbroken, so much work and sleepless nights for nothing. Fashion was the only thing I still felt passion for and losing that took a toll on me." 

"He wasn't your friend." Seokmin mumbled. A friend would never willingly hurt you even if you hurt them first.

"But I wasn't a good friend either, playing with his heart like that wasn't right, I acknowledge that now."

"You were young." 

"I was a year older than you baby, my age was not an excuse, I know you would never do that to someone." He was right, Seokmin didn't like playing with people's feelings because he himself had gotten hurt before."Anyway, I recovered from it, with Jeonghan and Seungcheol's help, the internship really helped me and a few years after I was fortunate enough to start working for myself and finally start supporting myself too. I thought me and Hyuntae were past, we were even after all, but I guess I hurt him more than he hurt me. My name is blacklisted from all the major partners of his brand still to this day." Joshua finished his story with a sigh. "Looking back at it we were too immature, the whole argument seems so ridiculous to me but apparently I'm the only one. I'm not proud of myself so I did my best to change."

"I'm sorry, about your work, I'm sure you did an amazing job." Seokmin smiled.

"Thank you, angel." Joshua slowly pulled him in for a hug and Seokmin let him. They both needed each other close.

"Thank you for being honest." Seokmin said after they pulled away but Joshua kept him close."Do you think if we had met when you were my age we would have fallen the same way?" 

Joshua smiled before answering. "You are the kindest, prettiest and lovelies boy baby." 

“But?”

Joshua stroked his cheek."But at that time I wasn't looking for that, the only thing that mattered to me were my clothes and getting someone in my bed for the night so I wasn't lonely. If we had met back then I would have probably slept with you, because you are  beautiful obviously , then left you on read and ignored you. I hate even thinking about it." 

"Well if it makes you feel better I wouldn't have slept with you in the first place." That made Joshua laugh and Seokmin really loved the sound of it.

"I know you wouldn't, you are so..you. Of course I thought you were cute the first time we met, the way you blushed was so adorable baby." Joshua squeezed his cheek and Seokmin whined." Then Seungcheol told me you were gonna lose your job and Jeonghan suggested the whole deal and at first I didn't think it would work because no one had held my interest for long. But then i got to know you little by little and I felt drawn to you, on our first date when you told me my offer was too much I was surprised. Usually people are greedy and would take easy money in the blink of an eye, but you were so innocent and just wanted to have enough for education so I wanted to help you. I still remember how excited you were when I took you to the show, I was so used to these things so it wasn't a big deal for me but seeing your smile and excitement, it made me happy. You are so radiant and exquisite, You appreciated the smallest things I did for you and your presence started bringing light to my days. “Joshua stroked under his jaw with his thumb.”At first I didn't wanna sleep with you because I thought if I did I would get bored, lose the only thing that brought me joy but when I heard you sing I couldn't help myself. However, that only helped me realize I had fallen in love with you and you know the rest. You are my everything Seokminnie.", Seokmin saw Joshua's eyes water, he didn't cry, he never did. He brushed a few blonde strands of hair off Joshua's forehead and kissed him, pouring everything he didn't know how to say into it. 

"Hyuntae wanted to hurt me, by the way." Joshua said later." Whatever he said to you it was mainly aimed at me. He must have seen us together in the pictures from the show and wanted to try and hit me in the weakest spot. Before you I hadn't really had a public relationship so he must have assumed we were serious." Right, his words, Seokmin had almost forgotten. "He moved to Europe a few years ago so I hoped I'd seen the last of him but I guess not, his brand wasn't doing the best after they were caught stealing designs from small creators. That's a scandal you can't easily recover from."

"That's awful."

"Do you feel comfortable enough to tell me what he said?" Joshua asked carefully.

Seokmin looked at him. Joshua was honest so it was his turn. "I love you, so much." He whispered, he didn't know to who, Joshua or himself, he had said it so many times and would be saying it for the rest of his life." And I know you would be mad at me for thinking that but just listen okay. I love you, more than anything but at the beginning I didn't. I was kinda at a dead end and your offer seemed like an easy escape, the straw I can catch so I didn't drown, losing my job was unthinkable. I couldn't depend on my grandma because she was alone and with age, the expenses for medication and other necessities increased, she still thinks I have a full scholarship. I needed the money. I didn't think about it like that at first but he is right, I sold myself and I would never forgive myself for that. Almost every night I laid in my bed thinking about the whole thing and thought about ending it, keep the remaining pride I had left and look for a job but you had to be the most perfect person and make me fall in love with you, the money doesn’t even matter to me as long as I have you. It is becoming better now, I had a conversation with Jeonghan and his words really did help. You and your friends know I love you, I hope you do but other people don't." Saying all those things made them feel more real. Joshua cupped his face and looked in his eyes. 

"Other people don't need to know any of it, and even if they do I don't care, the only thing that matters is you baby." And maybe that really was the most important thing. He had Joshua, what more could he want?

"You are right, I know you are, it's just-"Seokmin looked away, he didn't want to say those awful words looking into his eyes."When he called me a "fancy hooker" and told me I wasn't important was a really low blow.”

"He did what?" 

It happened really quickly, one moment Joshua was looking into his eyes and the next he was standing up and walking angrily inside the building. Seokmin ran after him after he realized what was happening. He called Joshua's name but the other didn't acknowledge it. The hall was almost empty so he didn't bump into anyone or lose Joshua out of his sight. Seokmin spotted Hyuntae before Joshua did in the middle of the room laughing in the company of two girls in pretty dresses. 

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Joshua raised his voice, scaring the poor girls who took a step back. Seokmin felt really bad for them. Hyuntae turned slowly with the same mocking grin he had while talking to him earlier.

"Joshua, it's really great to see you again." Hyuntae said and tried to touch his arm but Joshua flinched from the touch with disgust. 

"I don't wanna play your games Hyuntae, you've crossed a line." Joshua spit out and Seokmin had never heard his voice like that. He was so used to hearing it saying lovely things to him that it didn't feel like his Joshua. He felt eyes on the back of his neck, the few remaining guests were gonna witness the show of a lifetime Seokmin didn't want to partake in.

"I see, Seokmin had passed my greetings finally, took him long enough." Hyuntae looked behind Joshua to him so he hid behind his back, not his proudest moment.

"Do not even dare saying his name." Seokmin felt a hand wrapping around his body and saw Seungcheol and Jeonghan on both his sides. Seungcheol held him tightly and he was grateful for the grounding touch. Jeonghan stepped next to Joshua and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't remember inviting you Hyuntae, but I guess the most annoying flies always find their way in."Jeonghan spoke calmly, the same way he did the first time. "You look good, I guess it's true what they say, makeup does wonders." Seokmin heard people giggling behind their backs.

"The invitation must have been lost in the mail, I, of course, wouldn't risk the chance of disrespecting you and not show, we're all friends after all." Hyuntae drank up all of his drink and threw the glass to the side, the sound of it breaking echoing in the big hall. He walked around Jeonghan and Joshua and stood before him. Joshua tried to stop him but Jeonghan stopped him from making a scene, not that it had any point now. "Seokmin and I had a good chat before you showed up, don't you think?" The question was now directed at him, however Seungcheol stepped between them, answering instead. "May I offer my driver or a taxi, I think it's time for you to leave."

"You people always have to spoil all the fun, it's a party after all." Hyuntae said, gesturing with his hands up the air and spinning on his heels." You must be so bored all the time Seokmin-ah, with people like that around you, the pay must really be worth it." 

"Hyuntae I swear if you don't fucking shut up and say one more word I'll ruin you, I'll make sure to tear your life apart in ways you can't imagine." Joshua had escaped Jeonghan's grip and was now between them again. Seokmin had seen his eyes for a split second, full of anger and disgust.

"Joshua." He said but it came out more like a whisper. He looked at Seungcheol and the other understood, releasing his body. He slowly walked in front of Joshua, turning his back to Hyuntae and all the other people. No one mattered. "Shua, it's okay." He said and Joshua slowly looked at him, his gaze immediately turning soft. 

"I can't-won’t let him say those things to you." He whispered between them.

"His words don't matter, you said it yourself, I'm a big boy, I can deal with it." He stroked Joshua's cheek and didn't let him break their eye contact. He dropped his hands to hold Joshua's for a moment. He needed it before what he was about to do.

"I would like to ask you to stay away from us, Mr. Kang" Seokmin said once he collected enough courage to turn around and face him.

Hyuntae smirked and rolled his eyes."How romantic, I guess Joshua still can't fight his battles."

"This is not a battle, I'm politely asking you to back off, I haven't done anything to you.”Seokmin said calmly. ‘’But even if it was, you have nothing." 

Hyuntae laughed at that."He can bite too, I'm surprised, you didn't seem the kind. I actually am starting to like you Seokmin-ah." 

"I don't know what you seem to think is going on, frankly I don't care." He said, ignoring his degrading words."But you have no right to mess with our relationship just because of some ridiculous old argument. “He stepped closer.”That's why I'm kindly asking you to leave me out of it, I'm not saying you and Joshua should become friends, you can still be work rivals, I don't care." He smiled politely." Joshua told me the whole story and even though what you did was horrible I can see where you were coming from, however-."

"Did he now? I bet he skipped a few details, about how I was the first person that accepted him without questions and the one he came to when he had an argument with his parents, about when he-" 

"Don't interrupt me."Seokmin said, raising his voice to talk over him." I don't give a single fuck about your version of the story, Joshua told me everything he thought was necessary and I prefer to believe my boyfriend's words. However-"He continued where he had left off."I'm not stupid, I recognize what he did to you was cruel, he had made a mistake and he told me he regretted it. I am not apologizing on his behalf, don't get me wrong. I know both of your stories are not the best depiction of the truth."

Hyuntae was looking at him dumbfounded." if you don't believe me or want to listen to me I don't think we should be even talking." 

"I believe that Joshua has hurt you, apart from that I don't care, Joshua is the man I love, you are nothing but a stranger, I would choose him even if he was the one to blame completely. "He paused, taking a breath to collect his thoughts." I didn't know him back then so I'm defending the person that he is now, he is kind, loving, and selfless when it comes to the people he loves. Joshua gave me everything when I thought I had nothing, he loved me when I thought I didn't deserve it. Do you know what it feels like to choose between paying your rent and eating? If fucking sucks, I wish you would never experience that." His eyes burned but he wasn't gonna cry, not now. "Joshua came into my life and made me his treasure, no one had loved me the way he does, he didn't just play with my heart, he listened to me, helped me with my university assignments, made sure I had eaten and didn't pressure me to open myself to him before I was ready. Joshua made me feel safe, he's the only reason I wake up most mornings, he's my everything."

"I don't see how that's relevant." Hyuntae said but his voice wasn't as cocky and painful to the ear as before. 

"Maybe you are right Mr. Kang, I got carried away. My point is, you don't know Joshua the way I do, you think you know him from the soaked with hatred version from the past but he's not the same person now. He's the love of my life and I wouldn't let you hurt him by hurting me. I'm the only vulnerable spot in the picture but you underestimate me. I don't care what you or any of the people in this room think of me, of our relationship. You may have shaken me for a bit but he helped me stand up, like he always does. Joshua has everything, his career is at its peak, he has his friends and parents, he has me. You can't hurt him, the only one that would be wounded would be me." Seokmin felt exhausted, the only thing he wanted was to curl up in Joshua's arms and never let him go." I am once again asking you to leave us alone, I didn't do anything to you, I believe you aren't a bad person, you were just unfairly hurt, but don't you think it's a little hypocritical of you to do the same to me? I was just a child when this whole thing happened, I don't deserve this." 

"You are right." Hyuntae said after a few moments of painful silence. Well Seokmin certainly didn't expect that. "I'm willing to back off. As I said I kinda like you Seokmin-ah, and even though I don't appreciate the tone you used I can see your point. I guess I was bored and didn't acknowledge I would hurt someone innocent in the process, you were just a marionette, don't take offense to my words."

"Thank you for acknowledging that, I'm not "Joshua's", I'm not an object, I'm a person with a life." 

"I understand that, believe it or not, Joshua isn't the only person that had changed throughout the years, who knows maybe under different circumstances we would have become friends." Hyuntae smiled and for the first time his smile didn't feel fake. "I apologize to you only, don't get the wrong idea." He looked between him and Joshua

"It's more than enough, thank you and good night, Mr.Kang." Seokmin reached his hand and Hyuntae shook it, looking around the room then back to him, nodding before he left. Seokmin watched him exit the hall and only then his shoulders relaxed. He turned around and looked at Joshua, who hadn't turned his eyes off him. He smiled and opened his arms and Seokmin ran in his embrace. 

"You are spectacular angel, I-" Joshua said and pulled away so they were looking at each other. He stroked Seokmin's cheekbones with his thumbs. "You are so precious and sweet, my babyboy, that sometimes I forget you can defend yourself like that."

"Well you better not forget it." Seokmin wrapped his arms around his waist. He looked around and people were still looking at them, even Jeonghan and Seungcheol, who smiled at him. He buried his face into Joshua's shoulder then, feeling the whole confidence disappear, he was safe now.

"Would you do me the honor?" Joshua said and Seokmin heard a quiet guitar play in the back.

"People are staring." His words were muffled.

"So, let them, you are so beautiful tonight." Seokmin blushed at that but stepped back, moving his hands to wrap around Joshua's neck. He felt his hands rest over the small of his back to pull him closer.

"The love of your life huh?" Joshua teased.

"You are smart, you should have figured that yourself." Joshua only chuckled and moved closer to his ear, Seokmin expected a snarky remark or something dirty, however he didn't expect Joshua to sing to him. Well technically it was more of a whisper but his voice sounded heavenly either way.  _ "I guess it started from the day I met you." _ His breath tickled Seokmin's ear and he trembled into his touch." _ You shine too blindingly bright to be refused. _ " Seokmin saw from the corner of his eye Jeonghan and Seungcheol joining them on the dance floor, followed by Junhui and Minghao and other couples after that.  _ "Your eyes are looking at me, your voice is calling me." _ Seokmin stroked the back of his neck with his fingers, enjoying the words whispered into his ear, only for him.  _ "They are so beautiful." _ Joshua pulled away to press their foreheads together _."I would never let go of you, please stay forever beside me." _ Seokmin kissed him then, not caring if people were watching or not. It was so perfect, everything was with Joshua. The kiss was gentle, soft, led more from their love than anything else. Joshua kissed him slowly and his lips moved with the rhythm of the familiar music, he loved this song so much.

_ "Even if the world is cold-" _ He broke the kiss, surprising Joshua. He knew his boyfriend loved it when he sang. _ "Even if the wind blows, we'll bloom." _ Joshua smiled at him and hugged him tightly even though they were supposed to be dancing. _ "I will never never let go of you, please stay forever beside me." _

"Promise." Joshua said after the song ended.

"Promise." Seokmin whispered. Of course he did.


	19. One day and forever

"Maybe I should've waited at home, you haven't seen each other, you have stuff to talk about." Joshua is practically buzzing next to him, Seokmin doesn't think he's seen him this nervous, it's adorable but unnecessary. 

"I visited last month and we talk every week." Seokmin rang the doorbell, he had his keys with him but thought it'd be more appropriate."Plus she's as excited to meet you babe, just calm down.'

The door opened before Joshua had the chance to answer and he was already bowing. He needed to make a good impression. 

"A pleasure to meet you Mrs.-"He panicked, Seokmin had failed to mention if his grandmother shared his last name, she probably didn't. " Lee?" Joshua pulled out his most charming smile and extended the small bouquet of flowers. He felt Seokmin's hand on the small of his back for reassurance.

"Thank you, It's nice to finally meet you too Jisoo." Seokmin's grandmother is shorter in real life, of course Joshua had seen her only in one picture. Her eyes look kind when she smiles, she feels...homey, like most sweet grandparents do. She accepted the flowers and hugged him briefly, just the appropriate amount for a first meeting."My sweet boy." She coos as she turned to her grandson and Seokmin hugged her. The big smile on his lips is absolutely endearing.

"Come in, come in, I made lunch." 

"You didn't have to, grandma."

"Nonsense, you know I miss cooking for you."She said, disappearing in the kitchen to get the flowers some water."Why don't you show Jisoo around the house while I prepare the table?"

After making sure she didn't want help Seokmin took his hand and led him up the stairs. It's cozy, that's the best word to describe it. The walls are painted in pastel colors that had faded as the years had passed and family pictures were hanging on the walls of the hallway.

"So this is my room." Seokmin introduced as he opened a door. It was the typical bedroom you'll expect from a teenager really, there were movie and band posters on the walls, a bookshelf with more action figures and random things than books, the bed was covered with pillows and a few plushies and there was a string of fairy lights on the bed frame.

"Adorable." Joshua smiled as he picked up the biggest toy, a light brown fluffy puppy with funny ears, stuck-out tongue and a missing eye."What's its name?'

"I didn't name my toys, don't make fun of me!' Seokmin wined and took back his toy to place it next to the other ones."I wasn't allowed to have pets so this was the closest thing."

"Do you want a pet?"

"Really? Seokmin said and Joshua thought he saw his eyes sparkle. Joshua moved closer to place his hands on his waist and nodded. "It would make me so happy."He pulled Joshua in a hug."The apartment feels lonely when you aren't around." Seokmin said against his neck. "It would have to be a puppy though, I'm allergic to cats."

"I.. didn't know that." Joshua pulled away to look at him." Puppy it is then." He said and placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's lips. Somehow getting a pet together doesn't scare him the way he thought it would in the start, somehow this feels like one of the first steps in his future, in their future. They stay like that, exchanging little kisses in each other's arms until Seokmin's grandma lets them know lunch is ready with a quiet knock on the door.

"Memories." Seokmin smiled as he released him. Joshua raised his eyebrows."My first girlfriend used to come over for study dates and we would try kissing but my grandparents checked on us every twenty minutes or so." 

"What about if you brought a boy over?" 

Seokmin shook his head."I never did, I was scared so ignoring my feelings was easier" His lips curled slightly at the corners. "My experience with guys isn't the best, I never even imagined I would meet someone half as wonderful as you." Joshua smiled at that. He remembered the feeling of being different, of the sadness he felt every time someone asked him about a girlfriend, of hiding who he truly was. When he was a kid the only happy future that was presented to him was if he found a nice girl to marry and she gave him a lot of children. He was so happy that he had finally found a person that made him believe he deserved a happy end too.

"I'm so happy I found you too baby."He learned for a last quick kiss."C'mon let's go down, I feel like the dog is looking at me weirdly." He joked.

"Maybe I should bring Lilly home?"

"So it does have a name!" 

The lunch went good overall, Joshua found out he didn't have a reason to be nervous, Seokmin's grandma was as nice and warm as he had heard, her cooking was amazing too.

"So Seokminnie, tell me how did you and this wonderful gentleman meet?" His grandma asked and Joshua smiled at the compliment. Seokmin looked at him and panicked.

"We met at his work actually." Joshua said instead.

"At the cafe." Seokmin quickly added.

"Right." Joshua nodded." I was out for lunch with friends and then I saw him behind the bar, he had the most beautiful smile I've ever seen." Joshua said, maybe the location wasn't true but his words were."Then I gave him my number and the rest is not that interesting." Seokmin smiled at him gratefully, if he wasn't comfortable sharing the whole story it wasn't his place too.

They talked about other things after that, then Joshua helped carry the bags while Seokmin led his grandma to the car. The ride was short and quiet, Joshua held himself from reaching to put his hand on Seokmin's thigh, it had become sort of a habit of his. His grandma insisted on staying in a hotel even though they both reassured her it was perfectly alright to use the guest bedroom, so Joshua made sure she had a room in the closest hotel to their place, a short five-minute walk. Seokmin had to hold the poor woman when they walked into the lobby and then into the room. They said their goodbyes so she could rest with a promise to pick her up for dinner.

ii.

Seokmin was buzzing with excitement. He woke up in his home, wrapped in the arms of the man he loved. A few sun rays were peeking through the closed blinds and the room was warm. It was finally his graduation day which he had been waiting for so long and he would get to spend it with the people he loved. 

He was truly the happiest man alive.

He woke up Joshua with kisses, who was grumpy at first but gave in eventually and they spent maybe an hour cuddling, kissing and just enjoying each other. Then they got dressed up and picked his grandma for brunch and were later joined by Seungkwan and his boyfriend, unfortunately they had to leave them too early because he had to get ready.

They took a bath, well the original plan was for him to do it alone while Joshua gets his suit and gown ready but after a few protests and pouts he won. It was perfect, he had ordered a box with different types of bath bombs one night while he was bored and the water was pink and had glitter particles, and even though it was shorter than their usual baths because Joshua didn't let him distract him it was nice. Then he got dressed in the most beautiful suit he had seen. Joshua had worked so hard on it and it was just perfect, he almost cried when he saw himself in the mirror. Being so loved was still weird sometimes. He made sure to thank his boyfriend more times than necessary and tell him how much he loved him even more. Joshua did his makeup after, he had offered to call one of his friends that worked on the models but Seokmin refused, he was getting nervous with each passing second and being alone with Joshua was calming. Seokmin requested bolder eyeshadow this time and even some eyeliner. He wasn't sure that he could pull it off when he looked at the mirror but Joshua insisted he looked pretty. And beautiful. And stunning.

Later the driver picked them up and they went to the ceremony hall where they would meet up with his grandma, Seungkwan and Hansol. He was glad his cousin was there because leaving Joshua and his grandma alone could be awkward even though they got along so well. He was so happy about that.

-

Seokmin didn't part from his friends after the ceremony ended, he stood close to Mingyu and they held hands through the whole thing, only releasing each other to walk across the stage when their names were called. When it was his turn he thought he would faint but hearing his family cheering him up eased his nerves, even if it was just a little, he also noticed Jeonghan and Seungcheol next to Joshua too. 

Wonwoo was the first to join their small group , with the biggest smile, and had ran towards Mingyu to pull him in the biggest hug. Seokmin saw him taking a few steps back after catching his boyfriend and quietly giggled with Yugeyom and Bambam next to him. They excused themselves quickly after too so Seokmin was glad when he saw his family walking towards him. The first that reached him was Seungkwan of course, the younger was overflowing with excitement and clung to him for a long time. Then Hansol gave him an awkward half-hug and Seokmin tried to suppress his laughter. His grandma wiped her tears with a napkin before hugging him and Seokmin felt the tears burning his eyes too. He was too tall so he had to lean down so she could pet his hair like she always did. Having her there was the most precious thing for him. Then he got a joint hug from Jeonghan and Seungcheol with an apology for being late. He was so happy to see them here, He felt close to them even after such a short period of knowing each other. 

And then there was Joshua. 

He had waited patiently, with the biggest smile on his lips. Seokmin didn't shy away from throwing himself into his arms, not caring if anyone was looking. This was his day.

"I'm so proud of you baby." Joshua said into his ear, only for him."You did so well." Seokmin felt like he could cry now. He tightened his arms around his boyfriend who responded with the same. Before he hadn't known how much he had needed to hear those words so each time Joshua said them he felt warm."This is for you."Joshua said once they parted and gave him a bouquet of sunflowers. He hadn't even noticed it.

"You've remembered." Joshua had asked him about his favorite flowers a few months back, after he was worried the ones he sent weren't good enough. He smelled the flowers and smiled, they didn't have a strong scent but always made him feel happy. "Thank you." He said and kissed Joshua, who placed one of his hands on his waist. He loved being held by him. The kiss felt gentle and subtle until he deepened it. He ran his fingers through Joshua's blonde locks, forgetting about anything else. A couple more kisses after they heard Jeonghan clearing his voice. 

''Okay lovebirds we get it."Seokmin blushed and hid his face in Joshua's neck.

"You looked so breathtaking up there, couldn't take my eyes off you."Joshua ignored his friend. He kissed Seokmin's cheek and stroked it with his thumb after. "Now, are we all ready for dinner?"Joshua said after, clearing his voice and turned, intertwining their fingers.

Unfortunately, Jeonghan and Seungcheol couldn't join them at the restaurant, something to do with an urgent flight to London in a few hours but nevertheless Seokmin was grateful that they showed up at all. 

The night went wonderful, the restaurant Joshua had picked was absolutely astonishing, the food and wine were delicious. Seokmin was a little overwhelmed, being the center of attention, he had been embarrassed when Joshua insisted he wanted to hear the childhood stories his grandma started telling. Everything felt so nice, his head was starting to get dizzy little by little but he leaned into Joshua. 

Before dessert Seokmin's grandma surprised him by pulling out a small envelope from her purse and gave it to him with a sad smile. The paper looked old and when he turned it he knew why. His fingers started shaking right when he read the two words. _ "From mom. _ " He looked at his grandma, who nodded at him to continue. He opened the letter with trembling fingers and took a deep breath before reading it, it wasn't that long but the tears in his eyes were evident, then he read it again and a third time. Seokmin was so happy. He cried hugging his grandma and was thankful they were in a somehow private booth. He snuggled close to Joshua after and held his hand. 

"Are you sure you are okay sweetie?" His grandma asked after the very quiet desert when he had calmed down. Chocolate always helped. " Maybe I should've waited."

"No, I'm glad you gave it to me, I cried out of happiness."He reassured her." I miss her so much." 

"I miss her too." She reached out to pet his hair." She is proud of you, as much as I am. I'm sure she is happy you found love too, Jisoo is a wonderful boy." Seokmin nodded. He absolutely was, even more. 

After dinner Joshua insisted that the driver should take his grandma, Seungkwan and Hansol home instead of taking taxis and they eventually agreed, leaving them together for a few peaceful moments while they waited. They said their goodbyes and Seokmin could finally relax fully. It's not that he was uncomfortable around the three, the opposite actually, but right now all he needed was to be held. He was tired. He sat next to Joshua and hugged him around the waist, resting his face in the crook of his neck. Joshua wrapped his hands around him, slowly rubbed his back and kissed his hair. 

"Babyboy."Joshua said after a long time of sweet silence. Seokmin took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar cologne and lifted his head after to look at him."Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yeah I-." He sighed."I am now." 

"I got you a present."Joshua said to distract him. 

''A present?" Seokmin asked curiously. Joshua hesitated for a moment, then pulled out his wallet and took out a credit card, a similar one to the card he had and gave it to him."Do you remember when you said you weren't comfortable asking for things?" Seokmin nodded."Well this way you wouldn't have to, it's in your name, that way you can buy whatever you need without asking, I promise I wouldn't even look at the history." Seokmin looked between the card in his hand then at Joshua and back to the card, without speaking a word."Are-did I upset you angel?"

"No, it's just-"

"I don't want to offend you, I just want you to have everything you need, I wanted to do a joint account but it's not possible at the moment."Joshua blurted out quickly, Seokmin could feel the tension in his shoulders.

"Thank you."He said finally, sparing him from his anxious thoughts."Not only for the card but for trusting me." Seokmin said and put his free hand on his cheek.

"There is a limit but just because I had to put one." Joshua placed his own palm over it."Don't worry, it's more than you'll spend. "

"That's too bad, I was thinking of what color plane I should get." Seokmin smiled and looked at the card, then spun it with his fingers.

"Speaking of-" Joshua started and he immediately looked up.

"I swear to God if you bought a plane or something I'll break up with you." 

Joshua waved his hands in denial."I'm just kidding." He moved closer so their foreheads were touching and closed his eyes. "I'm happy you weren't upset about the card, Jeonghan hinted about your talk and your worries, I can assure you everything he told you was true, even though I don't know the full story."Joshua took his hands and brought them to his lips to kiss his knuckles. Every time he did that Seokmin melted. A waiter came a second later with the bill so he gave him his new card to try it out. They left the restaurant after Joshua got a text, hand in hand to where the driver had parked. 

"I did buy you a car though.", Joshua said quietly in his ear at the back seat on the way home.

iii.

Joshua poured two glasses of wine as he waited for Seokmin to get out of the shower. He had done this first thing after they went up from the garage. Seokmin had been pretty excited to see the present after he got over the initial shock. And true to his word there it was, a shiny red Tesla right in front of him. At first, when Joshua gave him the key, which was shaped like a little car too, he couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it when he unlocked the car and got in the driver's seat too. Reasonably he didn't start the car as much as he wanted to try it out, he had been drinking after all, instead he hugged Joshua, who was next to him whispering thank yous and I love yous into his shoulder. 

Seokmin had started complaining how he felt awful for sweating so much because he was nervous on stage in the elevator on their way up and had hopped into the shower quickly. Joshua took one of the wine glasses and walked to the window, he thought of putting on some music but decided against it, quite enjoying the silence.

Joshua heard the quiet steps of his boyfriend but didn't turn, instead he leaned into his arms when he hugged him from behind. Joshua felt his wet hair touching his neck when he leaned to kiss his nape."I'm ready." Seokmin murmured against his hot skin. Joshua tilted his neck for better access and Seokmin kissed the warm skin.

Joshua turned around after and looked at his eyes, then down over his body. He was wearing a robe, loosely tied around his waist, exposing almost all of his chest. Pretty was always the first word that popped into Joshua's mind whenever he looked at him. It was unbelievable how much he adored every little part of him, from the crescents of his eyes when he smiled to the adorable mole on his cheek that he loved to kiss, to his soft tan skin.

"You look beautiful."He said because it was true. At first, his compliments were brushed off or made Seokmin embarrassed and Joshua suspected it was because he wasn't used to being praised often. That whole thought was scandalous. He had fallen in love with every little detail of him and wanted to show him, he was in love with his dark eyes, his adorable nose, his smile and lips, his collarbones, his hips and thighs, yes, he especially adored those and couldn't keep his hands to himself when it came to that, he wanted to kiss, mark, hold."This was where I kissed you for the first time, do you remember angel?" Joshua brushed off his wet hair gently and kissed his temple.

"Wrong, I kissed you." Joshua chuckled at his answer. Seokmin took Joshua's glass from his hand and took a sip, kissing him right after. The wine tasted even better on his lips. This time, when their lips met, it was all passion and desperation, quickly becoming messy, falling into each other recklessly.

"Would you like-"

"Yes!"Seokmin cut him off."Whatever you want, I'm yours, make my day even better."

Joshua smiled and moved his fingers to untie the robe. He snaked his hands around his waist under it after and pulled him closer, tighter. Joshua caged him against the window, it was still endearing how he needed to look up at him, barely so but still. A pause in which they both breathed heavily close to each other. Seokmin didn't look as desperate as he would like so he fixed his mind of making sure of it, to turn him into a needy whining mess and make him lose his words. Joshua kissed him hungrily, he did so with determination and force, He guided his hand down over his thigh and lifted it, pressing into him. Seokmin's free hand traveled to his jaw and moaned against his lips, which always made electricity run down his body. He pulled Joshua's hair then and used his grip to lean his head backward and softly kissed the skin under his jaw, Joshua waited for the harsh burn of teeth against his skin but it never came, instead he felt a few soft licks, then his lips were captured again. It was easy for him to get Seokmin what he wanted, after a while he had learned the language of his body, his strongest desires. 

Some days he wanted to be babied and cuddled and Joshua gladly gave him that, there was a strong desire to protect and cherish him like his treasure, make love to him until he believed it. That's why when he wanted to be pushed and told what to do was harder, Seokmin wanted to be told he belonged to him and that he was good and this always sparked a fire into Joshua's body. Other times he was bold and took charge, sometimes it was all three mixed up.

He grazed his tongue over his lips and let Seokmin chase his lips when he pulled back."Put down the glass and get comfortable on the armchair for me, would you baby?" Seokmin nodded quickly and did as told as he quickly opened a drawer under the tv to get the stuff. The couch had been very comfortable lately so they had to keep things close. He walked in front of his boyfriend and lifted his chin up, then stroked his lip with his finger. Seokmin didn't try licking it which was surprising. Joshua kneeled in front of him, the carpet was soft under his legs. He placed his hands on his thighs and stroked them, then up over his hips, waist, ribs until he was holding his neck carefully. Joshua almost missed the sight of a choker there. He leaned to kiss under his Addams's apple, over the few fading marks of his collarbones with his name on them. Joshua moved down and licked over his nipple, receiving a weak moan. He left a wet kiss after that and Seokmin arched into it. He licked and swirled his tongue around the skin and Seokmin's sobs grew needier, his arms falling and going back to their place around his neck.

His hands traveled down under his thighs and Joshua tugged him down harshly. He spread his legs so one of them was now resting over the armrest and Joshua lowered himself to kiss at the unblemished skin of his inner thigh.

"Please." Seokmin purred, he was already begging for him. Joshua adored how sensitive and needy he was. He lifted himself to undo a few buttons of his shirt, somehow it felt like it was strangling him, then took off the ring he had on his middle finger. He took Seokmin's hand and put it on his, then kissed his knuckles. Somehow this gesture made Seokmin feel so hot all over, he needed him right this moment. He whined and put his hand under Joshua's chin so he would look at him. It was so easy to block the rest of the world when they were together. Seokmin looked at him and he knew, he knew what he needed, how he was already helplessly desperate in his arms.

Thankfully Joshua was on the same page because he was already coating his fingers."You ready baby?"

"Yes, yes, please, I need-"He was interrupted by Joshua taking him into his mouth, he had expected his fingers but this was even better. Joshua cleared his mind and focused on only him, on making him moan, feel good, giving him everything he deserved. The moan Seokmin let out had him looking up and God, what a sight he was. Seokmin bit his lip and had to close his eyes, he wanted to last a little more after all. 

Seokmin clutched the armrest, anything to have something to hold onto as he fell into ecstasy as Joshua worked him deeper into his mouth.

Joshua swirled his tongue, then trailed it up to suck at the tip. He loved pleasing his baby with his mouth and fingers so much, it didn't matter how. He was so responsive and loud, losing control over his voice and body. Joshua moved his other leg to rest over his shoulder and pushed two fingers at once. The gasp and moan he received were like music to his ears.

Joshua moved his fingers painfully slowly and tried to match the rhythm with his mouth. He felt a hand tangling in his hair and knew that meant he was doing good. 

However, he thought what he might like even better. He moved back and Seokmin whined at the loss but it wasn't for long as Joshua quickly switched the places of his fingers and tongue, stroking him lazily and licking him with his tongue. He moaned loudly at the change and Joshua felt a pull of his hair. He was so shy and reserved the first time they did that but soon it was his favorite treat when he was a good boy. It was actually a treat for both of them because Joshua was absolutely thrilled and willing to be between his thighs anytime. 

Seokmin felt needy and feverish as Joshua's tongue and fingers brought him so close to the edge, building the pressure in his gut until he couldn’t think about anything else. Seokmin liked it generous, deep and wet, dripping. After only a few moments of that he would beg for release, any type of it. It was close, judging from his breathing and weak wrecked moans. Joshua's neck was starting to ache but he ignored it, focusing on sucking and stroking his boyfriend, he would be begging any second.

"Please, Shua." Joshua was pleased with the thought of being right. He licked once more and moved back so he didn't come already. He moved his hand still but very slowly, painfully so."No, please, let me come, please." Seokmin begged and he was so cute to deny. However, Joshua liked edging him too much. He moved down to kiss the skin of his navel until he felt Seokmin's breathing normalizing. Then he quickly took him into his mouth again. He could do this all night, edging him then switching and waiting until he could begin again. He pushed his fingers again, two at first then three and moved them slow and deep.

"Tell me how much you love this."Joshua demanded, making sure his breath was touching the tip. He kissed over it slowly then licked and circled his fingers just the right way to touch his spot.

"I do, so much." Seokmin said between broken moans. "I love the way you make me feel."

Cute. 

Hot too but mainly cute. 

The sounds he was starting to make were familiar, Joshua sank down as much as he could, he wondered how much he could edge him before he came, he would stop the second Seokmin warned him. He twisted his fingers and sucked as he moved up, any second now. He swirled his tongue and was just about to switch when-

He felt something hot spilling in his mouth and Seokmin tangling his hand in his hair. 

Well that was unexpected. 

He however didn't stop moving his fingers, it was done already might as well make it worth it. He swallowed and stroked him with his other hand until Seokmin started to twitch in overstimulation. Joshua took out his fingers and moved back, giving him space to breathe. He stood up and quickly walked to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, he brought one for Seokmin too. 

Seokmin was still sitting there but his legs were down now and he was breathing more normally. Joshua kneeled down in front of him and leaned to kiss his cheek. He opened his eyes then and looked at him, studying his face."I'm sorry."

"For what?" Joshua furrowed his eyebrows.

"For coming too soon." He looked to the side." And in your mouth." 

"It's fine baby, I love the way you taste.You shouldn't apologize for something like that." Joshua stroked his cheek lovingly. 

Seokmin nodded"Okay."

"Plus I'm sure I can make you come again, and again." Joshua said and nuzzled his nose so he would smile.

"Yes please."

Joshua kissed him after that, too sweet and gentle and made him melt. Seokmin watched with hooded eyes as he leaned back and undid the rest of the buttons of his shirt, one by one oh so slowly. The shirt was on the floor soon enough and Joshua stood up and reached his hand to lift him up too. They walked in front of the window, the view of the city was always different at night. Joshua snaked his fingers over his chest and Seokmin rested his head back on his shoulder. He moved his fingers gently and his touch felt feathery."What do you see baby?" He whispered and Seokmin felt his hot breath on his nape.

"Buildings, lights of cars, people."Which was over-exaggerated, he barely could differentiate the outlines of the cars, what was left for people.

"I hope you aren't too shy of them, I really want you right here." Seokmin felt his robe falling on the ground. The rational answer was that there was no way someone saw anything with the dimmed light in the room, the high floor and the light pollution outside."The only person I care about looking at me is you." Seokmin answered instead. He turned around and ran his hands over his boyfriend's chest and down to his pants, he was wearing way too much to be fair so he quickly took care of that. He was pressed against the glass shortly after, Joshua was kissing his neck, one of his hands was between the glass and his head and the other was traveling down to lift his thigh again. "Should I-ah- turn around?" He said quietly.

"Mmm no, I wanna see how pretty you look." Joshua said after a final kiss under his ear and released him to go and get the stuff from the ground next to the armchair, which was soon quickly handed to him ."Hold this for me, will you?" Joshua said, then wrapped his hands at the back of his thighs and picked him up. Seokmin gasped at the action and quickly held onto him.

"Really?" He said excitedly, he loved being carried so much and this was something he had hinted he wanted to try but thought it was too much of a request.

"It's your special day angel, today you can have everything." 

"God yes." Seokmin said and let his head hit the window.”How did you know?”

“Well your hinting is quite unsubtle.” Joshua said and he smiled.

"Glad you noticed, but if it becomes too much we'll move to the couch, promise me, I want you to feel good too." He pouted, he really hoped Joshua wouldn't lie to him.

"Deal, just next time you want something tell me okay?" Seokmin nodded excitedly at that. He opened the bottle and squeezed a lot of the liquid on his hand, then reached down quickly, almost wincing at the cold sensation.

"Ready?" He asked shamelessly, dropping the bottle on the ground, which made a dull sound when it hit the floor. Joshua didn't answer, he would hate to make his baby wait on his special day so he adjusted himself and lifted him a little more, slipping inside as he kissed him. He muted the whimper his boyfriend made and thought if the prep was enough for a split second. Joshua gave him a moment to adjust and left sweet kisses on his cheek."Move, please, oh God." Seokmin said shortly after and he didn't need to be told twice. He moved slow and measured, it wasn't his favorite position but he was determined to make it work. Kissing was easier which was a bonus so Joshua did that, capturing his lips while they still had breath. He set a good pace and with every sound his baby made the ache in his hands was worth it. He readjusted him higher and Seokmin bit his shoulder to muffle his moan.

"Let me hear how much you love it baby." Joshua really wanted to hear his beautiful voice but almost regretted his words as he clenched around him, making him lose his mind.

"More." Seokmin demanded instead.

"Sure."Joshua said with fake confidence, in reality he was losing his mind. He slowed down just to get him to beg for it, he kissed his cheek, his jaw, his earlobe. Seokmin whined needily at his actions and he looked so pretty pressed against the glass like that.

Seokmin rested his head back and bit his lip, then looked at him and ran his hands over his bicep and chest. "You look so gorgeous, I want you under me." Seokmin said and pulled him closer by the necklace. He was taken aback but wasn't gonna refuse such a cute request, he knew what Seokmin meant by that but couldn't help but think about other interpretations of his words. Joshua would let him if he asked. He let Seokmin down and held him in case his legs were numb. Seokmin took his hand after that and led him to the couch, pushing him down gently and straddling his lap immediately.

"Bett-" Joshua started to ask but it was interrupted by him adjusting and lowering himself.

"Definitely." Seokmin answered nevertheless and put one of his hands on the back on the couch and the other on his chest. Joshua put his own on his thighs, they had done this so many times but every time felt more amazing than the previous. Sex had always been something he enjoyed, but it was never like that. Before he did it for the thrill of it and the momentary emotion he got, having a different boy in his bed every night was exciting and making every one of them beg was satisfying, it had its highs but the lows were even deeper. Sure it felt good for a moment but what about after? He didn't like having strangers sleep next to him so he asked them to leave immediately after, then he was left alone in his bed until he fell asleep. It was a fun game he played but never something he craved, once he had had a person they weren't interesting enough for him unless he benefited in some way, he had never felt the desire to be with someone again and again. 

Until Seokmin. 

He couldn't believe he found someone so wonderfully perfect, someone that made him crave more and more. He found himself dreaming of the things he wanted to do to him, to please him too often these days. With him the high was even higher, then after he could turn around and have him in his arms all night, he woke up and he was there. Joshua wasn't alone anymore. He didn't know why or how but this boy had crawled into his skin using only his warmth, kindness and love. Only one smile was enough and Joshua would be offering his all, what was left for what he was doing right now.

"That feels absolutely amazing baby."Joshua thought he should say, his boyfriend always loved a little praise. He watched the corners of his lips lift upwards as he rolled his body sinfully good. Seokmin moved his other hand to rest under his chin so Joshua looked into his eyes.

"Beautiful." Seokmin said against his lips. His eyes were hooded and a little content smile formed on his face, he moved up and down while still rolling his hips."It feels so perfect, you fill me up so nicely." He said without looking away from his eyes and then moved his hand back to pull his hair. Seokmin's voice felt raspy and needy as he sped up. He was watching down on Joshua now and it was absolutely maddening.

"I-wow." Joshua could just stare dumbfoundedly. He felt like he's definitely close.

"Really?" Seokmin said excitedly." I've been watching some stuff." Joshua could be upset that he stopped moving if he wasn't absolutely adorable. This was his baby he was used to and knew how to handle.

"So you've been having fun without me?" He teased and guided him to move again.

"Wanted to be better for you."Seokmin closed his eyes and let himself be guided.

"Show me what you learned then." Joshua said, retreating his hands and raising his eyebrows. Seokmin didn't wait up, proceeding to move his hips just like before, quickly getting in rhythm. Truly it did feel amazing. Joshua's hands were put back on his hips and he let himself just enjoy the feeling and view. Maybe he was biased but he doubted there was something more beautiful than him. Seokmin moaned and breathed, completely entranced by his own pleasure. His hand moved down to finally touch himself so Joshua wrapped his hand around his waist and roughly spun them to lay on the couch with him on top. Joshua caught his hand and held both of them above his head. Seokmin curled his spine like a kitten and Joshua kissed his unpleasant whimper away. He was so close too, barely holding from spreading his legs right this second and fucking him  mercilessly into the couch.

"God, you're so perfect." Joshua mumbled against his lips. He wanted to kiss him all over, but that was for another day.

"Shua."He said and moved his hips under him for any kind of release."Please, please let me come." 

"I want you to look at me."Joshua said and finally spread his legs, adjusting himself and thrusting deep inside."Look at me baby." He demanded and moved back. Seokmin did obediently look at him."Good boy." 

Seokmin arched up as he hit his spot and the sounds he made were absolutely filthy. Joshua found his angle and moved at a brutal pace, watching Seokmin's mouth falling open to spill incoherent begs and moans. Seokmin's fingers travel over his shoulders and Joshua could feel him barely clawing his skin.

"You're doing so good love." Seokmin choked out and fuck. His voice sounds absolutely wrecked as he moved his hips up, gasping every time his spot is touched. His hands move to cup his cheeks. "Come for me, I want to see you- I want to feel you, please.”

Joshua came first, which was reasonable, spilling inside and leaning down to kiss him. Joshua kissed him as he chased his pleasure, waves and waves of it. He moved his hips until he couldn't anymore, he heard Seokmin's gasps as he slowed his hips and felt his tries to feel more. Joshua pulled out and moved down taking him into his mouth and slipping his fingers inside. Seokmin was trembling shortly after that, repeating Joshua's name like a mantra and it was so much louder than the last time. Joshua didn't let up, moving his fingers inside deeply, brushing over his spot and stroking him with his other hand where his mouth couldn't reach, he scissored and twisted his fingers and swirled his tongue. Seokmin's body started tensing again due to the overstimulation, he rolled his head back and was moaning so much it was getting hard to breathe. He came a second time today, and his body was shaking harder than ever. Seokmin could barely mumble the word stop, which was Joshua's cue. Joshua didn't stop when he was begging or protesting because he knew he didn't want him to, but they had an agreement that the actual word was the point he couldn't anymore. Joshua wiped his fingers and moved, kissing his way up and gladly collapsed into his open arms. Seokmin was breathing heavily and if they were on the bed it would have been easier. Joshua gently maneuvered him to the side and squeezed between him and the couch, then wrapped his hands around him. It was too hot and sticky for any contact but his baby always needed it and truly he loved holding him too. Seokmin breathed into his chest and let his hand rest over his waist too. Joshua rubbed his back and kissed his hair.

"Wow." Seokmin murmured against his chest then.

"I hope so." Joshua chuckled."My baby did amazing too"

"Yeah." He whispered," I'm your baby."

Adorable."Yes, you are." 

Seokmin turned to look at him with bright eyes and his precious smile and Joshua smiled back softly.

"Shua?" Seokmin said after a few moments of comfortable silence. He nodded in response."Thank you, for everything, I don't know how-"Seokmin sighed."I'm in love with you." He simply said instead.

"I know baby, I love you too." They readjusted so Seokmin was laying on his chest and Joshua ran his fingers from his nape down along his spine and back."Do you want me to take you to bed?" 

"Sure, we can try but let me breathe for a minute, my body still feels mushy."

"I meant to sleep." Joshua rolled his eyes.

"I feel gross, let me clean up, then we'll see." Seokmin quickly stole a kiss and stood up as best as he could. Joshua smiled and closed his eyes, putting his hands behind his neck. He was used to being the one in control, at all times but he quite liked the dynamic change. He could see it becoming a regular if Seokmin was willing. His name was called a second later and he lazily stood up and walked into the bathroom, he could definitely use some sleep right now. Seokmin was holding a wet towel over the sink then came closer to clean him too, he didn't need it that much but it was a nice gesture. After that they walked hand in hand in the bedroom and got under the covers. It always felt easy, throwing a hand over Seokmin, pulling him closer and feeling the warmth of his skin. He fell asleep immediately after that, losing himself into the comfort that was always around him lately.

iv.

"Joshua." He felt his name being called but couldn't decide if it was a dream or not."Shuaaa." That was definitely a whine next to his ear. He turned to the other side with a huff. He felt warm hands wrapping around him and Seokmin's chest against his back. "Wake up." Joshua heard him mumble after a minute, then he was standing up from the bed. He walked to the other side and slipped under the covers. Joshua hugged him closer, pressing his head to his chest in attempt to make him quiet."Babe, wake up, please." His whine was quieter and sadder. Joshua opened his eyes, fuck him and his weak heart.

"Babyboy." Joshua said quietly and leaned down to peck his lips."Shut up and sleep" He closed his eyes again and dozed off for an unidentifiable amount of time before he was nudged again, this time more sharply. Seokmin escaped his grip and Joshua let him, hoping he would go back to his side of the bed and fall asleep. He however felt a kiss on his cheek, then trailing down his jaw and neck. Seokmin continued leaving kisses on every inch of skin he could and arousing him enough to feel himself slowly waking up.

"What time is it?" He sighed."Why aren't you sleeping baby."

" Around 4 am, I woke up half an hour ago." Joshua hummed, his eyes were starting to close again."Don't fall asleep, I need you.", Seokmin whined. He moved up so they were face to face.

"What do you possibly need at 4 am?"

"I want you to make love to me." He moved down and nuzzled his nose. Cute, even in this unholy hour.

"I'm sure it can wait a few hours."Joshua said and pushed him off gently. "Go to sleep."

"That's homophobic." Seokmin said, laying on his back, crossing his arms and pouting. Joshua turned towards him amusedly and smiled at his ridiculous words.

"I'm literally your boyfriend and I'm laying naked in the same bed, that's the furthest thing from that." Seokmin looked at him for half a second then back to the ceiling again, lifting his nose."And last time I checked you aren't even gay so-"

"Biphobic then, you can't argue with that." Seokmin bit back. Joshua rolled his eyes, he was awake now, might as well indulge him, and it’s not like he was totally against it. He leaned in for a kiss, the other quickly responding at that. Seokmin climbed on top of him, who wrapped his hands around his waist. The kisses were starting to wake him up more and more, however, he was very much too lazy for quickening his actions, Seokmin wants it slow anyway. Joshua didn’t know how long they stayed like that, simply exchanging kisses but apparently it was a tad too long since Seokmin was getting impatient on top of him, grinding his hips down and making quiet needy noises. Joshua opened his mouth and moaned when he felt him licking into it. Seokmin's lips traveled down over his cheek, then jaw and took his time over his neck.

"Do it baby, I'm yours remember?" Joshua encouraged and instantly felt a soft bite, followed by sucking and licking over the place, the touch was feathery, he wasn't even sure it'll leave a mark. He returned for more kisses after and Joshua kissed him lazily, licking into his mouth easily, pulling moans out of Seokmin with just his tongue and his fingers, which were now on his hair and neck.

"Wanna switch?" Seokmin asked after a while.

"Nah." Joshua said." It was your idea baby, take charge."

Seokmin hummed in response and moved his hand down between them."I don't see you complaining."He said against his lips."You are the one to blame for my legs hurting, take responsibility." He smirked."Babe."

'Oh baby,you are not winning this." Joshua said confidently.

Maybe Joshua should have learned by now. Either he is too weak for his baby or he is very persistent. 

Maybe both.

They find a consensus easy enough, Joshua prepped him quickly, he doesn't have to do much until he is told it's enough and for once he agreed. Joshua maneuvered him to the side while he got behind him and kissed his shoulder. Usually he enjoyed looking at his face but the tiredness took its toll on him, he would do that next time.

"Is this alright with you babyboy?" He asked softly and snaked his hand to rest over his lower stomach.

"Yeat, it's good." Seokmin turned his head so he lifted himself to kiss him. Joshua got a grip over his thigh as they exchange slow kisses and moved it up towards his stomach, just enough to make the position better. He held his thigh harshly as he moved inside, very slowly, pleased to hear the sounds he made.

"Oh fuck yes, finally." Seokmin said and Joshua didn't see him but could imagine the kind of content smile he had on his lips. Joshua didn't reply, instead focusing himself on thrusting as well as possible, of the hot skin against his chest and the tightness around him. Seokmin's hand bends back to knot in his hair and pull it. Shit. He moved forward roughly as a result and took his breath out."God, yes, again."

Well so much for making love Joshua thought. "Shh baby, otherwise this will be over quickly." Joshua mumbled against the skin of his nape and prepped a wet kiss after.

"You can come, I'll wait till you-" Joshua cut him off by moving his hand over his mouth. Joshua meant it, he could deal with his begs and moans but this newfound confidence was way too much, too hot and dangerously tempting. Joshua needed at least a minute. He felt Seokmin mumbling something so he let him go.

"Sorry baby." He said.

"I'm into it.”He said with a gasp.”Can I suck your fingers instead?" Joshua huffed as he guided two fingers into his mouth, pulled out and slammed back in. Seokmin's moan vibrated through his fingers and straight down his body. He started moving back to meet his thrust, one hand still tangled in his hair, while the other was clutching the sheets. Joshua picked up his pace after that, his fingers felt very wet but he really didn’t mind.

"Feels so good " Joshua made sure to moan it into his ear and left a kiss after. He took his fingers out of his mouth, receiving an unpleasant whimper, which turned into a gasp as he lowered his hand to stroke him. Joshua moved his free hand to hold his jaw and neck and lift his head in an awkward kiss. 

The tightness and Seokmin's whining sent him over the edge faster than he would like. He sped the movements of his wrist and felt him pull his hair again. Seokmin found himself not on his side but pressed to the bed with Joshua's solid body over him and he absolutely loved it. Joshua's hand moved from his neck and found his, intertwining their fingers. It's such a simple gesture but he melted at it. "I love you so fucking much." Seokmin groans and it's muffled by the pillow but he's sure Joshua heard him. He could complain that he isn't moving his hand anymore but he doesn't find the strength.

Joshua saw white as he came after his words, burying himself deep into the warmth and bit down the first inch of skin he got his mouth to. Joshua moved, chasing his high until he heard him cry out too, spilling over his hand and the sheets. He thrusted his hips until he couldn't anymore and pulled out, Seokmin honest to god whined at the loss.

Joshua climbed off his back and collapsed on the bed. He closed his eyes and waited one, two, three seconds before Seokmin turned to him for a hug.

"Love you too."Joshua said after a moment and Seokmin lifted his head to kiss his jaw.

"I'm sleepy now." He said without moving. Joshua tiredly stood up and got the wipes from the nightstand. He cleaned them up and accidentally made Seokmin hiss from sensitivity.

Finally, he laid back down with Seokmin curling around him on the side of the bed that wasn't wet. Joshua fell asleep content, with Seokmin gently running his fingers over the skin of his chest.

v.

A month rolled unseemingly before Seokmin knew it. He got his diploma and a few days after that he was called for an interview for a paid internship, sure it wasn't that much but he adored every second of it. His shifts ended early most days so he had free time too, to meet with friends, drive to see his grandma whenever he wasn't too tired, go and wait for Joshua at his studio so they could get home together.

Today he had planned to cook dinner and wait for him at home. Seokmin quickly got into his car, which was parked a few blocks away, he just hoped Joshua isn't too late.

To his surprise, Joshua was already home.

When Joshua heard the door opening he quickly got out of the bedroom and closed the door after himself, greeting him with a smile, unusual one."Baby, you are home early?" 

"No, I usually come home around that time." Seokmin brushed the thought off and returned his hug. "I wanted to make you dinner before you are home but I guess we can both cook then, it's more fun anyway." He lifted the bags that he had dropped to take off his shoes."Can you take this to the kitchen, I'll just change quickly?"

"No-" Joshua said immediately."You look just fine, why don't we start the dinner and talk first?" Seokmin sensed worry in his voice.

"Babe, you are being weird." Seokmin lifted his chin with his fingers to look him into the eyes." Why can't I go to the bedroom?"

"I promise it's nothing bad." Joshua sighed and shook his head. Well, he wasn’t thinking anything bad but now that he said it. Seokmin looked at him for a long time so he gave in."Okay, fine, close your eyes." 

"Why?"

"Trust me baby." Seokmin did as told and Joshua took the bags out of his hand, then stood behind him, placing his hand on his hip and intertwining their fingers with the other. Seokmin had grown quite fond of Joshua's surprises which never stopped. He let himself be led by him to what he remembered from memory was the bedroom without opening his eyes. When they were in the bedroom Joshua helped him sit on the end of the bed, then he heard his quiet footsteps walking around the room.

After a moment Seokmin felt something soft being placed between his hands in his lap, he tried not to jump at it. For a second he thought it was a pillow or something of sorts until the fluff ball licked his palm. 

"Shua is that?" He bit his bottom lip but squeezed his eyes, scared he would open them before he could.

"See for yourself baby." Seokmin heard his voice close to his ear.

When he did open his eyes his breath hitched and his heart skipped a beat. Sure he remembered them briefly mentioning it but he didn't think he would get it this soon. A puppy, a small soft white puppy was laying lazily in his lap, as it had just woken up from a nap. Seokmin carefully ran his finger over its little back to pet it and felt he was about to cry when the little thing turned to get his belly pet too. It had the smallest pink bow next to its ear. 

"I tried calling the shelter to see if they are open on Sunday so we could go together but they didn't pick up do I decided to go after work and check." Joshua bopped the puppy's little nose and it licked his finger. Seokmin thought his heart will stop."But when I saw her I instantly knew we had to get her."

"She's a rescue dog?" Seokmin felt his eyes burn then, he picked the little puppy and hugged her to close his heart as carefully as he could.

"Yeah, the owner told me they found her and two other puppies left in a box next to the road."Joshua said sadly.

"And the other two?" Seokmin felt the tears spilling just by the thought of this precious thing being abandoned like that.

"They were already adopted, it was just her." Joshua reached to wipe his tears and kissed his cheek. "Do you like her?"

"Like? I'm absolutely in love with her, she's the most beautiful puppy I've seen." Seokmin leaned into him and Joshua wrapped his arm around his back. " And she's ours, right?" Joshua nodded. Seokmin's heart jumped at the thought of having something he could love and take care of and doing it with Joshua would make him the happiest man. He didn't even know how to start thanking him for giving him everything, love, home, and now something so little but meaning so much.

"Are you happy baby?" Joshua asked quietly and kissed his hair. 

"You make me happy every day, I love all the presents you give me but she's definitely my favorite." 

"I'm glad darling, but to be honest I've always wanted to have a pet too. However, with work it was impossible. I don't know if you've noticed but I like taking care of stuff, or well someone." 

Seokmin giggled." I'm quite aware.”The puppy rolled in his lap again and tried to escape and explore her new home.”You're gonna be an amazing dad." 

"It wouldn't be easy but I'm sure we'll manage her, she's quite small."Joshua looked fondly at the puppy while Seokmin looked at him the same way.

"Yes, first her, then our kids one day?" Seokmin said carefully, it was maybe too soon to talk about this but he felt like he had loved Joshua for a lifetime already. The look that Joshua gave him after that made his heart flutter.

"Our kids." Joshua exhaled and closed his eyes, then smiled. " Having a family was a dream I always thought was unreachable. but now that I got you it’s like I could actually have it." And Joshua almost never cried but Seokmin knew the signs, he never had to be tough in front of him.”Thank you for saying that, I-I would like nothing more.”

"Well dreams come true." Seokmin leaned closer as carefully as to not disturb the puppy."And you are mine." Seokmin kissed him soft and sweet, pouring nothing but the love he felt."Does she have a name?"

"Hm, no angel, it's all up to you."

"Angel." Seokmin said and looked at the puppy in his arms." It suits her so well." He carefully placed her in Joshua's arms and took his phone to take a quick picture. Joshua softly kissed the crown of her head.The two loves of his life, he hadn't seen anything more beautiful.

Seokmin looked at the photo as he set it as his new wallpaper. He started crying then, he didn't know why exactly, apart from the fact he was so happy it didn't even seem real. Joshua slowly put down the now sleeping puppy at the end of the bed but far enough so it doesn't fall, she was still a baby, it was reasonable she would want to sleep most of the time. They should get her her own bed as soon as possible. He then took Seokmin's hand and led him to lay down together. Joshua wiped his tears away and kissed him, gave him patience and warmth. Seokmin has always been very sensitive and now it didn't feel like the worst thing.

"I'm crying out of happiness, I promise."Seokmin said against his neck and nuzzled himself closer. Joshua hummed and squeezed him closer. "It's just...when I saw you almost a year ago at the bar I never imagined-" Seokmin didn't finish his sentence but Joshua understood what he meant.

'' It's really been almost a year since then.'' Joshua said, looking at the ceiling and running his fingers through Seokmin's hair. 

"Back then I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea of why would the most gorgeous man I've seen in my life flirt with me, even less wanting to take me on a date and now you start talking about having a family together. I- I'm easily overwhelmed." 

"You really thought that?" 

"Um yeah? I thought you were way out of my league. Still do.'' Seokmin heard his quiet giggle and it warmed his heart.

"Well obviously I thought the same thing, otherwise I wouldn't have let you give me that awful margarita."Seokmin lifted himself to look at him."Don't pout, it's not you baby, you know I don't enjoy alcohol that much." Seokmin smiled and it lit up his whole face. He cupped Joshua's face with both palms and kissed him.

"I know and I love that about you, all the little details.”He started.” The way you are so confident but still light up when someone you love gives you their approval, the way you pout when you sleep and start whining if I move away from you, the way you love your friends and would give anything for them, that you are selfless but harsh when needed, that you've worked hard to achieve everything you have, there isn't a part about you I don't love, even the ones that you struggle with and don't like, I love all of them too." Seokmin said close to his lips and kissed his cheek after. He stroked his jaw with his nose and waited.

"I love you too baby." Joshua sighed.”I just need a minute.“ Seokmin understood. It had taken a lot of time for Seokmin to stop seeing him as someone perfect and unbreakable and that somehow made him love him even more. They both weren't perfect and something about it made him happy. Happy that they were able to find each other, that they were able to give each other everything they didn't have. At first, it was a promise, then security and warmth, then love and home. And maybe a family one day.”Thank you.”Joshua said and connected their lips.

Maybe not soon but one day, they had all of the time of the world in their hands and Seokmin knew it because he had his own little world right here.

And surely one day it would grow.

One day and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's finally finished, I don't know if this is the final I imagined but thought its time for me to end it. This has never had a solid plan, it honestly started with the plan of having five or six chapters but I kept getting new ideas and well now we're here. I'm sorry for my irregular schedule and thanks to the ones reading from the start to the very ending. I wanna write a short epilogue so maybe look forward to that? The last two chapters didn't get any feedback, so leave me a comment please <3 I really love this ship and will surely continue writing it, hopefully, you'll still want to read it. Thank you all so much for reading again and ily.


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